How My Friend Became a Zombie: Difference between revisions
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imported>Dalokohs Pootis Spencer (Created page with "Hello guys. Today I will talk about how my friend, Johnny Abatti, became a zombie. Well, he lives here, with me. I teach him to eat meat, not human brains. He wouldn't kill me...") |
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[[File:Johnny_Abatti.jpg|right|200px]]
Hello guys. Today I will talk about how my friend, Johnny Abatti, became a zombie. Well, he lives here, with me. I teach him to eat meat, not human brains. He wouldn't kill me, because I am his best friend and I know him better than others, so he lose me, he lose everything. The story went like this:
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"Okay, mister..." We stood silent because we didn't know his name.
"Mister La Bete Noire." He lifted his head.
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"Let's play Rock, Paper, Scissors to see what the heck is in this bottle."
I confirmed, and I won. Johnny drinked all the "juice". He was showing some reactions to that acid. It... It was gross. His skin turned grey, hair turned blue, he vomited and left a big pile of shit like he was taking two
I said in shock: "YOU happened!"
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"SHOOT HER DOWN!" I yelled. He throw a shit, the shit flied and she turned around with opened mouth and...
"FIRE IN DA HOLE" Johnny yelled. I was
Well, that shit was landed real hard, so she's been knocked out. After 3 minutes she woke up, said "YOU TWO ARE GONNA PAY FOR THIS!!!", took a bottle shard and ran into us. I grab a pipe and swung to her and...
...CRACK, broke her neck. I didn't want to kill her, so I landed a few drops to her mouth. She woke as a zombie and say: "What did you two did to me? WHAT? I will kill you, and e''t tout le gâteau est allé''!" she ran to me, in inhuman speed and I swung the pipe again and...
...CRACK, broke her neck. Unfortunately, she put her head again and jumped to me. Johnny said: "DUCK, HARVEY!" and I did what he told me. He slapped her, and she fainted.
"Oh, yea! New ability aquired! Falcon punch!" Johnny said.
"Throw her at sewer system. I heard there are crocodiles 'round them."
"Okay- WHOA!" Johnny shocked.
"What's the matter- Oh, God." I almost fainted.
There was some old guy that was like Johnny Abatti: a zombie. We peeked at sewer and he looked to us. Probably me, 'cause he said: "Brains! BRAINS!"
He swam to us, but too slow because crocodile ate him. He pointed at Johnny and said: "Come to Nevada... Follow the sewer path... Take my airboat-"
And he died. I said to Johnny:
"Well, my bud. You can go to your tribe. You'll miss me and... Come at me bro." I cried.
"Shhh... Don't worry, I'll always be with you. I am not leaving!" Johnny said.
"Really?" I asked.
"Yes, now we can make a sewer house. Like tree house, but just at sewers!"
"I can't. Sewers are too smelly."
"Then we need a Portal Gun-"
"No, you don't. We'll see it now." I aimed the gun at myself.
"NO" he yelled but that was too late. I shot myself.
He cried over my dead body. But I came behind him and said: "Hello, imbecile! I am a Walrider now!"
Johnny turned his head: "Harvey, is that really you?"
"Yes, now we can make a house." I said happily.
"Can I hug you?" Johnny asked.
"Sure-"
SLAP!!!
"How can you do this to me, you stupid bitch? I wanted to put some air vents to replenish the smell, not to make a suicide! Great, now what? If I were you I will bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla..." he talked to Doomsday.
Well, that was my and his life. We're still friends. And the moral of this story is:
Never EVER buy things from hobos.
[[Category:Not Sure if Troll or Trying to Be Serious]]
[[Category:WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT]]
[[Category:Pointless Violence]]
[[Category:Rocks Fall, Everybody Dies]]
[[Category:SUPR SKAREY IMAG]]
[[Category:Pages with grammar that doesn't suck]]
[[Category:DIALOGUE!]]
[[Category:Stupid is as the main character does]]
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