Crundlequest And The Suplex God

I am Crundlequest, a peasant living in the kingdom of Larion. I have a pitchfork and nothing else. I woke up and began working in the fields. I saw a woman named Eliza who looked like my mother. She told me that she was going to be married to a man named William.

My first thought was that this would be easy, but it wasn't. The woman screamed and fell off her horse. I tried to help her but I fell too. I didn't know how long I lied there. Then I heard a noise outside.

The next day, I got up and got out again. This time, I found myself on top of another girl's body. She tried to scream for help but I just kicked her in the face until she stopped moving. I felt sick. I felt like vomiting. I felt like dying.

I then decided to take a break from kicking people in the face. Instead, I went back to my farm where I lived with my family. They weren't very happy about all this. My mother was angry at me. My father was angry at me. My sister was angry at me.

One night while I was sleeping, I dreamed about being kicked by a man who had a big nose.

TO BE CONTINUED...