Coily's Army Of Darkness

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Coily is back, and he's more evil than ever!

Coily is eternal; he is not subject to whims, nor is he bound by mortality. Coily has been to Earth; Coily has been everywhere. Coily *is*.

Coily isn't concerned with trivial matters like taking over the universe or collecting stamps. Nay, his aims are much higher:

To ensure that everybody in the world understands how important springs are to our everyday lives

To join Coily's army of darkness, you must:

  • Never abuse springs
  • Understand how vital springs are to our lives. Springs don't need us; we need them.
  • Yearn to have your own plush Coily doll, preferably with a pullstring to play hilarious Coily clips.
  • Refuse to work for any other demonic sprites... *including* Mike's Socks' Sprite. ESPECIALLY Mike's Socks' Sprite.
  • More things if I think of them.

Are you in?


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