Grand Theft Auto: Satandreas: Difference between revisions
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{{note|A video used to be embedded in this page, however, it has since been deleted.}}
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==Prolouge:==
I just want to let anybody who reads this know that this is 100% true, it happened the day i created this page. So don't go saying things like "That is sooooooo copying Ben Drowned" or "This is soooooo unoriginal"; this is real, I either saw these events happen on the screen right in front of my fucking face, or I was just hallucinating because of my dangerous addiction to LSD, WRONG! This is what I saw, if you think I made this up, then you and everything you have ever known doesn't really exist, so shut the fuck up and read what i had experienced! [[User:Raidenist|Raidenist]] 23:50, February 6, 2011 (UTC)
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I was playing my PS2, like i was yesterday because i had that fucking electricity transformer or whatever it's called missing after like one and a half years, so i finally got it back. Today i was playing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas; one of my favourite PS2 games and i had accidentally put my memory card with the best save in slot b. It was only until i loaded the save file from the memory card that i realised that it was the wrong one, i quickly took out each memory card and switched them, while it was still loading the game. I suddenly thought "Fuck! it's still fucking loading, it's probably gonna freeze or glitch up or something!" but to my surprise, it still loaded the game. I was in the Johnson House, everything was normal; that was when i left the house.
==The Beginning:==
Like normal, the black screen came up with the name of CJ's hometown in the lower right corner. Strangely, it took longer to load than usual, but it was a second-hand game, i brought it because my other one was like four years old and scratched to fuck. I then lost my annoyance as the game faded out in front of me. I looked to see what had become; everything i saw was glitched up, kinda like it did a few times before when the game hadn't loaded the ground textures fast enough. All i could see was the outside of CJ's house and a transparent cul-de-sac. I walked out into the nothingness to notice that a message popped up saying that i have to go to Sweet's house, i didn't find this at all weird because it was very early in the game and my next mission was Sweet's Girl, which required me to do the same. Although i normally just activate the health, weapons cheat and jat pack cheat a few times, i oddly decided that i would try and do a mission for once instead of fucking about. I walked around to his house rather normally, the sky at this point was rather normal until i had walked onto my homeboys grass that the sky had suddenly turned from daylight, to midnight. The clock had also been screwy, continously switching inbetween 15:00 to 89:00? WTF! 89:00! What is that supposed to mean? During the time, i hadn't been that alert by the goings on until this happened. I was starting to get rather confused, i continued my path into my bro's home when CJ randomly started twitching for no goddamn reason, i began to shout swears and (jokingly) racial slurs at the screen hoping that he would somehow hear me and get on with the game. But to my dissapointment-he kept on twitching about. I sat for a minute thinking whether i should turn the console off or not, but seeing as i am a fan of video game creepy pastas, i got to thinking that maybe something
==The Scary Shit Part 1==
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it's been a while, and i had finally decided to go on Grand Theft Auto after about a month. I wasn't too scared, but i had my small fears. But it was somewhat sad, as when i tried to use the weird file, it was fine. The glitches are no more. [[User:Raidenist|Raidenist]] 17:36, April 2, 2011 (UTC)
==The Haveth Returned==
Yes, that's right! The glitches are back and scarier than ever before! This is may be starting to sound like i'm trying to advertise something but it's true. I have experienced some creepy shit today on, well, you know! And i am going to type up on my latest experience. So, enjoy and try not to laugh at what i share with you, even if it is somewhat silly (or
==The Misty Mile==
Today on Grand Theft Auto: Satandreas i experienced my most terrifying.....experience yet. Today i thought it would be really funny if i played the game again. I thought to myself "This game is good now, no more of that shit" but hell was i wrong. After having an nice old game of 'Car vs Train' i ended up going down Red Country. What a nice time i had trying to get some fucker off of his bike. You don't see. i have been playing alot of Grand Theft Auto IV recently, so the graphics and game realism seem to be lacking. Of course, as i am not a complete bitch, i eventually got used to that fact.
So here goes. I was driving down a road when ICarly Johnson was suddenly attacked by his enemy crew. Because of how unadjusted i was to the aiming of weaponry at the time, his car blew up. Because he no longer has a 'Car' i went with a jokingly calling him 'L Johnson' from that point on. Get it? GET IT? Just be thankful that his name wasn't
Well, L was obviously no longer very mobile so i got him to walk up the road to the city. Although i thought this would work (remember, no glitches) i was really fucking shocked with what happened next. It was bright before taking his paces up the soon-to-be violent road but as soon as he took his first step onto it, the world around him grew instantaneously black (not a racial joke). This what started the freakiness. As L took even more steps into it, the world became very misty and dank. Next, the ground grew ashy and dull. You may not realise this but this was a bit too reminiscent of one of the most creepiest and equally disturbing game franchises in the world. Silent Hill. Duh!
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What i did now is something i never thought i would do. You don't see, it was like this and sort of wasn't like this. I threw an explosive on the ground and drove the car over it. The car blew up with the bomb and flew everywhere in about 4-5 pieces. Yes, pieces. That isn't supposed to happen, but it did. Now as i was saying before your smartarsieness got in the way, if you could rememeber from the last few moments, i had mentioned that CJ was virtually indestructible. Right. It had to keep it this way if it wanted me to stay in the area. If it made me vulnerable again, i would have died and warped back to a hospital. And so, it had no choice but to give me some way of getting out of the area. Lazy bastards. Now that the car exploded into pieces, because CJ didn't die and was still inside it, the game or "it" as i keep mentioning, let CJ go threw the mirror most likely because the game didn't have data for CJ being effected by the self-reflective abilities of the car and because the parts of the car have bad collision detection. So weirdly enough, the car didn't pull CJ back with it, instead he got stuck in the mirror. It was rather hilarious actually. Seeing CJ with half his body stuck in a wall. And due to his constant body spasms, it was almost as if i was now watching a Gmod video. Speaking of Gmod, if i find out whoever it was who made this game, i have to give them a personal face-to-face meeting with Dr.Hax.
==The Wall==
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The stone structure we previously encountered has finally hit the ground of the cellar. This game would now become really exciting. It was like a whole new game has been set before me. Enough of that shit, the cutscene is over and judging by how it introduced itself to CJ, it only means one thing: Boss Fight. Note: This may or may not be the first boss, as if you weren't to much of a slobby dick, you would have read the part about the Serpent in the pyramid. The way it was defeated made it seem more like a sub-boss.
====Fight!====
Now then, if the game wanted to try and best me at shit like this, it's got another thing coming. As a massive Zelda fan, i am used to fighting strategic boss battles. Because this was so much like Zelda now, i decided to use the weapon i used the most of last. I think it was the Grenade. As this reminded me of the Bombs of Zelda fame, maybe i should use them. I mean, what else would be good at destroying walls?
Before i went and wasted a grenade, i thought about the strategem. What part of it is vulnerable? To get things over and done with, i threw the grenade at face on the wall. It exploded but didn't do shit. To my disapointment, i noticed another one of those mirrors behind CJ. Goddamnit! I was really hoping to have a violent, bullet dented, explosion filled fight. I guess i will have to save that for Ganondorf. I instantly remembered how CJ would go right through the wall if the right conditions were met. I never tried something that time around. I never once had the idea that a weapon could go through the wall. CJ threw the stick-a-shit into the wall and it flew through the mirror, out the other one and hit the back of the wall, damaging it. I got the hint when i saw chunks of plaster fly off of it. Pissed off, the wall turned around to protect itself and another face appeared on the side facing CJ. A new strategic method had to be used. I threw a remote explosive on the ground, stood CJ on top of it and set it off. It didn't harm CJ, so my guess is that i am doing the right thing. He soared through the sky like a roflcopter and soied his way onto the top of the wall. He got up, thinking about what i could do, i threw another grenade through another mirror on another side of the wall. It once again flew back out of the opposite mirror and blew up against the faceless face (Say what?). Another face appeared on it. I repeated this one more time before placing an explosive on top of the wall. Now it had faces all over it. It still wasn't defeated though. This next part was fucking awesome. I jumped back on top of it's hideous face. Assuming it has an underside. I looked up to see that there was a mirror in the ceiling. I got out of my Rocket Launcher, CJ faced that mother fucker up into the air. The rocket flew up into the mirror and up from below the wall and smashed it upwards. Again, the block was destroyed like the car, so it seemed to do the same kind of "glitch". I yelled in glory "To infinity and beyond!" as the block soared upwards and out of the cellar.
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==Playstation 3==
You'll never guess what happened next. Go ahead, GUESS!!!! Just kidding. There is something really important i had discovered about this game recently. Well, i have already explained that the my GTA disc is denser than normal. Well, it turns out that when i put it on the PS3, the game worked. I know that is normal for most PS3 models, that's what i thought. But, what i later learned was that the slim model i have DOES NOT READ PS2 DISCS. So that was it. I had finally figured what has been going on. This is so amazing.
==Why The Shit Is The Shit It Is==
Here's the explaination: It isn't a PS2 disc, it's a PS3 disc! That's why the game was extra layered. While you are reading this, you would most likely be thinking that it's bullshit because the laser on the PS2 isn't strong enough to read the disc. Well, you're wrong. By some weird shitech i have no clear clue about, the GTA disc actually had a stored update on it. Yes, an update. OMFG WTF BBQ!?!?!? It was dated 12th October 2008. What's weird is that it only first asked about the update after i used it on the PS3. That made me theorise something very, very disturbing. Before using it on my PS2 again, a peculiar message popped up on screen after attempting to play the game reading "A new update has been found for this software".......What. The. Fuck?! How is this possible, the game is over six years old for fucks sake. how in the name of Carl "Worth a measly 50 Cent" Johnson is that fucking possible?! I Actually froze for a minute. As i realized that the update i was downloading, or rather ressurecting onto the game. It had a web address. I regrettably tried going on. What was weird is that it came up with.....This bit was seriously too fucking creepy.....it actually came up with the URL for this website, what made it more disturbing was that the page was THIS VERY PAGE!!!!!!! I think i now know that the person, perthing or pervert that created this shit knows what i am doing. Not trying to stop me. It would rather sit back and watch it's own little story unfold. This may seem the ever so pasta genre that is creepy but soon something very creepy was about to happen, something i will NEVER forget...
==The Emails==
A few days after the last incident, i decided to check my emails for once and see if i have literally over 9000 messages. Not to my suprise, i did. I quickly got my attention on something else though. It was an email for someone called "Follower 1" Followed by a long string of binary digits. His message explained some legal crap on his part, as if i would be getting the idea of suing him. But one part of it i noticed said a horrifying response. The email appeared as if i had sent a legal document to the sender detailing a lawsuit. Of course, i have no idea who, or what is doing this so it's very unlikely. The response explained that the sender has regards for any loss of possessions and for accounts of murder. Murder?....MURDER?! What the fuck is this shit?!?!?!?!? I mean,
==The Game==
I finally recovered from that traumatizing shit. I finally decided to play the game again. It loaded up the rockstar logo and shit. What was weird was that it did not come up with the usual game fucking graphics. Oh my god no. My god, if this thing that created this game wasn't a diabolical piece of shit i would actually like, no, love him. The graphics where just like GTA IV. Except the obvious, it was San An-fucking-dreas. Fuck yeah! I started the game up to see my last few years come back to me. I saw CJ appear in a full
==OBJECTION!==
As soon as BJ left the house, i was prompted to go and find sweet somewhere. Strange, this wasn't in the original game. My fears started to creepy back into my mind. "Fuck it!" I thought to myself. After enjoying the ride (or rather, some random white guy's ride) to the marker, a cutscene loaded. I stopped to gaze at the awesomeness that was happening in front of me. I heard the characters voices. It was very fucking creepy. They were the original voice actors. Did they have a part in this then? Fuck knows. Anyways, A.B.C.J. started talking to Sweet about raiding a warehouse. After a long talk, Sweet explained that they would need to be stealthy to succeed. CJ responded with the awesome exclamation of "Fuck Protocol!". Aw, isn't that sweet, he thwinks he a pwice offwicer. Get it? SWEET? Forget it. CJ then proceeded to run in the building. What was really
==Oh God....==▼
▲==Oh God....==
Although, the game was nicer looking and seemed to be hinting at a remake of Los Santos. Creepy...
{{by-cpwuser|Raidenist}}
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▲Although, the game was nicer looking and seemed to be hinting at a remake of Los Santos. Creepy...</h2>
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