Game Pastas Are Stupid: Difference between revisions
From Trollpasta Wiki
Jump to navigationJump to search
Content added Content deleted
m (Text replacement - "”" to """) |
m (Text replacement - "’" to "'") |
||
Line 1: | Line 1: | ||
My name is Sarah Evans. Recently, my boyfriend – Richard – decided to reclaim his childhood by playing some old Mario game on the NES. Naturally, he invited me along to play, and me, being curious, accepted. |
My name is Sarah Evans. Recently, my boyfriend – Richard – decided to reclaim his childhood by playing some old Mario game on the NES. Naturally, he invited me along to play, and me, being curious, accepted. |
||
When I got to |
When I got to Richard's house, he greeted me in a state of horror. |
||
"What is it, Rick?" I asked upon noticing the abject terror on his face. |
"What is it, Rick?" I asked upon noticing the abject terror on his face. |
||
Line 13: | Line 13: | ||
"L-look," he practically squeaked. |
"L-look," he practically squeaked. |
||
I took a look. I |
I took a look. I wasn't exactly sure what the screen normally should've looked like, since I never played the game myself, (chalk that up to parents who weren't exactly the biggest fans of video games not buying them for me as a kid) but what I saw…wasn't scary at all. It just said "SUPER MARIO BROS" in dark red on an orange rectangle in front of a sky background. "Ok. What's so scary?" I asked. |
||
"C- |
"C-can't you tell?" he fearfully stammered. |
||
"If I could tell, I |
"If I could tell, I wouldn't be asking now, would I?" |
||
"L-look! |
"L-look! Can't you see? The words are all – " he started yelling, then dropped his voice to a frightened whisper. " – red.." |
||
"And…?" |
"And…?" |
||
" |
"It's too red! It's almost like blood!" he screamed. |
||
"Rick, |
"Rick, it's, at best, probably a minor technical glitch. Listen, how about we play it, and you'll see it's nothing?" |
||
He whimpered, which I took to be a yes. |
He whimpered, which I took to be a yes. |
||
Line 35: | Line 35: | ||
Richard screamed, and I exclaimed, "Cool!" |
Richard screamed, and I exclaimed, "Cool!" |
||
"W-what do you mean ‘cool? |
"W-what do you mean ‘cool?'" Rich inquired in a stammer. |
||
"The whole ‘hellish |
"The whole ‘hellish wasteland' thing looks pretty awesome." I explained. |
||
"B-but |
"B-but it's different from the normal game." |
||
"So? Still looks cool." |
"So? Still looks cool." |
||
" |
"IT'S PERVERTING MY CHILDHOOD." |
||
"Rich?" I asked, sweetly. |
"Rich?" I asked, sweetly. |
||
Line 51: | Line 51: | ||
"Stop being a pussy." |
"Stop being a pussy." |
||
I continued playing the game, jumping on koopas ( |
I continued playing the game, jumping on koopas (that's what Rich said they're called; honestly, I didn't give a shit), which exploded into blood and gore. I personally found it kind of cool at first, but after a while it got boring. It got even more annoying when Rich yelped every time I killed one of the little bastards. |
||
Soon enough, I ended up dying by falling down a pit. I heard Mario scream in pain. Rich howled along with him, tears in his eyes. |
Soon enough, I ended up dying by falling down a pit. I heard Mario scream in pain. Rich howled along with him, tears in his eyes. |
||
Line 57: | Line 57: | ||
"Rich, what the hell is wrong with you?" I asked. |
"Rich, what the hell is wrong with you?" I asked. |
||
" |
"Didn't you hear that? That scream?" he replied. |
||
"Well, yeah." |
"Well, yeah." |
||
" |
"Didn't that disturb you at all?" |
||
"No. Should it have?" |
"No. Should it have?" |
||
"Yes! That was the scream of a real living being! |
"Yes! That was the scream of a real living being! Didn't you see the look in his eyes as he died? He felt real pain." |
||
I facepalmed. Hard. |
I facepalmed. Hard. |
||
"What?" he asked. " |
"What?" he asked. "Can't you feel any sort of empathy? There's a living being trapped in that nightmarish hell of a game! I felt his pain! Didn't you see the blood on him? The realistic blood? One might say it was hyper-realistic. It was real, like Mario, like you or I!" |
||
He was so invested in his insane rant that he |
He was so invested in his insane rant that he didn't notice when I walked to his kitchen, rummaged through his drawers and cabinets, found a hammer, took the cartridge out of the game system, and smashed it to bits with the hammer. |
||
"W-what did you do?" he stammered. |
"W-what did you do?" he stammered. |
||
Line 77: | Line 77: | ||
"I freed Mario from his prison hellhole or whatever. Happy now?" |
"I freed Mario from his prison hellhole or whatever. Happy now?" |
||
Rich's only reply was to cry, and scream to heavens, "MARIO! NOOOOO!" |
|||
Some days, I have no idea why I put up with this man. |
Some days, I have no idea why I put up with this man. |