Animal Crossing Where Art Thou?
Upon my 16th birthday party I received a wii from my parents with Animal Crossing City Folk, a gamecube controller, and a gamecube memory card. However I have a rule where I should always play the games in chronological order. So I got a friend invite on facebook from one of my former classmates. He was willing to sell his copy of animal crossing on the gamecube for 5 bucks. I only rented the game in the past. However my new pal of facebook warned me that the cover was slightly burned since there was once a small fire in his room from too many outlets in an extension cord which burned most of his gamecube games except Animal Crossing. However I didn’t care and started to pop the game in my wii. So when the screen loaded up the gameplay was normal. I immediately received Rover the blue cat in the beginning who was super nice and put in a good word for a nice house in Nooklyn (my created town name). When I entered the town Tom Nook the owner of Nooks Granny welcomed me and allowed me to pick one of the four houses like usual. I was short on bells (currency of the game) but Tom didn’t seem to care but allowed me to work for a while to pay some of my debt off. Tom Nook eventually told me to introduce myself to all town residents including the 5 or 6 people that lived in other houses Tom Nook made. All of my neighbors were cheerful except Spike but all wanted to live back with their folks or move once their mortgage was all paid off. However I noticed that after all my neighbors finally paid off their debt have all disappeared without the usual letter. Eventually I received a farewell letter a week later in the game from my former neighbor Jay. However all these disappearances had one thing in common. My neighbors all purchased stationary from Tom Nook before departing Nooklyn. The type of stationary I received from Jay was plain old white with the Tom Nook official seal at the bottom. However one day when I was purchasing furniture for my expanding home I asked Tom about the stationary but claimed Jay bought fancy stationary to write his friends farewell letters. However when I confronted Tom he said “maybe he ran out of the fancy stationary.” I was Jay’s best friend so I thought he would write his farewell letter to me first but then I grew slowly suspicious of Tom but the train to take me back to my home town broke down. Eventually when I was close to paying off my complete mortgage to Tom Nook, he acted even friendlier and invited me along with the sewing sisters, Tortimer (mayor), Rover, and the mail woman to a fancy dinner on the top floor of his successful new building. I never remembered this part of the game but I assumed it was a part of the game since I never got far my first playthrough. I showed up late to the party when my character overslept. Tom was still friendly and the other guests were waiting for me. I went to the top floor with a fancy buffet table. However Tom stated guests get to eat first. However after taking a bite of a cherry (our town fruit was peaches) Tom had locked the door and all the other guests threw out their plates. I asked if what I did disturbed their appetites. However Tom showed off his 3 boys which I’ve never seen before. Tom then stated “Do you know why their is no mother in this picture?” I stated no and asked Tom about his wife. Tom stated that a few years ago his wife was on a business trip to the town where I lived in with my folks before moving to Nooklyn. Tom stated his wife never came backed and her clients said she was shot by a small family in a white roofed house which had shocked me since my house was the only house to have a white roof in the town. Tom recalled have you seen any raccoon skin from the gunshot. I recalled my father wearing some raccoon skin as a hat when he went hunting. Tom then seemed outraged but kept his cool and sighed. Then Tom revealed the food in the buffet contained lethal poison that can kill a person in 3 hours with no antidote. But Tom was willing to answer any question I asked before dying. Of course I was asking about the missing neighbors such as Jay. Tom then stated the other guests such as Rover make top dollar for properly removing the pests after their mortgage is paid off. Tom stated the furniture and other materials in his store were made of the skin of former neighbors and use whatever left for whatever revenue. Tom stated he gets to make money like crazy in a never ending process of foolish youngsters and got revenge against my family for the murder of his wife. Tom then asked how good would a human skin coat look on him just like how a human would look good with a fur coat. Finally Tom forged my signature of already made letters made out to my parents and other relatives to visit the town to check up on me. However Tom stated you won’t be alive to see them but I will make sure that they will see you before your death. However Tom gave me pity and admitted that he would not give me a slow painful death from the poison but had his hands around my neck. Eventually Tom twisted my players neck until they were dead. Now Tom stated you have done better then the last player and the game over screen appeared. The only option was to start off a new game but then decided to play the sequel Animal Crossing City Folk for the Wii for a more relaxing gaming experience. Then when dumping out my old gamecube disc of the animal crossing game a garbage man picked the game out of the trash can and stated his son has been looking for this game for some time.
Originally posted on Crappypasta.com, 29 December 2012 by KrustyKingdom
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