Do you love God?

I'm a total Talking Tom fan much like everyone else, I like the newer games, but I don't mind playing the classics. Talking Tom 2 is my favourite game of the series - seeing a baby Tom tumble out of the box was an absolutely heart-melting moment; I've spent hours on end messing about with Talking Tom and friends, but those hours of innocent fun have since been revoked, and now my childhood joy has died.

I would say I come from a somewhat strict Christian background: my family has never missed a Sunday church service. We would say our prayers before every meal and every night before bed - my parents were devout Christians. I myself always silently held questions about our faith, but usually would remind myself that God's nature is far beyond human understanding. Due to the way I was raised: baptised as a child, daily prayer - I learned myself to live a devoted Christian lifestyle, and I somewhat looked forward to the Sunday church services - hearing and joining in with the songs of praise, listening to the sermons being delivered powerfully and passionately, everything about the nature of the baptist church eventually appealed to me. Sometimes I would return home from church feeling special, enlightened, as if something had come over me and cleaned me; this encouraged me to keep my faith and continue to dedicate to Christianity, maintaining my faith in God.

You may be wondering, why is my religion relevant to Talking Tom? What is the link between the two subjects. That is where the disaster comes in. It was the regular Sunday church service, we were stood singing the words "God is good, God is great." The priest decided to come down to the congregation and spread the joy of the Lord. "Do you love God?" he asked an elderly member of the congregation. The response of "Yes!" was sincere and immediate. The priest moved on and asked another member of the congregation, "Do you love God?" The response was the same - the clear, heart-filled "Yes" of true belief. Then the priest came to me. "Do you love God?" Here I hesitated. For some unknown reason I paused for what seemed like an eternity. Of course I loved God, but for some reason there was a light seed of doubt, that maybe my prayers could not be heard - that maybe, there could be the possibility that our ideas about the omnibenevolence of the Lord could be flawed. I managed to brush away this ridiculous, spontaneous thought and provide my response - "Y-yes." The priest moved on. "God is good, God is great." continued to surround me, but for a moment I stayed silent. What was this strange feeling I had felt? What was this peculiar doubt? Eventually I managed to take control of myself and participate in song with everyone else. "God is good, God is great."

When I arrived home, I decided to play on Talking Ben. Ben seemed like the wiser of Talking Tom's friends, and though I knew when I rang him that his answers were automated and random, they felt more thought out than maybe what Tom would have said. I decided to ring the phone. Ben picked up the phone and announced his name: "Bæhn?" I thought of a question. "Ben, are we friends?" I waited a moment, then Ben gave his reply. "Yes." Something seemed strange all of a sudden, as if this answer was genuinely thought through and sincere. "Ben? Can you hear me?" I rationally knew he couldn't, but there was some kind of peculiar feeling hanging over me that maybe Ben could provide a genuine answer. "Yes." For some strange reason, this had convinced me. "Ben?" I thought back to earlier. The strange feeling I felt in church. The hinderance of my answer to the priest. "Ben? Do you love God?" I waited for my answer, seconds felt like hours. "Hohoho!" Ben simply laughed, almost mockingly of my search for answers. I tried again: "Do you love God?" Again, Ben refused to answer. "Hohoho!" he chuckled. I had enough of Ben's mockery, on the verge of shouting I asked one final time. "Do you love God?!"

"No."

I sat there, staring wide-eyed in utter shock. Ben slammed down the phone. What kind of sick, twisted joke was this? What insanity had I provoked? I threw my phone across the room, I could not stand to see Ben's face. I was filled with horror, rage and confusion; why did I feel this way over a randomised response? I decided to pick up my phone to make sure I hadn't damaged it, but when I looked at the screen, Ben had vanished. In my confusion, I stumbled and turned... and then Ben popped out!

Ben proceeded to kill me 34,879,163.8364736 times, then banished me to the hottest hole of hell. He kicked me, he flicked me, he stabbed me in the ass! Not only was I smacked, but killed too! Ben then made me eat tofu, which I enjoyed as Ben was always known for making good tofu... but then the tofu made me die! My ass was truly shat, beyond the stains of the skidmark of the toilet bowl. Ben then killed me another 436,848.39201 times before I died and went to heaven, but then I fell down from heaven and broke my leg. The ground suddenly began to swallow me up like a hungry fat guy at a McDonalds McNuggetburger place. This swallowing caused me to die slowly before I died once more and went to Super Hell. In Super Hell I suffered great death, death of which was plentiful and excruciating. This death caused me to die before I was killed to death by the death-bringer of great kill, Ben himself. "Why are you doing this to me?!" I screamed in horror. "Uugh." responded Ben, before he killed me dead.

I then suffered death, death in which I was killed like a dead guy getting killed to death by a killer of death who kills a guy dead. I had a death so deadly, that I died, and then un-died before proceeding to die again. After dying, I was thrown into the burning fires of Heck to forever be broiled and watch as Ben murdered everyone I held close to me, until, all of a sudden, I died. This is my warning to you. Do not underestimate such a simple mobile app, or else you may suffer the same fate which I did.

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