I Hate Coffee

my grandma said "wanna try one" and handed me a little round chocolate. I looked at it and went "what a tasty treat, sure I will try one" and popped it into my mouth. comforted by the soft, smooth, welcoming texture of the chocolate, I bite into it. the REVOLTING FLAVOR of BLACK COFFEE is released into my mouth in an instant along with shards and bits of ABSOLUTE PAIN. as if just eating wood chips off of the playground was bad, this tasted like COFFEE. I could feel the splinters piercing into every corner of my oral cavity as if I had just decided to shove a sweetgum tree seedpod into my mouth and bite down on it. swallowing it was a whole other can of worms (which even now I'd rather have eaten worms than this eldritch horror that, in my humble opinion, should not even be considered a food). the rich, delicate chocolate and insultingly horrible texture of the COFFEE BEAN were at war in my mouth. trying to swallow it resulted in shards of actual wood sliding down my throat, attacking all of my senses. I rush to the sink for a drink of water. I gulp it down and it's stained with the flavor of that disgusting caffeinated drink. I was fading in and out of consciousness. but after a WHOLE HOUR, the war on my taste buds was over. though the dust risen by the battle was long since settled, the psychological trauma I got that day will never show me any mercy. I will NEVER accept an innocent-looking sweet treat from ANYONE again.

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