Asagi Igawa Goes To Walmart
Authors Note: This TrollPasta is heavily inspired by my good friend who wrote "Caillou Goes To Tesco" named "Bruno Tattagllia" or "Matthew Bumford" As I tend to refer to him as. if you ever come across my story Matthew. you've honestly inspired me, and even inspired my buddy Zeronx with making our stories. we really appreciate it a lot!
My name is “Nanami Madobe” I am a mascot called “OS-tan’s” from the Windows Operating System’s which were Japanese exclusives. I just returned home from working at Microsoft in America. since I decided to move to America. I heard that there was a certain incident by the codename of “Windows 99” that shall not be named. Which caused me to leave Microsoft earlier than expected after a friend of mine named “Edgeboi” told me about how that “Incident” almost ruined the company and they fired anyone that was related to the project and it was buried to the dust. But enough about that story. Let’s get to the main subject shall we?
I have obtained a lost episode of Taimanin Asagi from Edgeboi’s good friends Dante and Kat from DmC: Devil May Cry that I have. If you don’t know what “Taimanin Asagi is, it is a naughty anime series about Ninja Women that gained a cult following similar to another naughty anime series called “Bible Black” Particularly involving The Misadventures of one of the ninja women by the name of “Asagi Igawa” and the Orcs that are trained by her arch-nemesis named Oboro which is a clone of Asagi’s friend named “Oboro Koukawa”
I double checked the file. The file was in the .DVR-MS format oddly enough. Which is a rather obscure file format used by Microsoft used mainly for Copy-Protection Material. I was one of the early testers. Which was a very creepy and unsettling coincidence to say the least. When I opened the video in VLC Media Player. It opened with a disclaimer with Pastor Martin Ssempa’s voice saying “If we have any children please step out! This is a parental guidance moment.. Now that child can be moved out!” and it cut to a picture of Not Important from Hatred pointing a gun at the camera with a sound of a gunshot playing in the background as it cut to black as he said “Oboro.. We have a message from The Anti-Lolicon Bunch.. You will not get away from what you have done.. It’s time for payback. and one more thing.. you reek of weakness you cunt!” After that oddly disturbing scene played, it showed Asagi Igawa. The titular main protagonist of the Taimanin series going into a Walmart. It showed her getting some sniper rifles in the gun area. The gun store owner was in fact John Wick. the badass main protagonist of the hit John Wick films. It then transitioned to a scene where Charmx now known as Fresh Cut Slim in the clothing area getting some spare Beanies for him and The Doomer Guy.
in the movie aisle in the Walmart. You can see the popular ex-reactor Abraham Foulkes getting a My Little Pony DVD. later in the bathroom stalls you can see Mac Tonight and Fat Albert angrily interrogating Moon Man after Moon Man tried to insult Hell Knight Ingrid and Korra from The Legend Of Korra. Moon Man is probably one of the most REALLY disgusting examples on why certain memes/actions of users on the internet and real life have ruined iconic mascots of television shows and restaurants. Same can be said for Bill Cosby. Fat Albert’s creator. But luckily Mac Tonight and Fat Albert have teamed up to form a group named “The Misunderstood Duo” which they aimed to inform people not to blame the characters that were ruined by their creator’s or other people’s actions online.
Mac Tonight and Fat Albert were saying that they are going to kill Moon Man if he doesn’t tell them why he insulted Hell Knight Ingrid and Korra the way he did. But as soon as he was about to answer he got shot in the head point blank by Mac Tonight and Fat Albert. Both of them told Moon Man’s dead body in reference to Eminem’s song called “Under The Influence” “Gruesome and causin' more violence than nine hoodlums I grapple your Adam's apple, until it crackle Run right past you, turn around, grab you, and stab you and I leave ya face leakin',” and as soon as both Mac Tonight and Fat Albert left. Imp-Tan from H-Doom dragged Moon Man’s body to hell with a giant skeleton hand like Shinnok from Mortal Kombat. Imp-Tan then said to the camera while her eyes glowed in the darkness of the Bathroom stalls and with an evil smirk on her face.
“Sleep Tight.. Night Night…” and after that awesome and badass scene played. In the bathroom you can hear someone muttering to themselves which turned out to be “BSL Reaction Asylum” another famous YouTube Reaction Channel similar to Charmx and Abraham Foulkes. He was muttering to himself and all of a sudden you can see a giant piece of broccoli spawned by someone with green hair that escaped from a high school where that person had the ability to spawn and eat broccoli from their own hair. BSL Reaction Asylum looked out of the bathroom he was in and he saw the giant piece of broccoli that was spawned by that person that was slammed into the ground with a loud bang. He got “Vietnam flashbacks” from when Caillou in that one Caillou YTP called “Caillou Loses His iPhone” and he yelled “WHO WOULD WANT TO FUCK BROCCOLI WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO FUCK BROCCOLI!!!” this caused BSL Reaction Asylum to run out of the Walmart in shock and he ran to the nearest Anime Convention to calm down and he had a very good time afterwards much like your average weeb.
Another scene played which in the back of the Walmart you can see Yatsu Kuro from Taimanin Asagi fighting Nosferachu (who was in fact Nosferatu’s Evil Twin Brother) and Nosferachu was saying in a low and monotone voice similar to Moist Cr1tikal but was at least trying to imitate him but failed miserably. Nosferachu was singing as he was trying to melt the Walmart with his powers. “I’ve been fucking poppin pills and I feel like a Rockstar” but luckily Yatsu Kuro ended up saving the Walmart by cutting Nosferachu’s head off with his Katana. Oddly named “The Vengeful Killer Of Pill Poppers” and Yatsu Kuro said “Game Over” in reference to the Tekken 7 Announcer. Yatsu Kuro walked away into the darkness of the abyss. He later somehow got trapped into the Soul Cairn after accidentally trapping himself with a portal to the Soul Cairn that he made. but he wants to find a way out to return to the normal realm of humanity. It cut back to the Walmart where Olcadan the “Wise Owl-Man from Soul Calibur 3 came into the Walmart with Zeus, and Bud The African Grey Parrot. The three of them became really good friends after they met each other. They went to the bird food section and bought some bird food for them to eat. In the manager's office you can see a business meeting taking place with Not Important, Postal Dude, Bill Williamson from Rampage, Widowmaker from Hatred, Femme Not Important, and Postal Grll.
They were talking about how they wanted to improve the company and how it shouldn’t be run by greedy bastards that “Plague their society like the human worms feasting on their carcasses” as said by Not Important. Postal Dude agreed with Not Important and looked at him with a stern look. Postal Dude then said “Yeah. I'll deep fry those greedy bastards like a goddamn cow!” Not Important then responded back to Postal Dude by saying that he would “Take the matters into his own hands if the greedy bastards don’t comply with our needs” Femme Not Important, Widowmaker, and Postal Grll asked if they can invite Bowsette, Seth The Incubus, and Hell Knight Ingrid for some “Fun Time” in the private bathroom that the Walmart Staff has for “Private Usage” Postal Dude said to all three of them “Yeah. sure I honestly don’t care what you three do. As long as you don’t break their pelvises” with Postal Dude, Not Important, and Bill Williamson letting out a small chuckle. Femme Not Important, Widowmaker, and Postal Grll nodded in agreement to Postal Dude’s response and they headed on their way. In the food aisle you can see “General Tullius” who is the general of the Imperial Legion and one of the main military governors of Skyrim. Who rivals one of the most infamous rulers in Skyrim’s history. Named “Ulfric Stormcloak” who is one of The Anti-Lolicon Bunch’s Enemies alongside Caillou The RTL, Miles Tails Prower, and Waluigi to name a few. General Tullius was shopping for Lettuce and Tomatoes to ship to The East Empire Company to import to other provinces in Tamriel. General Tullius heard some commotion going on at the fruits and veggies aisle.
And the commotion turned out to be Trooper The Cat, and Felicia from DarkStalkers. General Tullius found out that both Felicia and Trooper were indeed a married couple. And their children were named Inigi, and Kharjoy, named after Inigo the Khajiit and Kharjo the Khajiit. General Tullius spoke to both Trooper and Felicia about the possibility of them serving in The Imperial Legion to help out the Imperial Legion and The Anti-Lolicon Bunch with taking down Caillou, The RTL, and his allies. Trooper and Felicia agreed on what General Tullius said.
And the three of them walked the other way to talk to other people in the Walmart to quote “Spread the message of The Imperial Legion and The Anti-Lolicon Bunch” near the pastry and bread aisle. Pastor Martin Ssempa and The African Tribes can be seen buying pita bread, banana bread, rice, edible salty seaweed, and some cow tongue that they found at the meat section. They went to the register and found out that Caillou The RTL, and his allies including his newest Ally Max from Blue Tax was there.
Pastor Martin Ssempa told Caillou The RTL in an angry tone: “DO YOU ACCEPT EATING DA POO POO CAILLOU!! YOU MUST DIE!!!” And as soon as the African Tribesmen did their war cry and started throwing their spears and running after Caillou. Everyone else in the store started running after Caillou. Even Asagi Igawa joined in on the fight too. Suddenly. Barack Obama the former president of the United States walked in and once Obama heard Caillou started yelling slurs as Caillou was being chased by everyone in the store. Barack Obama started crying. For some strange reason He decided to wipe his tears with the American Flag that was in The Walmart. Things later turned into chaos as Max from Blue Tax and the rest of Caillou's Allies chased after Barack Obama and Barack Obama suddenly got out a Katana and suddenly had supernatural powers that he got from training with Asagi Igawa and Yatsu Kuro. Barack Obama then charged with the Katana head first into Max and Max went flying into the American flag pole that was sticking out in the ground and Max got impaled in the chest with the flag pole leaving Max dead. Ulfric Stormcloak tried to run but General Tullius saw what was going on. General Tullius grabbed Ulfric, threw him and sent him flying into the sky causing him to be thrown out of the Walmart by General Tullius causing him to be knocked out. After Ulfric woke up from being knocked out. He saw that SCP-076-2, SCP-343 and some Imperial Soldiers were watching him. And soon enough the Imperial Soldiers stabbed Ulfric Stormcloak with Katanas in the style of the African Tribes from the YTP Caillou Goes to Africa. Then SCP-076-2 and SCP-343 evaporated Ulfric Stormcloak in to ashes with SCP-343's lightning powers. Back inside the Walmart Miles Tails Prower also tried to run like the little coward he is and this caused Tails to run into Shadow The Hedgehog. Shadow The Hedgehog then called Shermie from King Of Fighters and her brother Kenji Murakami on the phone to deal with Tails all together. Shermie, Kenji, and Shadow The Hedgehog grabbed The Bible Black Book that was sitting on the front desk nearby for some strange reason and they cast a spell on Tails that can melt people. This in turn caused Tails to melt into a gooey mess leaving nothing but a pile of black goo. Shadow The Hedgehog told Shermie and Kenji to throw away the black goo into the pacific ocean where it cannot be found ever again.
They did as told and they went on their way. After that. It then cut back to when Caillou was being chased by everyone in Walmart. Caillou tried to yell slurs once again but this time everyone pounced on Caillou and beat him senseless. After Caillou got beaten up by everyone in the store. Pastor Martin Ssempa and The African Tribesmen brought him over to Taki Minase from Bible Black who for some reason. Was watching the entire thing unfold like the good sport that he was raised to be. Pastor Martin Ssempa talked about a possible punishment for Caillou to Taki Minase. Taki Minase then said to Ssempa that he will cast a Black Magic spell on Caillou to turn him into “A Shit in a pizzeria” which is another reference to that one Caillou YTP called “Caillou Loses His iPhone” Caillou then got transformed into a shit that was shown in the next scene in a pizzeria with the Monty Python Intermission music when people in the restaurant were eating pizza. Suddenly.. Chef Boyardee walked in and he noticed a “piece of shit” that was in his pizzeria that was not there a couple of minutes ago. He realized that it was Caillou that was transformed into it. Chef Boyardee then said in Hawkknight76's voice that was edited in: “That's what happens when you become a racist and disgusting child!” and you can see a deaf person in the restaurant talking to Chef Boyardee in Sign language and mentioning how “Caillou Was A Racist Asshole” Chef Boyardee heavily agreed with that statement. And After that the end credits scene played. The music for the end credits scene was “Bittersweet Symphony” after the credits ended it showed who the directors were. The directors of this lost Taimanin Asagi episode were Seth Bayona and Zeronx Lighten. I was surprised that both of those guys managed to direct this without having any sort of backlash whatsoever because cancel culture is a huge and nasty problem nowadays. After the directors were shown. There was a post credits scene. With Zeronx Lighten, Foxy from Fnaf, and the YouTuber named Tuv. They were all at the same Walmart where this whole “Caillou” incident happened with Asagi Igawa and the crew. They brought in Foxy's laptop because someone apparently downloaded a bunch of files that corrupted Foxy's Hard Drive and the computer won't start or boot up. The computer guy turned out to be Tuv's friend who knew a lot about computers and had a history with fixing them. Tuv asked his friend if he could look to see what was wrong with Foxy's computer and he said yes and to give him a couple of minutes to boot it up using his software that he uses. 5 minutes later Tuv, Zeronx, and Foxy were told by Tuv's friend to look at what he saw in Foxy's computer. Tuv, Foxy, and Zeronx went over to see what was the issue. And they couldn't even believe their eyes what was wrong with the computer.
The boot up screen was a photoshopped fusion of Osama Bin Laden and Kramer from Seinfeld. And the sound byte from the Palestinian Alarm Clock played and once the computer booted up to the desktop. All of them were extremely mortified by what they saw that was the desktop background. The background was replaced with The Bible Black Cast. But this time in the corner Osama Bin Laden was smiling at the viewer. Zeronx and Foxy muttered angrily under their breath: “Oh God Penis Lady did this!!!” Tuv and his friend asked who this so-called “Penis Lady” is. Both Zeronx and Foxy told both Tuv and his friend that “Penis Lady” which her real name is “Reika Kitami” had a sketchy history and apparently was in kahoots with Osama Bin Laden when he was still alive. "I just remembered something…." Foxy said. "What was it?" Tuv asked. "The white coat… at Pirate cove… on the day after I was with Haydee and Moby at this same Walmart to check out new game releases and Pastor Martin Ssempa telling us that we shouldn't buy the Bananas and Cucumbers because Oboro have been using them to shove it up her ass and placing it back. When Moby and Haydee dropped me back off at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. I saw that coat. Heck I even told Freddy and the others about it but they didn't remember anything about the coat but they did remember scaring a blonde haired woman in a black dress out of the establishment." Foxy said. "It's most likely that she's out there but who knows where she could be." Tuv said. Then Tuv and his friend told both Zeronx and Foxy that they will help both Zeronx and Foxy with finding Reika and bringing her to justice. Another black screen fade out showed and the last scene of the episode then showed the Walmart at night when nobody was in the store and it was closed. But in the darkness in the aisles you can make out a figure in a white coat, blonde hair, and glowing crucifix earrings. The film cut to black and that's where it ended. I was honestly amazed with Seth and Zeronx’s film. It was quite funny and entertaining seeing Caillou getting his ass handed to him by everyone in the Walmart. I also loved the part where Mac Tonight and Fat Albert killed Moon Man and Imp-Tan sent his body to hell. That also put a huge smile on my face. I really appreciate what they did in this film. I then shut off my computer and I returned to working at Microsoft after Quitting which surprisingly they gave me another chance to work there. Which is unlike them. I noticed that two of my colleagues were Ultra Instinct Shaggy and Ika The Legendary Super Saiyan. Both of them turned out to be a couple. We became really good friends and we have been working very hard together to improve relationships with other companies and take down those scammers that have this slogan which is called “All They Want Is Your Money” which is a scary but true statement. Anyway, Before I officially sign off from telling this story.
I have something to tell you. As the narrator of this story has a very good message to help out others in need of being loved.
No matter what you think.
There are always people that actually care about you and love you.
You aren't alone.
Even though people have everyday problems and needs. think and stay positive in your mind. And things will end up getting better in the end for you once you get through it.
You'll get through whatever happened to you.
Stay safe during these troubled times. Have hope in yourself and never give up!
Nanami Madobe Signing Off..
Credited to Seth Bayona & Zeronx Lighten
| Comments • 4 |
Loading comments...
|
