Clichéman: A Comedy Pasta of Clichés

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I was having a terrible dream one night. Slenderman was watching me from a window at a distant house, as I played my unhacked Pokemon Gold that I got on ebay, when my Pokemon started to die after I got Suicune. Suicune told me that he wanted me to only love him. My character then killed himself before the Lavender Town theme started playing, and Suicune's cry was faint and distorted. I heard laughing behind me. I turned around to see Jeff the Killer running at me with a knife.

Luckily, I awoke in fear before anything else happened. I then got a letter from an angry looking mailman who told me that my family hated me. I opened the letter, and found a picture of a smiling cow. Attached to the letter was a badly written message that said "D0nt l3t th3 c0W g3t u. :)" I threw the note in the trash, and saw the cow in my back yard.

He went up in flames. And screamed like a real person as he did so. I decided now would be a good time to leave for my job as an intern at Rocko's Modern Life studios. The show was just getting popular.

We were all viewing an episode. The episode seemed normal, until Rocko had hyper-realistc eyes. He then killed Heffer with a hyper-realistic knife, and Heffer also had hyper-realistic eyes. Rocko stared at the screen with his hyper-realistc eyes and told us we were all going to die in a hyper-realistic voice. Everybody but me committed suicide, right then and there. That's why the show was cancelled.

On my way home, my best friend gave me a game called Zelda.exe. This was weird, since Zelda was Nintendo and not Sony. I said I didn't want it and gave it back, but he stated that he doesn't remember giving it to me. So, I played it. It looked like Ocarina of Time, except Link had bloody blood that was bleeding bloody blood red eyes and everything else looked hyper-realistic. It cut to a scene of Link raping and killing a hyper-realistic Zelda, and then hyper-realistically killing himself.

Another message popped up on my PS3. It was titled "Dead."

I died.

Then, I got a letter the next day from the same angry looking mailman. Even though I was dead.

All the letter said was "Clichèman Strikes! He comes! Go to sleep! You shouldn't have done that! RED MIST! AHHH! REAL SUFFERING! AHH!"

Credited to SupremeKai4

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