Blue's Clues: No Clues
I remember the day like yesterday. It was a crisp Autumn morning, With a lot of leaves in the air. It was November, and I was just 9 years old. I was happy, it was Saturday. My mom had to run some errands, and my dad was at work on a Saturday. I had to take care of my 1 year old twin sisters, so did my older sister. I was the only boy child, and I grew out of Blue's Clues when I was 4, cause for some reason I thought it was too "girly". It was only 2001, so I wasn't really surprised of my 15 year old sister suggesting a Blue's Clues VHS.
Oh But there was something funny about it. Steve was saying the title of it in a depressed emotion. The top of the speech bubble was ripped off, showing a red VHS. The back and other sides were all completely white.
"Mommy got this for us to watch," My older sister said.
"Are you sure about this Julie?" I said.
"Don't worry, I got all of our backs if there is something wrong Johnny," my older sister Julie replied.
Julie popped the VHS into the player. Where the "coming soon to video cassette" was supposed to be, was just a timer for when the feature presentation was coming on. It kept shooting to static most of the time.
Instead of the Paramount Feature Presentation that I expected, like on my all of my Rugrats VHS tapes. Instead, it was just the 1995 Paramount mountain, sitting there, motionless. Julia and I talked with each other, thinking that this VHS was just a special.
After about 20 seconds waiting, A weird Nick Jr. logo came on. The Nick was just walking in a straight motion, with the Jr. following along. This was silent, and it went on for 10 seconds.
My little twin sisters were getting tired. we stopped the VHS and put the twins ( their names are Daniele and Hannah.) in their cribs. Julia and I wanted to see why this VHS was so weird.
As we got back to the family room, the VCR said "play" in the top left corner. We didn't even touch play! Anyway, we kept watching.
The Nick Jr. logo was still going and for 20 seconds.
I told Julia to eject the tape. She went to the VCR, pressing the "Stop/Eject" button repeatedly.
She gave up and said, "It's useless!"
I told her to just keep watching, so we watched it together.
The Blue's Clues intro started but instead of the joyful guitar music, there was depressing piano music. Steve said "Hi out there! It's me Steve! Have you seen Blue, my puppy? In a voice that sounded NOTHING like Steve. A shock of static jolted across the screen. Blue was in cheesy CGI instead of paper animation and when the Blue's Clues house door opened, we see a man that looked nothing like Steve, though he was wearing the same clothes as Steve.
Then, the TV bursted with static, and when the episode came back on, Steve was back to normal.
Steve said, "Hi, come on in. Today, we won't play Blue's Clues."
The background kids said in a confused voice, "Why not?"
The screen shot a tiny burst of static, revealing a grotesque corpse of Blue.
Blue was on her back, with her intestines tied all around her. Blue's eyes were popped out of her sockets, revealing green CGI eyes.
I almost threw up, but I held in my puke. Julia was not even sickened by this. That's because she has a thick stomach.
It cut back to Steve. Steve was smiling very big, at a rate where CGI wasn't that realistic with effects in 2001. Steve said, "You kids will learn about DEATH..."
The TV turned to static for a boring 2 minutes. Julia and I talked about if this was actually made by Paramount.
Julia called 911 and she told me the line was cut. We had to watch the whole thing then.
After the static ended, Steve said that he would be playing a special game. The background kids cheered.
He went to side-table drawer. side-table said, "Blue's Clues I'm so ex-"
A loud gunshot rang. The screen changed to black, and Steve laughed in a soft voice.
After the screen faded back, we see Mr. Salt with red bloody eyes, and Mrs. Pepper with white eyes and sharp teeth so realistic it feels like you can touch them.
Steve asked if they wanted any "juice". The couple said "Sure thing". Static once again shot across the screen. I could make out 666 in the static. Julia asked if I saw 666, obviously I said yes. So we snuggled up with each other, waiting for the worst to come.
The episode came back on with Steve saying, "Here you go, two servings of yummy juice."
Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper were in cheesy CGI this time. They drank Steve's juice and liked it.
"Yummy, what's in this?" Mr.Salt asked.
"Cyanide and Poison of course." Steve replied.
"WHAT!?" Mrs. Pepper screeched.
Suddenly, the two were coughing up salt and pepper out of their bottles instantly instead of blood. Julia and I watched in horror as the two alive inanimate objects suffered to meet their fate.
Then after all the Shakers were dead, Steve Skidooed into the picture frame and put both Felt Friends into a wooden boat which there was a lagoon of lava, but as the Felt Friends got into the boat that was on the lava, the boat burned and the Felt Friends burned to death and Steve was happy then Skidooed back.
Steve was satisfied of his accomplishment. He kept going.
Shovel and Pail were in the backyard, and they looked sad, and all they were doing were staring at a live action clock that resembled Tickety Tock.
Shovel said in a 5 year old boy's voice, "Poor Tickety Tock..."
Pail said in a 5 year old girl's voice, "I miss Periwinkle..."
Periwinkle? He was on the show for only one year back then!
Steve came and said in an old man's voice,"And you're next!"
"No!" the shovel and pail said.
Steve closed his eyes for 3 seconds and opened them, revealing bloodshot eyes.
Shovel and Pail screamed and ran away from the so-called "Steve"
Steve sang "Ring around the Rosie" in a creepy little girl's voice.
He found Pail and grabbed her by the handle. Pail was bloodcurdling screaming as blood shot all over the place. Shovel started crying to his sister's death and sprinted away.
Shovel started running to the front yard where he found mailbox. Shovel told mailbox to run, but mailbox said he couldn't, he was stuck to the ground. The voice of mailbox sounded like Steve for some reason.
Shovel whispered to himself, "I'm coming with you Pail."
Steve came and said, "Hello, little yellow shovel, wanna play?"
Shovel answered, "Okay."
Steve shoved Shovel into Mailbox's mouth, with Mailbox's mouth closed around Shovel's neck, with Steve holding Mailbox's Mouth closed. When the two died, Steve sprinted in the house, with static jolting around again for 1 minute.
After the static was all gone, we saw Steve and Slipery soap. Slipery was blindfolded.
"Are you ready for your present Slipery?" Steve asked all fake happy.
Slipery said in Periwinkle's voice, "I'm always ready!"
Steve counted, "One, Two, Three!"
A knife sliced Slipery soap in half. Steve was happy.
"Satan is my king, I must kill myself to make him happy!" Steve said.
Suddenly, the screen turned black, and a rope sound came out of the blue.
Then it cut to Steve hanging from a noose, and it later faded to black.
The Nickelodeon logo came on and it was shaped as a knife. On the handle, there was a small label with the number 666 on it.
Also on it was text saying "-.-- --- ..- .-. / - ..- .-. -.". Julia told me it was Morse Code for "Your turn". There were no credits.
The screen then blasted with static and the power went out.
I will never forget that day, I remember it was November 17, 2001. That was the day our family changed. I got paranoia and had to see a therapist. Nobody except my family believes what I saw. Julia has a condition where she doesn't sleep a lot, and her husband is always trying to calm her down to make her sleep. Danielle and Hannah are now very crude and like gore, they are mean to certain people. My mom is always depressed and hates her job, she wants to be at home and cry all day. My dad got into a car crash on his way to work, he is now in a wheelchair and can't walk.
I wish this never happened. The VHS got smashed to bits by Julia. That Blue's Clues VHS is why my family is like this, at least it's gone now.
I call that VHS, "Blue's Clues: No Clues". It's my nightmare, at least I'm alive, for now...
Originally on Geoshea's Lost Episodes Wiki
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