Kirby: The Lost Episode

Most people will remember the cartoon based off the Kirby games. "Kirby: Right Back at Ya!" was the name. It was a cute cartoon, featuring many cute characters. Basically, the whole series was about Kirby trying to stop King Dedede's "evil" shenanigans.

Last night, I was up late on my computer watching adult content, because that's what teenagers do. Once my arm was sore to the point it couldn't function, I decided to do something else. Thinking of what to do was a tad hard, for my mind was still on sexy women, but then an idea came to mind. The Kirby cartoon! I remember watching it all the time as a kid, and the thought of watching it again brought all the nostalgia flooding right back. Without a second thought, I opened a new tab on my computer and typed in "kirby cartoon", for I could not remember the name at the time. I planned to watch the entire first season on YouTube, so that's what I started to do.

As soon as episode 5 ended, I realized there was no episode 6 listed on the playlist I was watching. It just skipped right to episode 7 after episode 5. I groaned. "This is annoying," I said aloud, opening a new tab and typing in "kirby cartoon episode 6" to see if I could find it.

After scrolling through a few pages, I came across a site that looked pretty legit. I don't remember the name of the site, but I clicked on it and waited for it to load. As soon as it loaded, I was met with a pure black background and a thumbnail smack in the middle of it. Above the thumbnail in white text it said, "Kirby: Right Back at Ya! Episode Six: Mourning." Also, the timestamp in the corner said "6:66". Six minutes, sixty-six seconds.

The thumbnail was the Japanese art for the cartoon, because the text was in Japanese. The thing was, there was a reddish tint to the picture, and Kirby's mouth had been flipped to make him look sad. His eyes were also edited to make him look sad.

"What?" I asked aloud, scratching my head through my oily hair. "I don't remember the name of the episode, but it couldn't have been this..."

I started the video anyways. It started as normal; nothing was different with the opening. But when the actual episode started, things started to get spooky.

All the characters were in a circle around Kirby, who lay on his back on the ground. There was blood pooling out from around him.

The characters said nothing, just exchanged saddened looks before turning around and walking away slowly. I was a bit taken aback. No way this was the legit episode, it was too dark for a kid's show. But, despite the sinking feeling in my gut that something bad was going to happen, I continued to watch.

The shot stayed on Kirby's corpse. It zoomed in slowly as the skies rapidly started to change between daytime and nighttime. Along with this, Kirby started to slowly decompose in a very hyper-realistic way. It made me sick, but I didn't throw up because I'm a man. I instead swallowed the vomit that had forced its way up my throat and into my mouth.

Suddenly, the time-skipping stopped. The shot just stood still on Kirby's almost decomposed corpse for a few agonizingly long minutes. Suddenly, the sound of someone walking on grass interrupted the silence. The sudden noise caused me to pee a little into my dirty adult diaper.

A character came on screen; King Dedede. He looked sad and knelt next to the corpse.

"Sorry." He said, closing his eyes. As this happened, Kirby's eyes shot open, bloodshot and red. The corpse sat up soundlessly, looked at the camera, then to Dedede. King Dedede didn't notice, and continued to kneel there solemnly. The rotted, ugly corpse of the once cute Kirby suddenly pounced on Dedede, ripping apart his flesh with unnaturally long, sharp teeth. Dedede screamed, a loud scream that made my ears bleed. I screamed in pain at the sound, and I heard my mom yell at me from upstairs to shut the fuck up and go to sleep. I stopped screaming and turned the volume down. That made it more tolerable.

Kirby had soon devoured Dedede, and soon gained his features. It looked gross, because Dedede's features were also decomposed and ugly. Kirby looked to the camera, and slowly smiled. Then the episode ended.

My computer then shut itself off. I started pissing and shitting myself I was so damn scared. The shit started leaking out of my diaper and onto my bed, but I couldn't stop it. I was just super fucking spooked.

It stopped pouring out my asshole after a minute or so and I started to sob into my Cheeto-dusted, fat hands. Why would someone do this to such an innocent show? I loved Kirby, and watching this disgusted me to no end.

I stopped bawling like a little bitch when I heard my closet creak open. I looked up, and gasped. There was the decomposed Kirby, still with Dedede's features. He smiled, then shoved his stubby hand down his throat to vomit up Dedede's meat. Kirby smiled wider. I knew he planned to eat me. I started screaming, and my mom burst into my basement room.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" She screeched. I tried to warn her about Kirby, but it was too late. Kirby jumped onto my mom and started devouring her face. She screamed loud, falling to the ground and writhing as the pink monster ate her.

This was my chance. I scrabbled off of my bed, and grabbed a handful of shit from my man diaper. I threw it at Kirby, and her stopped. I threw another handful, and another, and another, until Kirby was dead. I looked at my mom, but she was dead.

I sat back down on my bed, turned on my computer, and wrote this.

teh end

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