Horrible Pasta

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Once, a man was walking down a bridge, in his local park. It was a large, long bridge, at least about 56 yards long. Under the bridge, it had what seems to be a small entrance to a cave system. He could make out a small light coming from the cave, but quickly brushed it off.

Then, as he was approaching the end of the bridge, a large mass of hair jumped from under the bridge and right in front of him.

"No one leaves here without answering my riddle."

Said the mass of hair, which turned out to be a short, and morbidly hairy man. The man, almost laughing at what he saw before him, somehow kept the laughter in. But, after about 3 minutes of gazing at the man, he let out a huge roar of a laugh, and angered the hairy man. After only letting out 4 seconds of laughing, the man was overcome with immense strength. The hairy man began to drag the man under the bridge, into the cave. The man was being tossed around like a child's play toy, pulled into the cave against his will. Suddenly, the man felt a large pain in his head, as if a car carrying 3 elephants had fallen on it, and lost consciousness.

When he regained consciousness, he was in a small room, which was very well-lit. It looked like a big closet, only without all the clutter of close. He began to look at his surroundings, and soon realized that he was tied up, and extremely hungry. The hunger was unbearable, and his head felt as if someone opened it up with a chainsaw. At the corner of his eye, he saw the small hairy man, and remembered his encounter with the man.

"Would you like some pasta? I'm sure you are famished."

Said the small, hairy man.

He had no choice but to subject to eating the pasta, which obviously had something wrong with it. He wanted to refuse the offer, but his stomach was in control now, and he approved. The hairy man handed him the pasta, and the man began to eat like a starved pig. Once he finished, he began to lose consciousness. He heard the hairy man laughing as he began to go into a deep sleep. The last thing he heard before losing consciousness was

"I have a new ingredient"

July 26, 2008. 6 people gone missing near a local park. People report seeing a large mass of hair around the park. Police investigate, and found a cave system under a bridge in the park. The only thing they found was a note, presumably left by the killer.

"I have all sorts of ingredients for my delicious meal now, so I do not need this cave anymore.

Goodbye, old home. I am leaving this note to let all know that my delicious food will now be available to the public, and I will surely gain profit from this. As for the missing people, you will never find them. By the time you find out who I am, I will have enough money to bail myself out of prison. Goodbye now, I'm off to fame!"

Update: March 31, 2011. The killer has been found. A local cook, James Frekelyn, has been found guilty for killing and using the 6 people as a "mystery meat" for his new restaurant special. The killer has successfully bypassed local police investigations, claiming that he had nothing to do with the killings. The bodies were never found, already eaten. He gained millions of dollars with this new meat. The killer used to be a homeless person who thought he was a troll, but later began to kill. After his first victim, he sought refuge in a cave under a bridge in a local park. He was sentenced to death in the electric chair, and his last words were

"Well, it didn't go as planned, but it was a fun ride while it lasted."

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"I hope you've enjoyed your meal."



Credited to Flatomb878

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