Jeff Goes To School
Author's note: This is a parody of those dumb high school romance stories. - FaliusKonogami
Everyone was once young. Even Jeff the Killer. And though he's not truly human, even he once went to school. High school, to be precise.
Jeff was a normal boy. His grades were good enough, and his favourite subject was Physics. He liked listening to Mettalica and Muse, because these bands were popular amongst his kin. He usually wore black - the purest type of black, which, when you stared into it, made you feel as if you were observing the deep of space. Of course, Jeff didn't want people to notice that (since it's kind of creepy), so he covered his clothes with normal black paint and a thick layer of dust for a stylish effect. This clothing was very hot, and made him sweat a lot - in fact, it was impossible for him to wear his usual emo make-up that would later become his trademark, because it always dissolved under the sweat. So he just went about his life without it. He didn't like it, but it was a neccesary evil.
One day in his first year of high school Jeff the Killer, or diKilar as he was known back then, went to school. While going to his locker, he noticed an unfamiliar person in the hallway. It was a girl. Her back was turned to him, so he couldn't see her face, only her hair: Three amber gold braids so long the girl had to drag them around on the floor, yet despite constantly being in contact with the filth of the ground, they remained pristine. Despite not knowing what her face looks like, Jeff instantly knew that he was in love with the adorable lady. He felt his cheeks turn red, and hid them inside his locker, pretending to go through his books.
Later that day, Jeff went to history class. He liked history - obviously not as much as physics, though - because he thought the teacher had a nice beard. Jeff liked to imagine himself running his fingers in that lovely forest of manliness. But, unfortunately, the very same beard distracted him overwhelmingly, and thus, his grades suffered a lot. In fact, history was by far his worst subject!
He expected the lesson to begin as normal, but instead, the teacher said that today, a new student would join Jeff's history class. He said it was a girl, and then opened the door, beckoning someone with his hand. In came, indeed, a girl...
Her face was covered in white-and-black make-up, nearly the exact same as what Jeff would wear were it not for his sweaty clothes. Her face was long and slim, and her eyes were large. They seemed to reach into one's soul and try to pull it into them... Into the deep of space that lied beneath a very, very thin barrier, waiting to be shattered. She was too shy to speak, so instead she turned to the blackboard to chalk up her name: "Jennifer". It was then that Jeff noticed the girl's hair: the very same triple braid he admired on the hallways earlier. And once again he was reassured in his assumption that this was the girl of his life.
Since she couldn't speak up, she simply sat down by a desk in the back of the classroom. Jeff decided to get in touch with her. He deployed one of his eight Jefftackles (though when he was a freshman, he could only use 4 of them at a time) and poked Jennifer's calf. At first it seemed as if she was ignoring him, but soon he felt her hairy response on his ankle. He looked down... His leg was being touched by what seemed to be a living braid! But Jeff knew better: this was a Jefftackle, or should he say a Jennickle, disguised in beautiful blonde hair. He wrapped his tentacle around the girl's leg, and she did the same to his. This was a symbol of love that would last forever.
After history, Jeff and Jennifer left for the school courtyard to speak in private. It was the place where all the outsiders always went: a shady corner with a creepy, black tree overshadowing their conversations. It was the best location for the two eldritch lovebirds to meet.
"Jennifer, who are you? And what are you doing here?" Jeff said.
"I... I came to see you, Jeffy." she said.
"See me? But... why? Do you know me?"
"Of course I do! That is... Because I'm your sister!"
At this moment, Jeff was shocked. This beauty... No, this deity of love, was supposed to be his sister? But then... How can they be together?!
"WHAT???" he said, unable to express his emotions in any other way.
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