Invader Zim: Born Again Christian
Originally uploaded by MarissaTheWriter to FanFiction.net around March to April 2012
Athurs Hote: Ok guys its been a long time how have u been (lol like GLaDOS1!)
Anyay this story will be VERAY diffrant from ITS MY LIFE, I was gunna do a seekwillcrossover but those FLAMERZ sapped my inspertation so this isa BRAN NEW SETTIN in a NEW CONITINITY!1111!
Also its becos I wanted ITS MY LIFE an TEEN FORTESS 2 to be in the same continity wif a story I fond called "Love Nos No Race".
The romanse is kinna gross but its got cool story twists thatll keep u on the edje of yur seat. =)
SO NOW WIFOUT FURTHER ADOO
INVADER ZIM: BORN AGAINT CHRISTAIN
Chapter !: Zim's BAD Day
Hi, my names Gloria Deschannel I look like Zooy Deschannel becos Im her kid sistar (lol this ibs a showtout becos Zooy Deskchannel was gonna play Chell inna portal movie but it wasnt proved an Chell is like Marrissa but less hot an pretty so Glorio is like Zooy Deschannel but more hot an pretty!).
I liv by myself becos Zooy is out doin movies so I liv alone. I was walkin hoem from skool won day but a sguy hoo was kinna weird lookin hitted into me!
"HEY WATCH WERE YUR GOIN B*****!"
He yelled at me he was reel uguly becos he had BIG HAD an lots of tats an was wearin a wifebeater.
"OMG is he a alien!/1″ I said telepathic to me.
Then the guy took out he a nife! It was alls glowy an with sharp he was gonna kill that kid.
"Stoap u dumb falmer troll!11″ I elled at him to make him stop tryin to kill but we wasant.
"He is a aleen I must kill him wif my nife. My name is Dip."
He gave me da finger and I was soooo mad. He wold pay so I riped my shirt of an a ton of pepole saw my big squishy chests which was embarsin but for a good cause.
"HEEELP THAT JERK IS TRYIN TO MOLESTRAPE ME!i!o!" I screemed like screemin screemer that screems wile screemin so lots of pepole takeled Dip an beated him up.
But then I rembered that I rwas topless now an evven more people was starin at my boubilles.
"OMG u guys are such pervearts!"
So I ran fast to my homse an got dressed an got a bibelt out.
(AN: Im not a cristchain in reel life, im a aneurism, so if I get sum stuff bout them rong dont blame me I DONT WANT ANY MOR FLAMERZ!)
The bibel is my speshal book becos Im relay Christian an dont do sex or smoke drugs an beer an always help pepole lik that alen. I reed the entire bibal ever nite so I no all the words by hart.
"Jeesus words will kalm me down." I said an readed my favrat part were the bad guys putted nails in him but HE DOSENT CARE becos JESOOS IS HARDCORE!11
Wile I was reedin I herd some noses comin from don the street so I looked oat the windo an a saw…
Zim getting killed almost by Dpi! I ranned down an taked the crossifix neklase I have an stabed it thru Dips neck so it cam out the otter side.
He ran way but the crose came out but it was all bloody an covered in yucky gross stuff so I didant put it back on.
"Are u ok?" I held ot my hand to the alium boy. "Yes I am now my name is Zim u saved my live." I huged him an he got reel happied becos of my big squishy chests.
"Im Gloria Deschanel nice to met u Zim." Zim o-mouthed at that.
"DESKCHANNEL LICK THE FAMOS MOVEE STAR!"
He was all in shok an cudant wate to tell Gir bout how he metted me.
"No lol thats my sistar Zooy." Zim got more calmed down an saw the crossifix in my ham.
"Whats that ting?"
"Oh its a crossifix lik what the bad guys put Jeesos on becos Im a cristian." Sum teers went in Zim eyes from my story becos he saw Jesun an it was all bloody from the fite.
"Thats terribel whyd they doit?"
"Becos he onlee helped good pepole an gave them arms an beer but spesal beer that didant make them DRUGGY JERKS!212!"
Zim thot bout this wile I got a call on my cell fone.
"Hey gurl wanna play sum Portal 2 wif me?"
It wass my best sistar Zooy (shes in Holywood makin movies so we only text an play games lick Portal 2).
Wheatly is my fav becos hes got a sexah british aksent an is relay nise an stuff (AN: In this story, in teh game Wheatly didt go evil he met a other test subjekt named Marrissa Roberts an dey fell in love lol geddit?)
"Surry sis Im helpin a aleen." I tellyed her back. Zim was just starin at my crossifix like WTF. "OK mayeb we will play latur, btw Im comin to visit soon with my new boyfrend I think yull like him LOL!" She was lolling an hunged up so I did 2.
"Um, Marrissa u wanna cum over to my hose I wanto heer more abut Jesos if thats ok."
THIRD PEROSANAL POV
Meenwile Dip got hohem all angry an bet up. Gaz was alsready home becos she got caut doin the do wif a bunch a guys in the bath room an got expulsioned.
Eh scrootched his hed it was gettin more big sinse he got to hi skool an felt a weird bumps there. "Hmm…" He throated but didant care. Gaz seed from her seet that the hare gotted part from Dips scratch an saw that the bumps was shaped like… 666!11111!111
To be continued!
So wat do you think guyz? An GLORIA DESCHANEL IS NOT A MARY SUE shes not based of me at all becos sehs kinna neeve an super Christian.
Also is Zim uswin Gloria or will he relay see the powar of Christ (hehe)?
An how is Zooys boyfrend? Find ot next time!
Thanks guyz onlee a few of teh reviews were FALMERS tso its a big improve! To some of the REEL FANS hoo reivewed heres sum responds:
Gilrdog123: I dunno hoo Biscuty Goodness is but Gloria wasant listed as one of the charitures for some reson so I put that one instead becos it sounded cool!
Invader Fenoix: Thanks for teh info! Fro now on Dip is DIB an abut Jesus yes he did gived pepole spesal beer he made it from water1!~! Oim sorry bout the crossifix I thot it was poetic justace or somethin but if its not good Gloria wont use it no omre. Also she wont becos the last time made it all blood an gross an thats stuffs hard to cleen.
S or what ever, I SAID GLORIOS NOT A MARY SUE BECOS SHE INSANT LICK ME SHES SUPER CHRISTAN IM A ANYUREMS AN SHE IS KINNA NAEVEE!1212121!222111!
Iluvmarrissathewriter: This is a SPERATE CONTINITY so demonan is just a pretend cartoon =P.
INVADER ZIM: PORN AGAIN CHRISTAN
Chepter 2: Lessuns of the Lord
We got to Zims hose a few mins later, it was relay tall with toobs an funny elf things in the front lone.
"Welcum to my commode!" Zimmed Zim he was all prod of the strange hosue.
The opened an… "OMG THAT IS SOOO COOT!1212~!" A littel green dog camed out he was the cootest thing I ever seed.
We both lolled at Girs funny an wents insyde. "So ur relay an alien?" Zim taked his fase of to see he hads atneenos an red eyes.
"Yep its okay to tell u becos u saved my live."
"Aww how sweat of you!" I kizzed him on th echeek an Sim bloodshed.
"So reddy to lern bout Jesus?" Zim nodded wit head so I telled him the down lo.
"1 day befour anyone was alife there wus a girl named Mary (but her last name wasant Sue LOL) an wen she was sleepin God came a nocked her up an the babby was… JESUS!111″ Zim o-mouthed in all the shok from this.
"So God date rapped her?" He sayd.
"No lol tehy never went on a date!
So the baeby was born Jesus an he had powors so he helped all the goood guys an not the bad ones so the bad ones put nailz in him but Jezus didant care becos HES SO HARDCORE!111! Then eh died but came back on Eastur an there a bunny somwhere Im not sure to go to heevan."
"Wow tahts relay cool whats Jesus doin now?" Zim was gettin into the lesson bu Gir didant care he was playin wif a piggy. "A bad guy called the Anthricyst will sho up an kill everone unless Jesus comes bak so when the Antiracist reveels himself hell return to fite for us!121″
Zim an Gir an the pig all o-mouthed from the talk bout the Antipode.
"Thats 1 bad soundin dood who is he?" I shooked my hed for no. "Onlee he knows me ight not even ben borned yet."
Zim got scarred an holded Gir they was shakin all fritened. "Dot worry guys Jesoonll save all the good Cristans I dont bout the otters tho…"
Zim stepped hugin Gir an stooded up to full mast.
"Gloria Deschanel I want to becom a Christiun!" Teers went in my eyeds I was soooo happy that Zim had seen the lite of the Lard.
"Ok sinse I reed the hole bibel ever nite an no it all by rember I can make u a offisal Christian but we need sum stuff from my hose first."
Gir joomped up happy an barkled becos he was dog I thot.
"I wanta ot be Christan 2." I smied sadly. "Surry Gir but dogs dont have sols so u cant be a Crischain."
Bu his skin camed off Gir was… a robot lik Wheatly an GLaDOS!11!31
"OMG hes even more cooter now!11
Lets got Christian."
We goed to wards my hosu but sum peeps were in front off it they had mean tats an peercins an were smokin drugs an beer.
They was…. THE TEEN RAGERS a gang of bullays hoo hatted Christians an always piked on me even worse than the FLAMMER TROLLZ.
"Hey b***** wat u doin wif those freeks?" The leeder (AN I dont have names for the Teen Ragers yet so if u wanna be 1 just say inna reivew ok guyz?) tooked out a drugs.
I wanted to use my crossifix on these druggy jerks bu I rembered that is a sackreligon (an it got alls bloody an gross last tim) so I didant.
"Look owl Gloria he a gun!1!" Zim screemed wit lowd.
These druggy jerks was gonna kill us or rap us or make us drug an beer wif tehm an all is bad becos im Christian an cant done that stuff!
Then a guy…
TO BE continued!
Wow that was sum INTENSE dramackshun in there.
Find ot next time!
N: Kay boyz an girles im here wif da next chaptah.
INVADER ZIM: BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN
CHaptER 3: The Strangur
Those JERKS the TEEN RAGERS was bout to nife an rope us!
"Get reddy to die you uguly Chrissan b***** an yur little green frend two!1″ Said the liter "PrettayDog" seh was called that becos shes a bestial an licks dogs the rong way.
But jusb efore they cud kill us…. A stranger camus (book refronce lol) up to us an made them stop.
He hads a nife an spiky back hare (but only little hare) an a shrit of stripful colores.
I o-mouthed at the stranger he wax kinna goot lookin an he had saved are lifes I wonnered if was a Christain?
"Thanks for savin us mistar…"
"My nam is Jonee but u can call me Nee lol yur very hot an pretty."
I bushed at his complilament but Zim was kinna jeloose lookin. "Gloria I thot we was gonna Christan me not flirt wif a guy."
"U guys are Christuns? OMG I am 2! I am onna Gods spesal solders I kill the bad pepoles an Im serchin fo the antichris."
Wow, he was a reel catch I was thinkin tote me an hes a solder for GOD
"Why dont u coem with us to my hose an we can Christan Zim togetter?"
"Lick a date or somefin?" Nee asked an Zim gotted mad but I said. "No it's a important religuous dooty but maybe afferwords wink wink." Nee o-mouthed so we goed to my hoem.
Insyde was a alter an a crossifix an a potium were u cold give salmons an sum poos to sit in.
I piked up me favrat bibel an gifted to Zim.
Zim holed ut the bibel an was all impressed wif it. "Woah Gloria is mor thik than all the Harry Pottor books how can I reed it in one nite like u do?"
I lolled an etsplained "U have to be a relay powerful Christian to reddit all in one nite u need to start off slow first."
Nee gaved him a crossifix wile I got on da postium.
"Are lord God we am here 2day to make Zim an Gir inot reel Christians. Zim are u reddy?" Zim nodded with head.
"Ho bout u Girl?" He nod to. "Kay… THE POWAR OF CHRIST COMPELSE U! THE POWAR OF CHRIST COMPELS U!"
Nee standed up an started to chunt with me so it got done fast. "Congrats Ziim yur now a true Christen."
Zim o-mouthed an went cry on the floor but iwas happied cry becos he was a reel one now. "Thanks u Gloria I feel compete. I must go hohem an prey.
They leaved so it was jus me an Nee.
"So ho bout the date?" I bloodshed all over teh cheekz an we wended out. We was goin to my favrat restront: Red Lubster.
"HOW CAN I SERF U!/2″ Screemed the water he was havin a bad day becos his wife leaved him an his kids did lots of pot an crak an drugs an beer so they droped ot of skool.
"Ill have the mozrella stacks pleese." I didant get mad at rood water becos a reel CHristan has to turn the otter cheek.
Nee was ver impress "Gloria u have such Christian." The water brote the mmozzellera stacks an we sturted eatin em but the cheese got alls stuck so we keeped etin an got closer an closer an closuer wen…
"OMG THIS BLOODY SODDIN PLASE IS THE WERST EVAR YOU WANKIN BURGERS OH GOD SAFE THE QUEEN!1111″
IT was…. SIMON COWBELL!1!
He was grabin Lobsters from teh tanks an throwin im at pepole!
"Go way Simon Cowleb no one liks u no more becos yer a sellot hoo lefted Amrican Idol for a dum ripeof." A guy yelled. Nee standed up an graped his nife I got scarred at dat.
"YOU BLOODY HELLSODS ARE GONNA PAY ILL WANK ALLA YUO!1!" Simon britished then piked up his stake nife an braned it thru the Guy Who Yelled At Hims fourhed.
The stab made lotsa blood an branes go every were an in my drink it was SOOO GROSS
"Now u done it." Nee doble jumped up over tabels an landud on Simons.
Simon was disbleef at Nee an grabed sum hot watur from the kitchin an pored it on Simons face so he got all burnded an stabed with Nees nife.
"God absorbs u of yur sines."
Nee prayered over the Simon Cowbell ded boady corpse.
"My hero!" I swaned an kisst Nee on teh cheek an he bushed.
"Aww it swa nothin."
Back in DA CITY Dib was relay angary he cudant Zim anywhere.
But eh had a noo plan the Swallowed Eybebells was not help him so he was gonna jone a new groop to kill Zi an his stupied frend Gloria Deschannel wif.
"Hi my names Dib I want to join yur gang." ProotyDog, the liter of da TEEN RAGERS happied at new member an shacked Dip's hand.
"Welcame abort, but first u must…"
TO BE CONTINUED!
That was sum AKSHUN PACKED chaptar huh! The nest 1 will be more on the down lo to earth. Also if anyoen can gess what teh part wif Simon Coleb is based of than u get a camo!1111!
AN: That BALF WORLD Bloog was givin story spollers for this chapter I dunno how they noed it so STOP SPIN ON ME U FLAMTER TROLL!
ALSO I chanjed my mind this chapter ill have a lot of akshun 2.
INVADER ZIM: BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN
CHAPTER FORE: Battle for Zooy
Its had been a few days sinse I Christiened Zim an we hadont see eech otter, I was bissy wif Skool an bakin out wit Nee.
I was playin Portal 2 coop on my praystation (lol geddit, its lick a spesal Christan playstashun for Christians that only Christan pepole can use it that has crossifixes an stuff on it).
"So wen are u comin to visit?" I saked to my sistar Zooy who I was playin. "Me an my BF are on a plane now SUPRIZE!11″
I o-mouthed it was soo eksitin to see Zooy a gain an find ot who her boyfrend is.
"Cum on down to the areport to meet us an be sure to bring ur frends I cant wate to meet them!" She huged up the cell fone so I went ot to bring Zim an Nee. Firsti went to Zims hosu were thigns was VERAY diffrant than wen I last seed them. Alls the elf things was replased by giant crossifixes wif happied Jesoss on them an they waved hi.
"Hi Goloria Ill be owt in a minuet." Onna the Jesus sayd I gess it was a speeker or sometin.
Zim came ot the door flowed by Gir but Zim had gotted his antennes peersed an had crossifix earings in them now.
"Lol dose anyoen no were Nee lifes?" Zim an Gir nodded no with heads this wud be diffulct.
I thot bout were I cold find him wen gess who showed up? It was… Gaz!2!
"Hey did u guys see Dib he hasnat come hom in a long time an im worry of him." She was shakin with scare.
"Hes ben crazy lately an Im worry hell do somethin bad an rahs." Zim angried at the menton of Dip's name.
"Dont worry bout him hes just a jork." Zimmed him an I nooded for backup.
"BTW has u seen Nee were lookin for him?" I addled an Gaz thotted for a minuet then… "Oh yah hes over there." She ponted to a conventence store an I cold see a fite was goin down.
Nee was insyde killin sum gangers who were tryin a rob the plase. Theey was… the Teen Ragers!
"Gloria get ot of here, these gus are drugged up an lethal!1″
Nee taked out sum trhowin stars an stared them at the Teen Ragers so a cople died but most didant.
"Uts 2 bad u wont get to see are new member sinse well kill u first." PrettayGood lolled an me an Nee an Zim all o-mouthed. "New mumber?" "Yes he is doin his initashun now!"
Then I goat a call on my cell fone it was…. Zooy!111! "Sis help a big hed guy is tryin to kill me an my BF at da areport cum qwik!11″
This was relay bad news Nee loked at me an said "Go an safe her Gloria Ill hold of these b******." So Zim n me an Gir wented to the areport. "Not so fast b****!1!" Prettaydok excreamed an throwed a motzletov coketail at me.
Zim pooshed me ot of way so the expold hit Gir instate.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO GRI!1221!1111″ I sadded but Zim graped my hand "We have to go NOW." So we dit.
We ran down streets an I was textin Zooy to loachasun her but we was goin to slow. "Wate I have a idean." Zim ranned of an came back with… his VOOT CROOSER!1
"We can use this to find her fast." I jumbed inside the Crooser an we wented more faster than the sped of lite an were alreddy at the areport.
There I sawed it:
A plane had crushed inot the side wall an there was tons of ded dudes an blood an guts an gross an Zooy was tied up wif a swatchblade at her throte held by… DIB!211
"I shuda nown that f***** wud do sometin lik this." Zim smassed his fist on da dashbard but that was a bad thin becos it made the Crooser fall don to Earth!
"Well well wall, if it innit Zim an Gloria Deschannel, yur just in time to see me kill yur sistar an become a full TEEN RAGER." Dib lolled with evil. "Gloria stop its trap!" Zooy yelled but I didant care I had to safe my sistar so I ran fastly up to here an steped on a rope that made big anvul fall on Zooy to kill her!2
"NOT SOO FAST U BLOODY WONKER!2!1″ Britished a guy an he shoted the anvil so it move an didant hit Zooy. "Noone soddin messes wif my GIRLFREND!" He was sooper tall an blonde wit glazes it was…. STEFEN MERCHANT!
"OMG sis yur BF ibs Stepen Merchult?" Zooy notted "Yep I told u wud lick him lol."
Steven got a angary at Dib for tryin a kill his girl. "Allrite u bugger bloke get reddy to wankin PAY!"
It was Nee an the Teen Ragers! "Dib u didant killer so u loose yur ination." PrettyDoog said an they charged at Dip to beet him up so Dib ran way an we wased safed. "I tole them bout Dib so we made a temprary allience, Ill defeet them latur." Nee etsplained.
"My Heero!" I raned up an smooched Nee all hard but Zim mad sum gaggin noses.
"That was buggerin cloose mates we need to get otta here." Stephen britished so we alls got in Zims Voot Crooser an droved of.
Meanwile! Dib was all bet up at the Teen Rager hidout, the otters were all druggin an beerin.
"U onlee got one more chanse Dip or well have to kill u." PrettyDok burbed. "Dont worry I gotta backup plan, theres a football game soon an Zim will lofe it "to deth" lol!"
Alls them started lollin an Dib noo soon he wold get final revenge…
To Be Continued!
Whats Dib planin at da game? An dose Zim have a deep an dark seekrit? Did Gir alive? Find ot next time!
AN: Sinse noone mentoned this in there reivews I gess they didnt get it. Stephen Merchan an Zooy Deschanel are a copple becos Zooy was gonna be Chell in da roomer, an Stpehen plays Wheatly so its lick Chell an Wheatly are a cople an sinse Chell is like Marrissa but less hot an pretty its lick Marrissa an Wheatly are a cople!21
Invader Zim; Born Agan Christian
Chapter 5: Christan Charity
"Wow sis yur frends are prettay cool." Zooy said as we was ridin in the Voot Crooser.
"Yah there all bloody brillunt blocks!" Stefen smerched.
"Espettally yur new boyfrend he is soooo cool why didant u tell me bout him?" Zooy pointed at Nee who just smied an said "All in a das work, maam." Then Zim made um growls an 'angry faced' Nee.
I was tiered for Zim actin so strange round Nee so I yelled "OMG Zim wats ur problem?" He was bout to answer wen… "OH WEMS I FORGOTE!1111 There a football game tonite at Skool an Im the qwaterbak." Zim cried. "We will be lat."
"Dont worry Zim we have to get u there on tim its are Christian Charity!" I said and Stevphen lolled. "LOL u Christians an yur rools."
He an Zooy was aneurisms an didant Christian that much
We reeched skool just in tim for the game Zim got ot to run to da jim room an we got sum seets.
"Wow these games keep getting better every year." Zooy cheered as the teems ran out.
"My son just keeps gettin stronger an more braver every day." A tall labcote man said wile pointin at onna the playas.
I looked careful to see an the playa was…. DIB!22!1111
Dip was bein the hed kicker (becos hes got a big hed lol) an was bout to punt da ball.
But it was seekrit trik! He was gonna punt the ball inot Zims man balls to impact them an kill Zim.
I thot sumthin was little bit supishus bout Dib an maybe he was planin sumthin.
"Thats the bloody sodder hoo tried to kill my girlyfrend!" Stephen was soooo mad at seein Dib gain so I said. "Hung on I think he mite be up to sumthin."
The game was bout to benign an Dip helded up the footboll.
"HEY ZIM THINK FAUST!111″ Dib creamed an pumpted the ball at Zim so hit for a kill. I saw were the kill was goin a happen so I jumped of the bleechers an graped the ball.
But my momentary was too strong so I floo sum far lenths an went over the goal poast so I scored a touchdown for da home teem!
"YO GO GLORIA HURRAY!112111!" Zim started cheerin an all the pepole did too an Zooy was wavin her amrs an Nee did a woff wistle. Dib yelled sum an kiked grownd an Prettay Dog elled from the bleechers "That was yur last chanse Dip now yull never been a TEEN RAGER."
Then Dibe felted the scar on his neck from were my crossifix stabed him.
It had crit his juggler vane an remberin that made him even more blangry.
He taked of a gun an say to Ragers. "Wate I can still kill sumwon." Then he shooted THE GUN an it hitted sumwon an they screemed an died. I loked an saw it was… GAZ!11111!
"No my dotter sun yur too strength." Proffer Mambrane said with acuse.
Dib didant care an shooted him to. The awdeense peeps were to scared to do anythin.
"Alrite Dib now yull pay I got Gloria to teech me to be a Cristan so I cold get Jezus powers to kill you wif!" Zim goat his crossifix eerings out to use like shurikens an throwed tehm at Dip. (AN I no that fitin with crossifixes is bad relgion now, but Zim was just usin it to get powers to fite Dibl with so its kay)
I o-mouthed at Zims words, he was usin me an Jesus just to revnage Dib?
One crossifix hitted Dib in they eye an the eye explodd an got blood an eye all ever were. "YEEEOUCH ZIM YOU G***** F******** B****** IM GONNA F****** KILL U!12111!"
Then the otter throwin crossifix hite Dips hand soooo hard it riped of.
"Ill be back." He ran way to recooperate an think off a new plan. "Thatll teech him." Zim doosted his hands off an I came.
"Oh hi Gloria did u see how I revnaged Dib?"
"Yuo b***j*** u never was a reel Christian at all u was usin me!" I angried at him.
"I needed to revange Dib an u sad Jesus had powors its nothin personal." Zim had done reel bad so I take dot my crossifix an slapped Zims cheek wit it so he had a big bloody crossifix mark on his cheek for ever.
"U bretayred me, u betrayed Nee, an worse of all u betrayed JESUS! I hat you Zim go way for ever!111″
"Wate Gloria I love u!" But I had alsredy left. Zim felt don an cried.
Affer I got home I sitted on my bed an was sad. Zim had used an abused me an Jesus too.
I put on sum sad goth emo muzik like Avril Lavinge an MCO an cried.
Zooy an Steven was bunkin downstars wen I heard…
"OMG STEFEN YES YUR LIKE A SIBARRIAN TIGER!111!" Zooy screemed ot an I was sooo grosed out.
"Hey u guys shout up this a CHRISTIAN HOSE!11!" But there was jus more gruntin an groanin so I turned op the muzik an cryed more becos now nothin was bein Christan no more.
That nite Dib was at his hose it was all empty now sinse killin Dad n Gas an he was a robot hand an eye pash now.
There was nock at door so Dib went to answer ite. He open door an saw a guy on a flame bike he had lethur cloths an skelton head that was on fire. It was… GHOST RIDER!11
"Dip, thy art… GHOST RID3R!22″
Dib o-mouthed Ghos Rider was at his hoem? "Ghost RIdder? Yur more lik a Nite Rider lol." Ghost Riter was not amoosed tho, an said "I haf come with a massage from thy dark mastar."
It was shokin noos what wold Ghost Rider want wif me, Dib thot?
"Thou dost be the antithesis! U will start to apocelces an kill the world!" Ghost Dier lolled evily.
"Bu how I do that?" Dib was exited but kinna scarred from the revlation. Now he had powors to get back at Zim an the Teen Ragers AN Gloria Deskchannel!
"To make it u will haf to kill the secon conning of Jesus… the second comin is…."
TO BE CONTINUED!
So much char develtoment in this chapter, next one Im gonna take a brake from the instense an do a veray spesal one thatll be more diffrant.
See u guys next tyme!
AN: OK I herd those flamerz are bak an MDTin my storay
This is a VERAY SPESAL EPISOD CHAPTER bout falmer trollz an why its bad kay.
Invader Zim: Bored Again Cristian
Chapter Six: Sunday Skool Musikal (lol)
"GEEERRAOROAROARLLW!" Zimmed Zim ever thing was rooned!
Ihs plan didt work an Gloria hatted him now. He locked atta bibel that I gifted him an rembered bout what Jesus did for all da goode guys.
Then the Allrighty Tallests came on the sceen. "Zim hows yur misshun goin?" Red aliened wile Purpal roughed him up.
"OMG My tollests wat are u doneing?" Zim o-mouthed at the seet of Red an Purple almost havin soks in front of him!11 "Zim we are in lofe so ew called to say that so u cant call us no more becos well be bissy (lol its a pun)." The screen offed an Zim sated don by the bibel. "Evven the tallers haf abdomened me."
Then he look mored at the bibel an rembered that Jesus wold never bandon him even not rite now. "O Glorio, Iv mad a terribel misteak!111″
Meenwile I was goin to Sunday Skool to kalm my nerves bout all the bad stoof that ad happened. Ms. Biters, the teacher, was sinin songs wif all the littel kids wile teh teens (but they werant rabers) was watchin sumthin on there iFones an lolling at it.
"Whats the down lo guys?" I asked to them an they all lolled at me an showed teh screen. It was…. ME! Sum jerks had putted seekrit camras all everywere an recorded me an was makin fun of the recordins lick on Mistery Theater 2000!11
There was only 1 persons who cudda done this….. my old enemitys….. THE FALMER TROLLZ!1133!
"Hey Gloria common an sign sum salms wif us!" Ms. Biters sayd but I was out da door an heded for a seedy cloob callt "Club Flamerz" to finish of the Flamers onse an for all.
Wen I got to the clubby it was alls blak an smokey insid from drugs an beer an bad litenin.
There was tons a flamerz lick Alecmoreto, an Strong Bad, an Kokoreeah alls lollin at me from tere privat camras on a huge screen on teh wall. Then a gurl camet out on da stage wearin a mean cloths that say "Marrissa Suks" an "FLAMER 4 LYFE" an otter bad stuffs. It was…. SKEPKATTY!11
She was the liter affer Ringmater retried to talk bout ponies.
"Allrite ever one are u all reddy to mak fun of dum Gloria Deshannel?" Skep trolled an piked up a mike an started to sung "I wanna flame an troll all nite! An MST durn the day!"
All the trolls started dancin frum the funky beets an I saw…. BUSINESS MAN WAS TEHR!111! "Business Man u was my frend but now yur workin wif these TROLLIN JERKS!"
He got a sad look on his face (HA I GOAT IT RITE THIS TIME, EET IT FALMER TROLLZ) an said.
"Im sorry Glroia, but I ham in love with Skep!
We are get merried tonite."
He ran op to Skep an they started kissin all lovey!
This was to far, Id had it wif theese m************ trolls flamin me an my storys. "Enoff! Im am gonna bring this plase down!" I ran up to da screen an jump kicked it an blowed it up so it said BOOM BOOM WHAM BAM an didant work no more.
All the trolls gotted angary an I saw that in the behind was…. PrettygOOD AN THE TEEN RAGERS!111
"Were frends of the falmer trollz so wen u mess wit them u mess wif us!" They tae dot nifes an nettles with bad grugs an HIV innem reddy to kill me. Then… the seelin explooted up an a huge mussely guy wit red skin an lots of horny an tats an a huge hed that was more huger than a hippopotamoos hoo was ridin a motorsycle.
"U wudant let me be in yur gang, so now yur gonna be MY GANG!" The monster lolled evillily an thats wen I realised it was…. MIB!111
He graped the Teen Ragers an brethed fire on them so they turnformed into Flamin Skeltons call the "The FLame Ragers".
Next the taked the Flamer Trollz an crossified them an putted nails an barped wires on em like in Even Horisun or Hellrasser.
"But not u to Ive gotta spesal plan for u!" Dib antichristed an piked up Skep an Business mAN.
He tared Skep's arm of an made Business Man ate it then toared his leg of an made Skep ate it then he killed them in half.
Then the hafs died.
I o-mouthed at da carnaje. Noone deserved this (but maybe the Falmer Trolls allitle) but it wasant over yet. Dip keept tearin an twistin the ded skep an Man bodis till there was only teeny weeny pices then he putted them alls back together as a hooge monster called "Skepness Man".
"Now yur togeter fourever!" Dib lolled with evil an scary.
A crash yelled owt from the door it was… Stephen on a flaming motorsilo.! "Common Gloria we gotta buggerin get bloody out of her!" He saw alls the monsters an demans an o-mouthed an wetted himself.
"Those gits are soddin bloody wankers an is that Dibe?" I doble jumped onto the sycle an Stpehen pumped the ingishun reel fast.
"Wheres Zooy?" I asked fraid for my sistars savety. "Shes still at hoem we must get there OH DEAR GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!1!11″
Skepness Man chargged an swipotted at da moercycle sendin us flyin an flipin thru the are.
My buck started hurtin reel bad lick I had been staped or sumthin but…
To Be Continued!
Wats goin down with Gloria? Hoos the Secon Conning of Jesoos? Will Zim see teh tru lite of GOD an defeet The Antipode? Find ot next time!
PS. I think Ill only do tow more chappers for thsi one.
AN: Sorray for da long brake but Im back with the pentilamte chapter were thers sum reel shockin reveels!
Invader Zim: Bron Agan Chrisstun
Chapter Sevent: Hellck on Earth
I felled towards the grond but my bak hurted sooooo bad. I cudant see Steefen I think he was maybe died an was fallin more fast when…. Suddently….. I stopped!
I cud fli now it was supa cool!
Usin my noo wings I started flyin to serch for Stepher an I fownd him fitin Skepness Man. "This plase is buggerin bonkers Im taken Zooy an weer goin back to Englondon were thare arent all these soddin monsters an bloody flamer jerks!"
Then he jump kikked Skepness arm of an ran thru the openin to get back toe the motosikle an drove fast away.
I stated to follow him but a voyse called owt.
"GLORIA WATE!" It was Nee on a bildin! He was throwin nifes an shurikens at the flamer ragers an demans an thins in a tempt to kill alla them. "Its apolcelces we half (lol) to kill deese guys its are Christian Dutty." He exclained wile killin eve more bad dudes.
"No lol its just Dib bein a jerk."
Nee got a =( look on the face an yelled.
"NO U DUM B***** C****** THAT'S THE F****** ANARCHIST U G******* B*******!1!"
Then it all clacked, thatz why Dib was poweruped an there was demans ever were. He was the Anitchrist!
Nee o-mouthed at realizin what he just said an was sad. "OMG Gloriot Im so sorry I didant meen that Im just relay stressed kay?"
"Its allrite Nee, I no yur stressed becos things are prettay hecktic (lol its a pun). Then Nee noiced my wings an that I was flyin. "GLORIA U HAVE WANTS NOW?1/1!/"
He was soo shoked he droped his nife an it fell an hit Rign Mater hoo had escapid becos hes retried an was ridin a brony an braned his fourhed
I lolled at teh poetic justase of Ring Masters kill bu Nee was not amoosed. "We need to find da second comingling of Jesus hes the only 1 that can stop Dip."
Then Dib climed a bildin like King Kong an grabed sum areplanes an hit them into more bildins to kill more pepole an turn them into deman zomboys.
"WARE IS THE SEKUND CONTIN?" Dib Antichristed louder than space.
"U CANT HIDE FORM ME FOREVER BECOS I NO YUR SEEKRIT IDEMINTY!111″ "Lol Dibs gonna tell us the seekrit identity an then we can finds him first to win." I hi-fiived Nee an listaned to heer to the noo Jesus was.
"CUM OWT CUM OWT WEREVAR U ARE… GLORIA DESKCHANE…." But efore he cud finish… THE VOOT CROOSER SEWISIDE BOMBED DIBS FOURHEADS!
"Dran it! Now how ill we find ot hoos the sekund comin?" N33 sadded.
BIG BOOM BOOM BAM BOOOM said the the Voot Crooser an Dib got coatered in smoke an dirt an dust.
The dus sturted to cleer an a guy waked owt.
It was…. ZIM!111
I flowed down with Nee to Zim an we both huged him for savin the world. "Im so sorry bout before I was rong to use u an Jesus. I see taht in my hart now." Zim Christianed so I kissed im on da top of the dead an he bloodshed.
"Its not ovar yet, hell be back the blapst only sended him flyin thru the sky soon he will lant and fite again. Are only hoop is to figur out whos the Secont Counting." Nee convoluted.
In facts Dip had been hit soe hard he floo a rounds the planet a bunch a times lick in Superman then landud rite back were we was!21
Dib stunded up an gared at us. "Repair to dye foos! Spect for you Sekund Callin." We all o-mouthed! Onna us was Jesus?
"Thats rite second Jesu I got spesal plans for u, or shud I say… GLORIA DESCHANEL!1/1/1″
Zim taked my crossifix wile I was just standin in shok an ran to Dib reedy for a kill. "Hoo am u to challenje me?" Dib lolled with evil an antichris.
"I AM INVADER ZIM: BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN!11!" An Zim stapled the crossifix inot Dibs hart an he exploded inot lots a blood an guts an Zim chunkz but Dib was un hammed but the boom shooted us fast away so we eskapid.
"OMG! Zim gaved his live for us!" I cryed wile Nee holded me. The explod had flowed us back to my hosu were Zooy an Stephen was.
Nee loked to the city were Dib was rampagin an killin then at me an braved. "Gloria yur the sekont counting onlee u can stop him. U halfta do it, FOR ZIM!" Zooy patted my buck. "YAH FOR ZIM!" She went then Stephen Smerched "BLOODY WANK THOSE SODS GLORIA, FOR ZIM!11″
I standed up an uncorked my wings.
It was time for teh final battal, an it was on!
TO BE CONTINUED!
OK GUS GET RETTY FOR THE BIG FINAL SHODOWN WILL GLORIA WINE OR IS ZIMS SEWISIDE IN VANE? FIND OT SOON!
AN: HEERS THE EPIC KUNKLUSHUN TO INVADER ZIM: BORN GAIN CHRISTAN. WILL GLORIA STOPED THE RAPTER? WILL ZIM SAKRIFASE BE IN VANE? WILL DIH BE DEFEETED? FIND OWT!111333
INVADER ZIM: BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN
Chapter Eate: Invader Zim: Bron Again Christian
"But how um I supposed to stope the antimatter?
Hes much more strong an big than me!" I deadpanned to Nee, even wit Jesus on my side thins wasant lookin goode for the showdown throwdown (hehe).
"No one never said it wud be essey but yur the only 1 who can doit. God choosed u for a reson Glorya." He ansared an I noo he was rite. But how cud I defeet Dib?"
I uncorked my wints an Nee goated on my bak so we floo to the battal seen. "Stepen, keep Zooy safe, me an Nee will handal the Dib." Steven brave-nodded with head an I got a look lick "Im gonna kill sum b*****" on his face.
We sumpted to go towars the city were all the battal was goin but…
Skepness Man lurped out from behin a bildin reddy to kill me! "Wash out Gloria its a randum incounter!" Nee creamed an I just barely dodded Skepness Mans arm swipe.
Then I saw it had a big bumpy thing an realised that SKep an Business Man didant be good Christans an wate for merried an did a baby alsready!
Sinse they was putted bak to bak it meened Skepness Man was… DOBLE PREGNONT wif its own babby!11
"We cant kill or it will abortion the baby!" This musta been why Dib choosed Skepness Man for the fite, he noo that Christans cudant abortion a baby.
It was a dirty trike an he was gonna pay.
"Then ell just have to do a emerjancey C-sextion." Nee lolled with cool an bad***.
He jumped of me an take dot a nifes to stab into Skepness Man's bellay an fell down an around to make a big circle cut.
Next Nee pulled da skin of an there was a whole with the baby insid. "NOW GLORIA!1″ He said wile stabbin Skepness in the man/gilr plase becos it was both.
I swooped in an groped the baby from Skepman's tummy an hitted the but so it cryed an was all good. "ITSA BOY!" I happied an Nee climed up to Skepness Mans hart an say "Congradulations on yur sun." Then nifed the hart an Skepness Man dyed with a lot of blood an guts so I cuppered the babys eyes sinse no one shud haf to see that kinna stuff.
"What ill we do wif the batby?" Nee scrutched his hed in confused. "It is still got the blud of the falmerz in its vanes so it most be send to joovie for educashun an then adopted by sum lovin Christian parunts." I etsplained. "OK Ill take it to da orfanaje u fite with Dip ok?"
I didant lick the plan but it was the onlee way so I nooded with hed so Nee got the bapee an ranned of wile I headed (lol head, lick Dib's) for Dibs thrown.
It was a bigly thrown made of bones an guts an fire an the bad guys from Hellrasser was there givin Dib food an stuff.
"U ALIVE?333″ Dib disbleefed.
He was soooo mad that Skpness Man didant stop me so his whole mussely body turned all on fire an brinestone. "Listan Gloria, to finis the rapeture I need to sommon my dark mister…"
I o-mouthed this was evven worse than I thot!1 "An to do that I ned the most Christian purest version sakrifase.
Do u no were I can find one?" Dib manically lolled. The hellrassers thru chains ot of teher hands to me an I got all tyed up. "HEP HE GOIN TO KILL ME!11!2″ I screemed so much lowder than anything but noone herd becos everone in the city was dead ot turned to monsters.
Dib was gettin out his glowy switchnife reddy to drub it inot my hart.
This was the end for me an Jesus an all the good Chritian pepoles becos Satin wud get samoaned an finish teh rupture. The swatchblade gotted closure an closure then… IT MIZZED!
"OMG WTF IS GOIN ON THIS B***** STUPID PEECE OF C***** CANT F***** J***** A B******* G******* IT U M******* WHY WONT MY NIFE STABBED YOU!3112421″
I smied happy becos dum Dib had falled rite for my seekrit plan.
Me n Nee was flyin thru the citystreets on are way to fite Dib (we hadant fite Skepness Man yet) wen I stoped flyin. "Nee I think hes gonna try an use me for a version sakrifase." Nee o-mouthed becos that made lotsa sense. "Oh no how do we stope him?" I happied sexy like an whipsered "I think u no how…"
"Butt Goloria were Christians we cannt done that till merrage!" I landed up an licked at Nee.
"No Nee its kay we have to done it to safe the world so God says its kay lick the time in the bibel were those two gurls had to sex up there dad to safe pepole from dyin." Nee nodded in understandin then he gloped me an…
(AN: JUST IN CASE YUO PERVS FORGOAT THIS IS A CHRISTAN STORY SO IM DEFIANTLY NOT WRITIN THE NEXT PART JUST MAKE A PRETEND CHAPTER IN YUR HED OR SUMTHIN PERVS!11)
Dib roared like the sun relay mad as he relised I cudant be sakrifised now an his plan was ruins.
HOW WILL I SUMMAN SATIN NOW!"
"LOL u cant I wined an u loosed." I braked ot of the chains an readied to kill Dib an end the rapture.
"NO I will still KLILL YOU!" An the flame ragers jomped up an thru firebolls at me an fire drugs an beer (that was also on fire).
Suddenly my crossifix started glowin brite wite an it made a sheeld to stop the bat stuff from hitin me. Tow of das flame ragers, Projency Masheen an Lurvable Freek was refracted back at thes tuff an was made on fire an turnsed to assh.
Then the ash died.
The crossifix keept glowin an glowin an glowin an I felt alls powered up so I sayd "THE POWAR OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!1123228090!"
An a hooge beem of lite shotted out an hit Dib in the huge hed an he started glowin an on fire but bad fire that hurt him.
"STOP! U CANNT DEFEET ME! I. AM. THE ARCHIVIST!1″
Then Dibs head busted open an blood an branes an fire rayned out all round the city an burned sum pepole but there was a hospital neerby so it was all good.
I loaked at the heedless Dib body an put my crossifix on the chests so he glowwe even more an died. The battal was finally woned.
I floo bak to my hohem were Nee, Zooy an Stephen was cheerin an hootin an Nee was doin' cat calls ;D.
Wen I landed they ranned up an huggled me a hole bunch an I saw that Zooy was kinna diffrant lookin. "Gloria I was waitin for a spesal occashun to tell you an this is prettay spesal so… IM PRAGNENT!"
I o-mouthed and huged her even more titer but stoped so I didant kill the bablee by mistake.
"Also were namin the bloody baby Zim, in onor of the best soddin Chrischian ever!" Stepen smerched.
It wass the best day ever an we were all happy an I gotted a massage telepathic in my head.
"Gloria Im talkin to you from hevan" It was…. ZIM! "I just wantod u to no that Im very thankful u teeched my bout Jesoos an been Christian. Me an Gir are havin a fun time heer with God an stuff an we got to watch u kill Dib on Gods big skreen plasma.
The b****** hads it common. By Gloria Deschanel an thanks for helpin me become: INVADER ZIM: BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN!22″
WELP THATS ALL FULKS. WRITIN THIS ONE WAS A REEL CHALLENJE SINSE I DIDANT NO MUCH BOUT CHRISTAN STUFF BUT I THINK I DID EM JUSTACE.
ALSO GO REED MY OTTER SUPER GOOD STORYS ITS MY LIFE! AN TEEN FORTRESS 2! BYE!111
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