FRONT ROW OF A MOVIE THEATER

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  NSFW WARNING

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...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

Old copypasta from 2008


HI, I'M THE GREAT GAZOO. WHILE SURREPTITIOUSLY PLUNGING MY ROSY-CHEEKED CYCLOPEAN ALLY INTO THE ANAL CAVITY OF A 31 YEAR OLD CONSENTING HUMAN OF INDETERMINATE GENDER IN THE FRONT ROW OF A MOVIE THEATER, THE HUMAN KEPT SHOUTING YES YES YES HARDER FOR MORE THAN THREE MINUTES STRAIGHT, FINALLY COUGHING UP A LOAD OF 100% PURE GAZOO SAUCE AND PASSING OUT. THE OTHER MOVIE PATRONS, ANGRY AT THE INTERRUPTION OF THE ADVENTURES OF SHARKBOY AND LAVAGIRL IN 3-D, BEGAN PELTING ME WITH DRINKS, FOOD, AND PHONE NUMBERS HASTILY WRITTEN ON NAPKINS. UNFORTUNATELY, MY OUTRAGEOUSLY DAPPER SUIT WAS RUINED IN THE PROCESS. I NONCHALANTLY PULLED THE UNCONSCIOUS YOUTH OFF MY ENORMOUS EYEBALL GOUGER AND STRIPPED NUDE. THEN, WITH A BESTIAL ROAR, I BEAT THE ENTIRE AUDIENCE TO DEATH--WITHOUT LEAVING THE FRONT ROW. ON MY WAY OUT, IN THE CUSTOM OF THE GAZOO FAMILY, I GAVE THEM A BURIAL AT SEMEN. I GUARANTEE IT.

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