Harvey Beaks - Piri Piri The Killer
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I was a huge fan of Harvey Beaks. It was a great show and I creid when it got canceled.
The year was 2018, one year after the show's cancellation. I was able to talk with the show's creator "C.H. Greenblatt". We met at a comic con.
He was happy when I told him that I love Harvey Beaks, everyone else in the con knew him from his other show "Chowder".
As a reward, he wrote down a link on some paper and gave it to me. He said that it's the lost episode of Harvey Beaks, and that I should only watch it at my own risk.
I was so excited, I hugged Greenblatt. He then punched me. I then was in a coma, just like Ash and Homer. I woke up, it was suddenly 2023, I was in a coma for 5 years.
When I looked at my hand, I realized that I still had that paper Greenblatt gave to me.
I drove back home, but first I got some McDonalds meal. A big max with fries and cola.
I then ran home, but I forgot my car which was still at McDonalds. So I ran back to my car, but when I got there, I realized that I forgot the car's key at home. So I ran back home and got the car's key, and then ran back to McDonalds and drove my car. I then got back home and stepped outside my car.
But then, I realized something "Hey, I don't have a driving license!"
I then drove the car to a dumbster, stepped outside the car, burned it and ran back home.
I ran so much, I made Ash Ketshum's Pokemon Journey look short.
I then went on my computer, opened my browser and typed in the link on the paper.
However, while typing I realized something. "Hey, a link leading to a lost episode written on some paper? "Didn't Matt Groening do the same thing with Dead Bart years ago?!" Whatever, I quickly forgot about my realization. Because when I entered the link, a video was downloading! The video was titled "PiriPiriTheKiller.avi"
I was shocked when reading that. "A avi file?!" "Those files are spooky!"
However, despite my knowlage of how spooky these avi files are, me as a big fan had to watch it!
The episode started and the theme song was playing. However, as expected something was off.
Harvey looked sad and angry, his little sister Michell looked like Maggie from The Simpsons, and when Harvey, Fee and Foo were sitting on the tree, Fee and Foo faded away.
That wasn't spooky though, just unexpected.
Without a scene that plays before the title card, the title card already appeared. The episode was titled "Piri Piri The Killer"
When I read that I thought "An episode about my favourite character?!" "Awesome!"
The episode started with a camera shot at Piri Piri's room, she looked mad.
"Harvey cute Harvey mine" She whispered
Piri Piri had a huge crush on Harvey, however Harvey spends more time with Fee and Foo. Piri Piri was mad, she wanted to have Harvey all for herself. So she had to kill. She then pulled out a katana.
I shouted "Hold up, where did she get that from?!"
"A young artist like her normally holds something like a brush or a pencil."
But then, I realized something "Oh yeah right, it's just a cartoon, it doesn't need to make sense."
Piri Piri's eyes turned bloodshot red, she then jumped out off the window.
"This was out of character!" I thought "Piri Piri is nice and she would never hurt anyone!"
After jumping off, Piri Piri walked in the forest, searching for Fee and Foo.
She then saw Foo, who was eating ants. Piri Piri asked Foo "What day is it?" Foo then answered "Eating Ants Day!" To that Piri Piri replied "Killing Fee and Foo day."
Piri Piri sliced Foo's body in half using her katana. Blood was splattering out of Foo's body, his organs were showing, and they looked... hyper....
REALISTIC
Fee was shocked watching her brother's dead body, she screamed very loudly! And then Piri Piri killed her too.
Claire saw that, and she cried because she loved Foo. She then ran away and wanted to tell everyone about this. But then, the Sonic drowning theme played and Piri Piri was chasing her.
Piri Piri was so fast, she kyled Claire. She stabbed Claire with her Kartana. The screen cut to black and I heard a loud screamer. It faded back in and Claire was ded with not hyper but ULTRA-realistick blood.
Even though Piri Piri's goal was to kill Fee and Foo, she also had to make sure that nobody finds out about this. So, she had to kill everyone who saw or heard what she had done.
Dade heard many screams, so he came over to see what happened. And then, he saw Piri Piri with her katana who has blood everywhere, next to her were the dead bodies of Fee, Foo and Claire.
Even though Dade hated Fee and Foo, he was very shocked! Dade screamed and cried like a little bitch and ran away.
He ran to a phone cell and called the police. However, when he reached the police, a katana was coming out of his belly before he was able to say anything. Piri Piri then ripped off Dade's foot and threw it away.
Mikey was sitting on a rock, playing Pokemon Crystal on his Gameboy Color. Dade's ripped off foot was landing in front of Mikey. Mikey saw that, however he thought it was just a glitch, so he brushed it off.
Wade was riding on a skateboard, he fell off and was shocked seeing his older but less cooler brother's dead body. He cried and swore for revenge. Wade saw Piri Piri with her bloody katana and threw his skateboard, a rock, and a bottle at her. However, she blocked all of his moves using her katana.
He then out of nowhere pulled out a gun and shot at her. But suddenly, Piri Piri teleported away. She teleported so that she stood behind Wade and then she killed him. Piri Piri ripped off Wade's brain and threw it at Mikey.
Mikey once again thought it was just a glitch and he brushed it off.
Rooter appeared and was shocked when seeing these body parts. He slapped Mikey on the cheek and told him to wake up. Mikey screamed like Timmy Turner's Dad. He was in pure shock, when realizing that it wasn't a glitch.
Piri Piri then sliced Mikey's torso off of his body, ate the Pokemon Crystal Cartridge, and broke his Gameboy Color. Rooter was shocked when realizing that Piri Piri did this and broke down in tears, because he had a crush on Piri Piri.
"Sorry Rooter, but Harvey's hotter." said Piri Piri Rooter cried and screamed "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!" Piri Piri stabbed Rooter in his chest and then ate his heart.
Piri Piri loved the taste of blood, she went from wanting to kill just Fee and Foo, to wanting to kill everyone in Littlebark Woods, except for Harvey. She went on an absolute rampage, killing everything in Littlebark that isn't Harvey.
It showed a montage of her cooking Princess, ripping off Kratz's tail and stabbing him, slicing Jeremy's mushroom head off and eating it, and last but not least, killing Jackie Slitherstein and using her as a seat just to read Detective Dirk.
"Woah Piri!" I thought "That was savage!!!!!"
After this montage, Officer Feed tried to zap her, but he died because of Piri Piri killing him before he got the chance to. Then Piri Piri had an epic anime battle with Michelle!!!!
Michelle had a Machete and stabbed Piri Piri twice, she also dodged many moves from her, and punched her in the eye. However, Piri Piri then sliced the evil baby in half.
Littlebark Woods Population: 2
Now with Piri Piri and Harvey being the only people alive in Littlebark, the whole woods is now Secret Gordon. Piri Piri took a shower and washed all the blood away.
After that, the camera showed Harvey's house. Piri Piri entered Harvey's room, holding flowers in her hand. But when she entered his room...
Harvey was EMO, and he threw a small knife at her which she dodged. He then said "Die biaaatch!" Harvey pulled out a gun, shot Piri Piri 3 times and threw her out of the window. He then jumped out too and stood on her.
Piri Piri managed to escape and grab a sharp stone. She threw it on Harvey's right eye, his eye started bleeding and he only saw with one eye.
Piri Piri tried to hit him again, but he dodged her moves and broke her left arm with a knuckle. Harvey then used the move "Headbutt", it was super effective, because he was a watermelon head.
Piri Piri was very weakened, but she did have one way to win. She looked at the ground and saw a grenade next to her. Piri Piri threw the grenade inside Harvey's empty right eye hole. Harvey's head then exploded into million bloody pieces, just like a watermelon after getting smashed by a sledg hamer.
Hyper-Frickin-Realistic Blood was everywhere on the screen. It was the bloodiest blood of all bloody bloods. Seriously, I couldn't see anything on this bloody screen full of blood, it was too much bloooooooood!
It then cuts to static for 4 minutes. Why was I sitting for 4 minutes? Because I was bored and too lazy to do something else.
During the static, an image flashed on the screen for one frame. I paused on that exact frame, it was an image of Pregnant Jeff The Killer with his husband Sonic.exe! I puked, it was the worst DeviantArt Horror!!!
After the static, I saw Piri Piri with even more super mega hyper ultra realistic red eyes! They were so realistic, I myself looked fake by comparison. A blood-ketchup-red text displayed at the bottom of the screen saying "I AM A GODDESS"
And all the stuff I saw in the background... it was disturbing!
Ash, Pikachu, Misty, Brock, May, Max, Dawn, Iris, Cilan, Clemont, Bonnie, Serena, Lana, Kiawe, Lillie, Sophocles, Mallow, and Goh were all DEAD on the ground!
Ash, Pikachu, and Brock were shot in the head, their chests were opened and it looks like Piri Piri ate their organs and intestines!
Misty, May, and Lillie's heads were chopped off and placed on spikes!
Max, Bonnie, and Sophocles's bodies exploded exploded with all their body parts and blood being everywhere!
Dawn, Serena and Mallow's arms were chopped off!
Iris's torso was sliced off!
As for Cilan, Clemont, Lana, Kiawe, and Goh, they were stabbed 10 times.
And to make it worse, THEY ALL HAD PITCH BLACK CIRCLES ON THEIR EYES.
I was shocked, disgusted, crying, and just about to puke even harder. But then I realized something...
"Oh wait, Tracey from Season 2 is still alive!"
I sighed in relief.
It then went back to the cliche static. Then it faded to black. I then heard Piri Piri's voice, she said "You're next Bart."
I was in pure shock
"Bart?"
"Bart?!"
"Bart?!?!"
"BAAARRRRRTT?!?!?!"
"BAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRTTTT!!!!!"
It then faded back in, this time showing Springfield. Springfield looked like an absolute wasteland!
The streets were broken, the houses were destroyed, dead bodies of Simpsons characters were on the streets, the sky was grey, and a text displayed while the camera showed what happened to Springfield.
The text said "Springfield Population: 1"
After 30 seconds, the screen faded back to black and the text faded away. It then faded back in showing the school.
It zoomed inside the classroom, showing Bart standing in front of the chalkboard. He looked depressed and held a chalk on his left hand. The chalkboard had a Satianic Pentagram chalked in. Bart then smashed the chalk inside the chalkboard until it broke into tiny pieces.
Bart then looked at the camera and said "Ay Caramba..." in a very depressed tone.
Piri Piri was on her way to the school, Bart was her next target. She was ready, she walked up slowly to the school while holding her katana.
Bart looked everywhere in the classroom for something he could use to kill her. He then checked the shelves of the teacher's desk, and found a sword of all things.
I don't know what a sword was doing in the classroom, but again, it's a cartoon so it doesn't need to make sense.
Piri Piri made it to the school's hallway, she was whispering "Bart Bart Bart Bart..." Bart left the classroom with a sword in his hand, he was ready.
Piri Piri used her katana, Bart used his sword, they blocked each other's moves in the first turn. Then Bart managed to cut off her hair, Piri Piri cried, and Bart punched her in the face.
Piri Piri threw a sharp stone at Bart's leg, his leg was injured and he fell to the ground. On that turn, Piri Piri tried to take advantage of that and stab him, but Bart's reactions were fast and he dodged her move.
He then grabbed the school's trophies and threw them at Piri Piri. She dodged the first 3, but then got hit by the rest. Piri Piri was injured on half of her body, Bart then grabbed her and threw her to a class's door. Bart then smashed the door on Piri Piri repeatedly. After 10 smashes, Piri Piri managed to escape and sliced Bart's shirt off with her katana. Bart then hit Piri Piri with his sword, her body received 3 cut wounds from that. Piri Piri then gave Bart 4 cut wounds with her katana, it's unbelievable that these 10 year old children can survive these painful and very damaging hits.
Bart stabbed Piri Piri on her shoulder, she then stabbed on his shoulder. They then had another epic sword fight in which they dodged or blocked each other's moves.
However, after many times each other's weapons blocked each other, Piri Piri's katana broke and Bart's sword broke as well.
Piri Piri picked up the sharp broken pieces of her katana, and so did Bart with his broken sword. They threw these broken pieces on each other, and a lot of small cut wounds became visible.
With no weapons left, they had nothing else to do but to beat each other up. Bart used low kick, it did neutral damage. Piri Piri then used karate chop, which was super effective.
Bart then did some consecutive punches on Piri Piri. He kept punching her, to a point where the two made it to the school's playground.
Piri Piri then grabbed Bart and threw him to the swing. She made him swing by kicking his butt.
After 5 swings, Bart fell off of the swing and landed on top of a slide. He was sliding down the slide and crashed on a tree.
Piri Piri then ran to him, she was strangling him and said "You will die..." in a dark and scary tone.
"No!!!" I screamed at my screen. "Don't hurt Bart!!!" I didn't want Bart to be killed.
But then, a miracle happened! Tracey from Pokemon appeared, and he sent out his Scyther.
"Scyther, use Fury Cutter!"
Tracey's Scyther sliced off Piri Piri's two arms. Piri Piri screamed and turned around.
"Good job Scyther, now give her another Fury Cutter."
Tracey's Scyther then sliced off Piri Piri's head, the yellow bird monster was finally dead.
Bart thanked Tracey for saving his life. HOWEVER, things then took a dark turn. Bart found a grenade on the ground, he then kicked Tracey's Scyther so that it landed on Tracey.
He then threw the grenade on the two, and then Tracey and Scyther exploded in pieces, their blood and intestines were covering Bart. Bart smiled and laughed devilish.
I don't know why Bart did this, but oh well, it's Bart, of course he does something like that.
And then, a portal appeared and out of the portal came very unexpected guests.
The people who came out of the portal were none other but THE CREEPYPASTA ALL-STARS.
Jeff The Killer, Slenderman, Sonic.exe, Suicide Mouse, Ben Drowned, Smile Dog, Lavender Town Ghost, Grey Jigglypuff With Red Eyes, Red Mist Squidward, The Rake, Sirene Head, Tails Doll, Cupcakes Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Factory Rainbowdash, and that dude from the Russian Sleep Experiment photo were all here!
They asked Bart if he wanted to join their gang. Bart said "Oh yeah!" and he joined them. The Creepypasta All-Stars then used black magic to make Bart a part of them. Bart was turned into Dead Bart, he was a corpse of himself, but with white eyes and photo realism.
Even though Dead Bart was a corpse, he was still able to talk, walk, and fight. After he joined The Creepypasta All-Stars, the whole group went inside the portal to cause mischief somewhere else. Before Jeff The Killer went back to the portal, he said one more thing. "GO TO SLEEP." He then entered the portal, and then the screen faded to black.
3 textboxes then displayed.
"Littlebark Woods Population: 0"
"Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, Unova, Kalos, Alola, Galar, and Paldea Population: 0"
"Springfield Population: ???????????"
The text boxes then faded away, showing just pitch black.
And then... that's it. Yeah that's all, there were no credits, no Nick logo, no jumpscare, it just ended there.
Now, you may expect me to grab a hammer and smash my computer and destroy the episode, since I'm just another cliche lost episode story protagonist.
But actually, I don't want to delete the episode and keep it forever, because that final battle at the end was so cool and epic!
However, because I'm so greedy to the point where Mr.Krabs in comparison to me looks nice, I won't show you the full episode. Though that being said, I do show you some screenshots.
Spongebob me boi, ya want to watch the full episode? Make me som moa moneehh with ya Krabby Patties, and then I give ya the episode.
GAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA.
Written by UmbreonAnimate
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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