EPISODE 666 - THE SUICIDE: Difference between revisions

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[This is definitely a real entry taken from a college student before he was found dead in a forest with 666,666 wounds on his genitals.]
[This is definitely a real entry taken from a college student before he was found dead in a forest with 666,666 wounds on his genitals.]


I live alone, and like any college student at NoTsAtAnIcToWn I am an avid fan of teletubbies.
I lived alone, and like any college student at NoTsAtAnIcToWn I was an avid fan of teletubbies.


So one day I was using my laptop to binge-watch teletubby episodes on dailymotion (youtube but crappier) when I suddenly stumbled upon an episode I hadn't seen before.
So one day I was using my laptop to binge-watch teletubby episodes on dailymotion (youtube but crappier) when I suddenly stumbled upon an episode I hadn't seen before.
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So, I clicked on the video and then a DEMON popped out of the screen and told me that I will die and go to hell if I watch it.
So, I clicked on the video and then a DEMON popped out of the screen and told me that I will die and go to hell if I watch it.


"Lol I'm atheist" I shout back and continue watching.
"Lol I'm atheist" I shouted back and continued watching.


The episode starts out with the four teletubbies - Tinky winky, Dipsy, Laa-laa and Po dancing around a pentagram with whats-his-name hoover robot thing in the middle burning and stuff. But then out of the corner of my eye I saw a fifth tellytubby called SAT TAN walk onscreen.
The episode started out with the four teletubbies - Tinky winky, Dipsy, Laa-laa and Po dancing around a pentagram with whats-his-name hoover robot thing in the middle burning and dead. They all had hyper realistic blood eyes.


"This is perfectly normal," I said.
⚫
"Oh wow he looks cool," I thought, but then SAT TAN turned around and I saw his face was MY DEAD ROOMMATE with hyper realistic eyebrows that spelled out "YOUR NEXT".


Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a fifth tellytubby called SAT TAN walk onscreen.
⚫
I screamed and threw the remote at the TV, smashing it.

⚫
"Oh wow he looks cool," I thought, but then SAT TAN turned around and I saw that his face was that of MY DEAD ROOMMATE with hyper realistic eyebrows that spelled out "YOUR NEXT".

⚫
I screamed and threw the remote at the TV, smashing it to nanometer sized fragments.


My dad poked his head around my bedroom door.
My dad poked his head around my bedroom door.
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"Son, you have interrupted your mother and I's peperami licking marathon. I am very disappointed."
"Son, you have interrupted your mother and I's peperami licking marathon. I am very disappointed."


He is about to leave when I realise...
He was about to leave when I realised...


"Wait a minute - my dad licks salami in his spare time, not peperami."
"Wait a minute - my dad licks salami in his spare time, not peperami."


My dad's face contorted, and when it was finished he looked like SATAN, but... (here's the hyper realistic scary part) satan was ME and I was SKELETON with BLOOD EYES but with NO EYES and I was DEAD and I was YOU.
My dad whipped around and his face contorted, and when it was finished he looked like SATAN, but... (here's the hyper realistic scary part) satan was ME and I was SKELETON with BLOOD EYES but with NO EYES and I was DEAD and I was YOU.


"You shouldn't have done that, CHAAAAAAAAAAAD!" Dead no eye blood eye skeleton satan you me screamed, and I sharted myself so hard I died of exhaustion and ragdolled onto the floor, managing to write this entry in my own blood.
"You shouldn't have done that, CHAAAAAAAAAAAD!" Dead no eye blood eye skeleton satan you me screamed, and I sharted myself so hard I died of exhaustion and ragdolled onto the floor, managing to write this entry in my own blood.
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