BASED ON A TRUE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111!
'twas a Wednesday afternoon when this strange occurrence took place, and a very hyperrealisticly normal Wednesday at that. I had just gotten back from my prostituting business, i didn't like dicks in my ass but someone had to do it, i got a call from my grandma asking me to pick up a few things her... well actually... only one thing...
"Can u pick up the master wand from dumblewhore for me deary?"...
"Alright, cool lol sure" i said in reply, it was on my way home anyway...
after i bought the wand from dumbo the flying house elf or some shit for a piece of pocket lint and a used condom... a little bit over priced in my opinion but anyways i started driving to my grandmas house.
when i arrived the door was locked, which was weird since my grandma doesn't have a door but anyways i asked politely and the door opened. when i got in my grandma was sitting on the couch with a knife in her hand and a dead cat with a slit throat beside her... I WAS SHOCKED! i didn't know what to say... but i gave her a piece of my mind alright...
"Grandma your supposed to sit on the chair not the couch silly"
"f u bitch" said grandma... (she always knew how to cheer someone up)
anyways i went to change my grandmas nasty ass diper when i realized something... this isn't mah grandma... IT WAS VOLDAGRANNY!
I sprang too my feet preparing for the duel that was about the take place... i pulled out my want ready to deflect any attack volda granny sent at me... she sent the spell "BITCHATISER"... being a prostitute i knew how to avoid this one... i pulled down my pants and let it penetrate me butt... the only way to fight gay is with gay obviously.
i was still in shock from the painful penetration but i cast the only spell i thought of at the time... "FETUS DELETUS"
VOLDAGRANNY INSTANTLY DIED... everyone knows voldagranny is a fetus its first grade math... this is my story... i have delayed voldagranny but i haven't stopped her... she will try to kill u... just make sure... just make sure... just make sure... to floss ur teeth
THE END
Written by Bryce.rigden
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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