Klonoa: Lunatea's Dissolution

One day, I was playing the Klonoa: Phantasie Reverie Series on my Nintendo Switch. I had bought the game from E(vil)bay when I saw a European physical copy on sale for FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and bought it from a user named Dr34m Tr4v3l3r. I was excited to play this fantastic series, so I immediately played the game as soon as I got it in the mail. I started with Door to Phantomile, which was good other than Vision 6-2 (that friggin' triple enemy puzzle was more frigged up than a bee in my Del's Lemonade). After beating the game (and spectating those horrific cutscenes that were nowhere near as good as the PS1 version), I opened up Klonoa 2 out of curiosity. This was a substantial solecism that I will never recover from. After the opening cutscene where Klonoa enters Lunatea after a few adventures involving a Bandai Wonder Swan and a GBA game, the cutscene where Lolo and Popka find Klonoa played and OH GOD... I CANNOT RELIVE THIS TALE... Lolo had hyper-realistic blood jetting out of her eyes, and she looked like a hyper-realistic corpse of a dead lioness. Popka was worse... he LITERALLY was nothing but the hyper-realistic corpse of a dead dog... rabbit... gem... thing... whatever he is. Klonoa then looked at the screen with hyper-realistic blood-shot eyes and shouted MANYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (I AM GOD) and then jumped at the screen. I was so spooked I shut off the game. However, when I turned around, I saw an EVIL KLONOA PLUSHIE THAT HAD HYPER-REALISIC BLOOD RED EYES. To this day I have never played a Klonoa game again.

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