Barney Fife 420 YOLO Swag
Was at yard sale seen old VHS tape. no label. Asked the old pervert selling it "Old Pervert what's on this tape" Pervert said "IDK sexy boi but you can have it 4 a nickel" So i buyed it adn took it home hopin there was a lost epesode of anime or a sex tape or somethin good.
Got it home and put it in and was disapoint to find it was not that but what it was was, was a epepisode of the Andy Griffith Show. Not sure if you've ever heard of it it is like an old boomer show from the 50s or somethin I don't actually know or care. Anyway like i said i was disappointed but then i saw the epesode title was "Barney Fife 420 YOLO Swag" and I though "No way they had numbers back then? Also they knew what YOLO and Swag were? This VHS tape must be hacked!" It showed the cast members like "Andy Griffith as Andy Griffith":, and "Ronny Howard as Opie" but then it showed "Barny Fife as Deputy Swag.
I was like "Oh okay this might be interesting so I watched the epesode:
It was a random day in 1953 or whatever and Barny Fife was walkin down the street and then Team Skull members from pokemon appeared and Barny Fife tried to pull his gun on them and shot himself in the foot and there was a laughtrack. The team Skull guys where like "Yo yo yo want some weed?" Barny shouted "Stop in the name of the law!" and they said "ROFL" and stuffed the weed in his mouth. Barny Fife was then all like "Oh snap son this stuff's the bomb!" He then got all swag and pixel sunglasses came down on his face and he got the bling-gling and he got all gangsta and #thuglife. He said "Thanks for shoin me the light my dudes I'ma go get swiggity swooty with Thelma Lue if you you what I'm sayin I got big ears that means somthing else is big to boi!"
There was then a real sexy scene of him and Thelma Lu goin at it and Barny said "This could be so much hotter yo, I'ma steal Andy's girlfriend Ms. Crump so he went over to the police station. Andy was there and Barney said "Sup hommie" and Andy got all #triggered and said "Where did you hear such filthy language!!!" Barney said "Whatever man I'ma steal ur girlfriend!" Andy said "U stupid! This show is for conservative republicans who punch their waifus for not makin enough children! You can't just come in here and act all hip and stuff we gotsta take you 2 church!"
Andy took Barney to the Mayberry Church and the preacher was some fat guy. The preacher said "Lol I am not Evil Patrixx" Andy said "Barney needs to get his life straightened out!" The preacher said "No son, he gots all the swag he's all set in life. U R the 1 who needs the weed Andy!" The preacher then stuffed weed in Andy's mouth and Andy was all "Oh snap what homies I gots to go and get swiggety swooty with Ms. Crump! I got big hands and you know what that means yo!" There was another sexy scene with Andy and Ms. Crump and then Andy went home.
At home Aunt Bee was in the kitchen cooking supper and Opey was in the living room playing "Racism the Board Game" and Andy came in and said "Yo fam what up in the hood yo?" Aunt Bee screamed and said "NO!!! You will corrupt your son with evil words! You must teach him the ways of Ronald Regan!" Andy said "Who Ronald Regan yo?" and Aunt Bee said "Oh yeah he's not president yet... Anyway NO!!! STOP THE CORRUPTION!!!" she then threw boiling water on Andy and he got #triggered so he stuffed weed in her mouth. and she said "Oh snap son, I'ma go get all swiggity swooty with that whiskey salesman!" Opey the screamed "Ur all BUFFOONS!!!" and ran upstairs to commit suicide. Andy was all like "whatever man" and he went down to the barber shop to get an EPIC MOHAWK.
Then Evil Patrixx appeared and murdered everyone and then came out of the screen and killed me.
You're next.
The end
Written by Church of C'Shan
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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