I Was Never Happy
It seems as if the entire world has a blanket over it, blocking from sunlight, blocking from love, blocking from pain. I cannot feel pain right now and I must hurt myself. I had always been a good kid—why was this happening to me now? Every night for the past week or so I let tears fly down my face and cheekbones in sorrow. The grief gradually became unbearable. So now I am writing.
"Take my hand. I'll show you how to live life," she said as I stepped out of a Publix store. I looked to my left to see a fine girl staring at me. She had brown eyes, but they weren't casual—she seemed to make them actually look good. I didn't even know her.
"Well then, what would your name be?" I said under fear of who she was.
"I'm Elizabeth, and unless you want me to call you Mr. Handsome, could you tell me your name?"
She seemed nice and romantic. From that day on we had a very meaningful relationship for just 16 year-olds. We were both very mature and smart, so we got along easily. Until one day she destroyed my heart—but she literally destroyed hers.
She was 17 and she killed herself as I was inside of her house. I saw as she rose up her gun and pulled the trigger at her chest. I screamed across the room.
I can't talk about it much. It makes me sick to my stomach. I loved her.
At night I try to pray to her. I remember one of my prayers by heart, I think it's memorable forever:
"That second date you said you'd be there. You'd be there for every mistake I made. For every death in my family. You were family. You died. But you weren't there. Come back to Earth... you could be happy. I was never happy from when you killed yourself. Why did you kill yourself? You didn't leave a note, or a sign. Why did you leave? I'm not happy now. You could be with me."
But she did come back to Earth. In spirit form--but something went wrong under the process. She had came into me.
I constantly had dreams of being in a room of mirrors, and I looked hideous. I looked like a beast.
I slowly grew into a mentally unstable state. It was terrible.
Your ghost is inside me. You'll see soon.
She's back, but I was never happy.
"I can tell, you're not happy now."
Credited to Beauu
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