I use to be a cartoon reviewer...
hello, my name is foug dunny. i use to be a cartoon critic, i loved cartoons, ever since i was a kid in the 90s. hey arnold, mega babies, carpet munchers rug rats, sienfeld, they all kept me company because i had no friends. they were with me throughout my whole life, as a young adult i even drew rule 34 of them, but not before legally marrying them. but recently all the cartoons have been just shit except mlp.
cartoon network, nickolodeon, mtv, hallmark, all of it just shit. cn just airs teen tits go every day so ive made 666 different reviews on my channle talking about how much i just hate it, nick is shit because its shit, and disney is too mainstream for me. nothing but shit like modern spingbill, teen titans blow, dear white people, its just sickining. but one day i watched an episode of spongebob so bad that i just quit all together.
one day viacom decided to release a never before seen episode of spongebob, they were like " lets just release this because all you little shits wont stop emailing us about it. it was called... RED MIST: squidwards suicide and was apparently made right before spongebob became shit. i was excited at first, i flocked out of my seat halfway done masterbaiting to mlp with so much excitement that neglected to put clothes on.
i walked into best buy still fully nude looking for the newly relesed episode. i went up to the man at the desk and asked if he had it, he looked at by junk while he reached under the desk to push a button and i was kicked out.
i am a sex addict and have been sentenced to 666 hours of masterbation probation. but none the less i got the tape! yes ,you heard me right, a vhs tape. they couldent have been bothered to do a proper blueray, 4k bluray, or even dvd release. is this nick or cartoon network?! already we are off to a sexy start, squidward is playing his clarinet when some scottish man comes to his door, he opens the door and it sounds like the man wants to sell him something, maybe a windows 10 trial. but before he can finish a word squdiward says "NOT INTERESTED" and slams the door in his face, did i mention that squidward is flanderized beyond beleif in this epidsode? anyways before he can start playing the scottish man knocks on his door and before squdiward can say anything, the man vanishes and says "the red mist is coming"... ok ok, where do i even begin!? for one you dont just write out a character like that! also what the fuck is "the red mist" there is no explination to this in the episode. then squidy runs up to practice for his concert when spongebob starts laughing, hes very unlikeable in this episode, when squidwart tells him to shut up, he just starts crying like a bitch.
he then procedes to play when the room turns red and his eyes turn funny, is this the red mist? or is squidward just geting high? i would turn too drugs too since this episode is so boring. it cuts to the concert after that where for some reason everyone is high as fuck. he starts playing and everyone starts booing, even spongebob and patrick are booing (like i said they are very unlikeable in this episode) also, the demoman scottish man is there to again FOR SOME REASON. also the grandma isnt high, the plot is just all over the place and it doesnt help that the episode is so poor quality.
after everyone leaves the concert, it cuts to the LONGEST FILLER IVE EVER SEEN!!!! LIKE SRSLY!!! its like idk 3 OR 4 MINUTOS OF JUST HIM WALKING!!! the only thing that happens in this timespan is he passes the crusty crotch, i was literaly able to finish jacking off before this scene was over! also some creepy shit happened but who cares. then another long molment of filler happens, squidward contenplating suicide! i don't blame him since this episode is so shit. its like this for the rest of the episode too, all because he wasnt able to fulfil his dreams, what a baby. i watched this episode and im not sliting my wrist... yet.
there are some things that happen though, theres one spooky screen where death metal plays in the background for some reason, also squidward has some pretty nice windo curtains back there... can i get them in his will? then it cuts to another scene with his high as fuck face taking up the screen. it cuts to three pictures of dead naked men, oh please.... this is the episodes last effort at entertaining be because after that, god tells squidward to "do it" and he takes the emo way out. it ends with the scottish man saying "the red mist is coming"
well that was just shit... i hated it... A LOT!!! the plot made no sense, it was un funny, the characters were just unlikeable or flawed, and even the porn was hard to fap to. i think this is not only where the show went wrong but its where cartoons as a whole went wrong. now if you excuse me... i have to find something to fap to.
epilog: foug dunny was later found dead in his room from over masterbation.
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