Firebrando Takes Over the World and Kills Everyone (BurningTorrent's 1 Year Anniversary on TPW Special): Difference between revisions
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introductions. I'm getting straight to the fucking story this time. No more bs. |
introductions. I'm getting straight to the fucking story this time. No more bs. |
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Ah... August 31<sup>st</sup> 2015. It's been one year since I joined |
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this god forsaken website, and already my life has started to go downhill. |
this god forsaken website, and already my life has started to go downhill. |
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Procrastinating on the massive pile of homework I have to write some shitty |
Procrastinating on the massive pile of homework I have to write some shitty |
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dimension. |
dimension. |
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Meanwhile... (OMINOUS MUSIC.) |
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"Firebrand. Have you got the dank good shit?" A mysterious |
"Firebrand. Have you got the dank good shit?" A mysterious |
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Caliborn is knocked to the ground and runs away. |
Caliborn is knocked to the ground and runs away. |
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" |
"So... Are you Egbert or Cena?" I ask John. |
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"Cebert." Close enough. |
"Cebert." Close enough. |
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"In a minute, OH YEAH BABY!" |
"In a minute, OH YEAH BABY!" |
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"Well, now I know why his name rhymes with |
"Well, now I know why his name rhymes with rabbit..." The |
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Observer says. |
Observer says. |
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"There isn't one." He stops before quietly adding "Unless |
"There isn't one." He stops before quietly adding "Unless |
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you want to join in with Noah and |
you want to join in with Noah and Evan..." |
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"Oi, guys get ready to go." I step out onto the porch, |
"Oi, guys get ready to go." I step out onto the porch, |
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"Call me, Noah!" HABIT shouts. Noah just looks annoyed. |
"Call me, Noah!" HABIT shouts. Noah just looks annoyed. |
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"Yeah, sure |
"Yeah, sure whatev..." He stops mid-sentence. "IT'S YOU, |
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OBSERVER FUCK!" Great, more conflict that could have been easily avoided. |
OBSERVER FUCK!" Great, more conflict that could have been easily avoided. |
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in space-time. |
in space-time. |
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"STOP SENDING ME SEXTS YOU |
"STOP SENDING ME SEXTS YOU ABSOLUTE...!" He couldn't finish |
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his sentence before the rip closed. |
his sentence before the rip closed. |
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" |
"So... John. You know anything about Dio or Firebrand or |
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whatever's going on?" Allini asks John. |
whatever's going on?" Allini asks John. |
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"SLENDY GET |
"SLENDY GET |
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YO BITCH ASS TO WORK AND USE THE TIMEY WARP WARP POWERS RIGHT |
YO BITCH ASS TO WORK AND USE THE TIMEY WARP WARP POWERS RIGHT ABOUT... NOW!" The |
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Observer shouts into the phone, just as we are crossing the border to North |
Observer shouts into the phone, just as we are crossing the border to North |
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Korea. Surprisingly, we managed to do it just in time. Any second later, and |
Korea. Surprisingly, we managed to do it just in time. Any second later, and |
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it's a good thing, as looking through some of the glove compartments, we found |
it's a good thing, as looking through some of the glove compartments, we found |
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out that this was actually a secret KKK plane. Yup, sure is a good thing |
out that this was actually a secret KKK plane. Yup, sure is a good thing |
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everyone on this plane who was part of the KKK is |
everyone on this plane who was part of the KKK is dead... (Unless I'm making this |
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up to excuse the fact that we just killed a bunch of innocent people, but I |
up to excuse the fact that we just killed a bunch of innocent people, but I |
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wouldn't do that!) |
wouldn't do that!) |
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"Guys, be quiet, I hear something." The Observer says, and |
"Guys, be quiet, I hear something." The Observer says, and |
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we remain quiet. Around the corner, we |
we remain quiet. Around the corner, we see... GOLDEN FLESHLIGHTS IN A SUITCASE!? |
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But... Oh my god! What if they're harnessing energy from the characters and using |
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it to power these special fleshlights!? What could they be using these for!? |
it to power these special fleshlights!? What could they be using these for!? |
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(Well other than the obvious, duh!) |
(Well other than the obvious, duh!) |
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"Well, the characters are giving us some really dank energy |
"Well, the characters are giving us some really dank energy |
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to power these special edition gold fleshlights. We are using the fleshlights |
to power these special edition gold fleshlights. We are using the fleshlights |
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to create a doomsday device, and |
to create a doomsday device, and for... other things..." Firebrand says smugly. |
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"Ewww, noooo!" Tim says, disgusted. |
"Ewww, noooo!" Tim says, disgusted. |
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"Firebrand!" |
"Firebrand!" |
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"DNA DIGIVOLVE |
"DNA DIGIVOLVE TO...!" There is a flash of blue fire. |
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[[File:Firebrando.png|thumb|297x297px|"It was me, Firebrando!"]] |
[[File:Firebrando.png|thumb|297x297px|"It was me, Firebrando!"]] |
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"FIREBRANDO!" Shit. This was going to be one tough fucker to |
"FIREBRANDO!" Shit. This was going to be one tough fucker to |
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beat. |
beat. |
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"Now my |
"Now my minions... RISE!" Oh no, he did NOT mean those yellow |
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little shits. |
little shits. |
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It turns out he didn't, luckily. Or maybe unluckily as the |
It turns out he didn't, luckily. Or maybe unluckily as the |
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first one to pop out from the shadows |
first one to pop out from the shadows was... ANITA SARKEESIAN! NOPE. She was |
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shortly followed by Toki, Big Da Cat, Rick, Morty, Gamzee, Caliborn (Who had |
shortly followed by Toki, Big Da Cat, Rick, Morty, Gamzee, Caliborn (Who had |
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somehow managed to find his way back.), Mutahar |
somehow managed to find his way back.), Mutahar and... THE VIGILANT CHRISTIAN |
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MARIO!? Kill me now. |
MARIO!? Kill me now. |
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"Well, at least it wasn't Comic Sans this time. Tell my Ordinary |
"Well, at least it wasn't Comic Sans this time. Tell my Ordinary |
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Gamers... I love them!" Mooty falls to the ground and I cry for a second before |
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returning to my battle. |
returning to my battle. |
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leader of the Illuminati and therefore, by his logic, Satan, but Jay knew that |
leader of the Illuminati and therefore, by his logic, Satan, but Jay knew that |
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was bullshit as he had actually met Satan and Satan was not Slenderman, he was |
was bullshit as he had actually met Satan and Satan was not Slenderman, he was |
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close, but he was not. As for the leader of the |
close, but he was not. As for the leader of the Illuminati... Well probably not, |
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because the leader of the Illuminati would have better things to do than chase |
because the leader of the Illuminati would have better things to do than chase |
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around teenagers and people who were barely in their twenties. Jay punched VC |
around teenagers and people who were barely in their twenties. Jay punched VC |
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it fails. |
it fails. |
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"EVERYONE FUCKING |
"EVERYONE FUCKING G..." The Observer is interrupted. |
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"CHARGE, MY MINIONS!" A deep voice is heard. The massive |
"CHARGE, MY MINIONS!" A deep voice is heard. The massive |
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doors behind us open |
doors behind us open revealing... SLENDERMAN AND A BUNCH OF MINIONS!? (THIS TIME |
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IT IS THE YELLOW LITTLE SHITS!) |
IT IS THE YELLOW LITTLE SHITS!) |
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The minions storm the room and topple over Firebrando, |
The minions storm the room and topple over Firebrando, |
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causing the fusion to split. They murder Dio in cold blood and |
causing the fusion to split. They murder Dio in cold blood and Slenderman... No, |
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I'm sorry, The Operator, grabs Firebrand with one of his tentacles. |
I'm sorry, The Operator, grabs Firebrand with one of his tentacles. |
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to pay my taxes! My son has been downloading nipples all over! You need to help |
to pay my taxes! My son has been downloading nipples all over! You need to help |
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me! My son's been jacking off in his bathroom! I built him a shed. He needs to |
me! My son's been jacking off in his bathroom! I built him a shed. He needs to |
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stop. |
stop. He... He worships the devil, and I don't like it! I need to go to Kokomo. |
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You need, you need, you need to help me with PC Optimiser Pro! Help me! Yes, |
You need, you need, you need to help me with PC Optimiser Pro! Help me! Yes, |
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yes you will, yes you will. You will help me! Yes, you wanna. wanna give me a hand |
yes you will, yes you will. You will help me! Yes, you wanna. wanna give me a hand |
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them to get to the front of the line. |
them to get to the front of the line. |
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Meanwhile, with the Buttfuck |
Meanwhile, with the Buttfuck crew... Tavrisol, Devdev and The |
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Observer we're planning on getting on the Rapids, until there was a familiar |
Observer we're planning on getting on the Rapids, until there was a familiar |
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voice that resonated throughout the whole section of the park. |
voice that resonated throughout the whole section of the park. |
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probably the most loyal member of the fucking Collective. |
probably the most loyal member of the fucking Collective. |
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"He went back to Brian." Tim and his smart |
"He went back to Brian." Tim and his smart ideas... |
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"Well, now that you're here, I guess we should put our |
"Well, now that you're here, I guess we should put our |