Growtopia.exe

Have you ever heard about that Indie platformer massively-multiplayer sandbox pay-to-win game called Growtopia? No? Lucky you.

I used to play it but the community turned into such garbage that I stopped playing. Yesterday, however, I decided to pay it a visit.

That was my worst mistake.

I was feeling bored so I decided to play Growtopia. When I started it up there was no music and the background was black instead of the happy cartoony landscape it normally has. I figured it was glitching out from not being played for so long. The only buttons on the screen were "Play Online" and "Quit" so I clicked on "Play Online." Instead of going to the "Enter Grow ID" screen, it flashed something on the screen for a split second and went to the "Update Available" screen. The image that flashed on the screen kind of looked like a picture of a Growtopian covered in blood. I passed off as a glitch and clicked the update button. It took me to a creepy picture of Hamumu's logo in a really dark room and opened the installer. I clicked the "Install" button and my computer let out a really spoopy loud screeching noise and then Growtopia opened. This time there was the background but it was the City background with all the lights turned off and red sky. I passed it off as a leftover Halloween gimmick and clicked on "Play Online." It then instantly cut to a completely blank room with a nooby Growtopian running around. I wasn't even controlling him! Then the noob obnoxiously squealed "DON8 PL0X I P00R." He kept bawling for donations until I finally snapped and shouted "SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!!" and bought him 35,000 gems and gave him all my rares. Then he went through a black door and was transported to a completely blank world named "SETH." He kept falling and falling for what felt like infinity until he landed on bedrock filled with unaccessable gems and rares. Then, out of the blue, Seth popped up at the edge of the screen. He began to inch closer and closer to the noob, and then all of a sudden he punched the noob right in the face and stole all his rares and gems. Then Seth popped out of my compooper screen and started punching me in the face and then he sucked all of my time, dedication, money, and sanity out of me.

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