Benthelooney - The Lost Ben Rants Video
I was browsing through YouTube one day, looking for a YouTube ranter known as Benthelooney. I was never big on ranters on YouTube. My first and last ranter I watched was TheArchfiend. I stopped watching him because I found out he was not just an attention whore, but also a money whore too. And he still thinks everyone that makes money on the internet is a horrible person. What a hypocrite. However, when I first heard of Benthelooney, I was told that he was the worst ranter of all time. So I had to look for him.
I typed up the name and found his channel. He ranted on many things, from The Dark Knight Trilogy, to Family Guy, to even logo changes and changes overall. He sounds even worse than I thought. I then came across a very off rant. It said Ben Rants: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. This was strange because he did not 1, but 3 salutes to this show. I decided to click on the video to see what it is. Maybe it was an April Fool's Day joke. I clicked the video. The video started.
"Welcome back to Ben Rants. And when I was a kid, guys were never pony loving morons." I paused the video. I was surprised to hear Ben say that. Of all the rants I've seen him make, I've never heard him say moron before. I should admit too that I am not a brony. I've seen all of Season 1, but it never clicked with me like it did so many others, but I do respect the fanbase. Another weird thing was Ben's color scheme. Instead of a white background with a blue hoodie and brown hair, it was a red background with a black hoodie and a reddish like brown hair color. Anyway, I continued the video. "Folks, I've seen a lot of bad animated shows in this generation, and many of them make me want to hang myself, but this one in particular pisses me off the most. My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. Oh god what have I gotten myself into. First off, if you're some one who likes this show, then FUCK YOU!" I paused the video again. I couldn't believe he said "fuck". Usually he'd censor his words by saying "Truck you", not Fuck you. I went to get a bottled water. I returned to my computer. I clicked play once more. "I'm sorry, but you all suck for liking this show. I ought to kill you guys." I paused again. I went back to that same spot. I wasn't hearing anything, he actually said that he wanted to kill them. I click play. Again.
"Second. GROW UP! It's a show meant for little girls, NOT for grown ass men! Seriously. Family Guy fans are more mature then you guys. With that said, let's begin. So, this show is about 6 ponies. They're called Twilight Sparkle, god as if Twilight couldn't get any gayer. Applejack, an uninspired country hick. Rainbow Dash, an aggressive dyke. Rarity, a dumb fashion obsessed bimbo. Fluttershy, a socially inept, bestiality loving twit. And finally, Pinkie Pie, a drug addict who doesn't shut the fuck up. What's wrong with these characters, well, THEY'RE ALL GENERIC! Seriously, Twilight is just a mary sue character. She's so boring. And the other characters are generic, unbelievable, and bland. I don't see why they're so well loved." I paused the video again. I began rubbing my face, wiping the sweat off of my face. I then heard a voice. "Hey, you." I moved my hands away from my face, and looked at the screen. I saw the awful MSPaint drawing of Ben looking at me. The video was paused, and he was talking. "That's right, you. How dare you like this show! It's the worst show ever made!" I pointed at my laptop monitor. "You listen here, I may not like the show, but I respect the fanbas-." Before I could finish, Ben interrupted me. "You respect the fans? Wow you're a fairy." Ben then started crawling out of my laptop screen, Ring Style. "You must DIE!" Ben screamed.
I ran to my nightstand and began looking for my gun. Ben grabbed my leg and pulled me to the ground. "I'll swallow your soul" Ben screamed. I pulled out my shotgun and aimed it at the MSPaint monstrosity. "Swallow this!" I screamed. I shot a round at Ben's head as MSPaint blood and MSPaint gore flew at my face. I then walked towards my laptop. I knew Ben possessed this when I clicked on his channel. I shot my laptop to pieces.
Days later, I bought a Mac. I have had no problems with Ben.
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