Kirby's Evil Yarn
Everyone knows Kirby, the fat pink glob, and everyone loves Kirby. If only everyone knew the truth about Kirby. It started when I was playing Kirby's 'Epic' Yarn. I found it quite humerus that the entire point of the game was to be a participant in a collectithon. Was there no end to Kirby's unquenchable thirst for money, or 'beads' as they called it in this game? That's when it hit me. Kirby was the embodiment of greed, one of the seven deadly sins. Kirby is also a FAT, pink, GLOB. He's also usually portrayed as motivated by sweets. There's even a cake land in 'Epic' Yarn. His primary attack in most games is consuming his enemies, and STEALING their abilities. In this game Kirby's main method of attack is using a WHIP, a common item in what is known as 'BDSM'. He's also pink, the color of lust. He can have other methods of attack if you STEAL them from enemies and Prince Fluff. Kirby is also potrayed as lazy, being a fat pink glob and all, but if he is motivated, he goes on literal massacres across the lands, killing everything in sight, and looks on them as his enemies, just another pitiful obstacle to crush, he believes he is the judge, jury, and executioner, judging all, believing he himself is free from this judgement. So, there's greed, gluttony, envy, wrath, lust, sloth, and pride. Kirby is THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS. But wait, there's MORE! There are six main worlds, not counting Dream Land or Quilty Square. There are six tenants in the apartment building, and six non boss stages in each of those six lands. 666. Odd. There are even more spooky things. For example, there are three collectibles in each stage, three waddle dees on the loading screen, and three floors in the apartment building. That's 333. Times that by the 2 shopkeepers and you get 666 again. The tenants in the apartment building are even defined by deadly sins. Zeke has clones of himself, which seems pretty prideful, and narcisstic, so maybe even lust.. Beadrix has you collect beads, which is pretty greedy. Carrie has you carry her everywhere, which is sloth. Buster has you eradicate so called 'enemies' from the world, which is wrath. Mara is pride once again, believing she can beat Kirby the Destroyer in a race. So, what does this mean? Well the main antagonist in the series is a king, and in 'Epic' Yarn, it's a creative guy. Does this seem familiar? It's an allegory. Kirby is a powerful demon, quite possibly satan. He is rampaging across Hell in Epic Yarn, and in the mainline he is on Earth. The fights where Kirby beats Yin Yarn and Dedede are in his imagination. 'But wait! When Kirby falls into a hole, Angie, an ANGEL, saves him.' I hear you say. I have two words for that. Fallen Angel. Boom. Mind blown. It all makes sense now. Kirby's 'Epic' Yarn isn't just some kid's game where you can't actually die, but an allegory for Satan in HELL.
Written by Bloom
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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