Freddy Freaker

Does anyone remember the Freddy Freaker hotline that was in service between the late '80s to the mid '90s? I do, and I will never forget it.

One fateful day, I was watching MTV. It was the usual. Crappy pop music videos, and specials about heavily dressed rockstars that seemed almost like a bizarre parody of AC/DC. During the commercial break, the screen cut to black, or rather, very dark gray. Strangely, there was a line of blue at the bottom, and the screen was littered with white dots. I heard several snare drums, and a voice say "It's the freak phone, and here's the party freak!" The screen flashed white, and then a yellow creature appeared on the screen and roared. I was mesmerized. I was thinking to myself, "This is the greatest thing ever made!", but I was very, very wrong.

The creature started dancing, and a phone number appeared at the bottom. I said out loud, "I must call that number!", so I took the phone off the hook and dialed the number.

I really wish I hadn't.

It rang, and I heard Freddy say, "This is Freddy Freaker!", although he said it in a pained, sad voice. I heard people shouting in the background, and several other strange noises I would not like to describe. A male voice said what sounded like "GET BACK TO WORK!". It seemed like these noises made Freddy break down in tears. He sobbed hard for a few seconds, and screamed at the top of his lungs "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?". The voices didn't respond. They just kept shouting, and in that moment, I knew that he fucked up. He knew that he fucked up.

Hard. I heard the rushing of footsteps, presumably all of the people in the background. I heard Freddy say "Oh shit!" very loudly, but it was nothing compared to the yelling. Freddy tried to get away, but the disembodied voices caught up to him. I heard the ripping of flesh and the gushing of blood. The people were ripping apart Freddy Freaker as if they were zombies. Then, everything went silent. It stayed that way for about 7 seconds, then I hung up. During the silence, I swear I heard someone whisper "2 Dollars a Call"

More than 26 years later, I can't forget. Just today, I called the number out of curiosity, and I heard the usual "disconnected" message. However, I still heard the voices and noises in the background.

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