Hiding in the Light
She's always there, just watching.
It may not be her there physically, but she's the root of every problem, the monster of every nightmare, the parasite that attaches itself to a host and only leaves when they've taken everything useful.
And there she stands, outside of my back window, just staring there, always staring. Her lips curled into a smile. I'm not sure she's even a woman or human.
Those eyes, dark and hateful, or bright and loving. She's a chameleon and will torture and murder your soul.
Everything you do will come back to her and just when you think she's gone, you turn around and she's behind you.
Always standing there, stuck still. You don't get rid of her, you just try to ignore or learn to adapt.
It's almost like she cast a shield over herself. A loving, magnificent persona of kindness, caring, and love.
None of that is true, she only exists to further her own agenda. She is the id, there is no governing morals, nothing affects her, and feelings mean nothing.
Living in this world, knowing that you can never hurt her as much as she hurt you, that she'll never understand half of what she has done because the rules do not apply to her, is scary as hell.
She exists though, beyond anyone's comprehension she somehow manages to get what she wants and burn every bridge, yet people will still blame themselves and think it was their fault, that they drove her away.
Hiding in the light. She's right there, no one is stopping her. Have you ever seen something so horrible, and you were just screaming and yelling and trying to draw attention to it but no one came to your aid, even worse, you were called the crazy one?
That's my position, that's my burden, that's where I am to this day. It's a silent scream, it's one that she can hear and I can hear but draws absolutely no attention from anyone who is able to help.
Sitting here as she waits outside my window, always there, always standing, statuesque, prepared, about to pounce. It's utterly terrifying, all she does is suck the life out of everything she touches and no one seems to notice or care.
Every day she gets an inch closer to my window and my back door.
Never see her move, when you are looking her direction she becomes stone, undetectable, inanimate. But still, closer and closer she comes and there is no way to stop it, no way to shove her back.
She took everything but my sanity when she left me, and I fear she's back to claim that as well.
And she will win.
Credited to CrimsonRegret
Originally uploaded on September 20, 2012
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