Jack white: The other chapter
It was a very normal day in a very normal household when i was looking through my vinyl collection, staring at all the beautiful black discs, but i noticed something very peculiar when i looked at the download code for Jack Whites new LP, lazaretto, as i noticed i hadn't redeemed it yet. So i did what any normal person would do, hop onto third man record's official site,and redeem it. After entering the code and dowloading the file, i noticed that
the file looked rather dubious, as it was called Jackwhite.exe, and normally audio files don't come in .exe format. Oh who cares i thought, as i reluctantly clicked the file to open it. A window popped up saying "Thank you for buying this album, to listen to the full 11xFile, FLAC Album 24b quality album, click 'Next." So i did. A google chrome window appeared out of nowhere, even though i don't have google chrome. The URL bar didn't have any URL in, even though a very dodgy webpage with a big, green 'DOWNLOAD NOW' button was placed in the middle. I clicked on download, and a .zip file opened up automatically, where there was another file called JACKWHITE.EXE, which i clicked on yet again. This time, a large, full-screen window opened up, with jack white screaming "LETS HAVE A BALL AND A BISCUIT SUGAR AND KILL OURSELVES OVER IT" Which freaked me out, then a graphic depiction of jack white 'finishing off' people at a coffee bar with his guitar , and then going apeshit at the baristas because his coffee wasn't dark enough, 'finishing off' them too. Then, the scene changed to a black, with the message 'JACK WHITE IS LOVE, JACK WHITE IS LIFE' written in blood suddenly appeared, and the .exe file closed and deleted itself right after that.I will now scared shitless for the rest of my life, as jack white is love, jack white is life, is stuck in my head.
Jack white is love....
Jack white is life.....
Written by Hatty Hattington the Third
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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