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...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

I know this story may seem unbelievable but it’s true and trust me I used to be sceptic who laughed at anyone who believed in anything paranormal or religious that was until my fateful encounter with this cursed game. This isn’t a creepasta or some fake ghost story for kids! This really happened to me.

I am a huge Tomb Raider fan much like anyone with a brain and I had played all the games that is except for the Legends Timeline games as I am a fan of the classic Tomb Raider Games. I have always though that Lara Croft is the perfect woman she is a badass, she doesn’t take shit from nobody and she doesn’t end up living some boring family life or being a mother like most women. She lives life on her own terms. I could never see anything scary or distruving about Tomb Raider that was until that fateful day…..

As I have said I have never played the games in the Legends Timeline before but at that point I was in some grotty town you know the ones. I was run down most shops were local stores or weild shops. Where there seems to be gambling dens and bookies on every street corner that or mobile phone shops. I walked into a antique store and there was knights in armour and soviet flag and other antiques. They also had old games and dvds but there was one that caught my attention and it was a PC game with no cover except a printed sheet with only written on it in permanent marker “Tomb Raider PC” of course being a huge Tomb Raider fan I decided to buy it. Big mistake. I brought the game to the shop keeper a strange old man with a scar going down his face and I asked how much was the game and he looked sacred and said “stranger I will give you this one for free” with an ominous look. I didn’t think anything of it so I took the free game and gave him a tip. I did asked what happened to the cover and he said he didn’t know it was just sold to him like that but the kid who sold it ended up in a insane asylum screaming about the demoness ghost.

When I got home I was so excited to finally play a game in Tomb Raider Legends Timeline and I opened the case but I found no official disc just a black dvd with written on it “Tomb Raider”. I was disappointed but I got the game for free so I couldn’t complain. I opened the disk drive of my laptop and placed the disk inside. I don’t have PS4 or 5 because I only like classic games not the newer ones. So I put the game in the disk drive and closed it. Thinking back on this I wished I had not. The auto installer didn’t start and I was forced to explore the disc files and there was one file called “LaraCroft.exe” The title screen loaded like any other Tomb Raider game with Lara Croft on the tilte screen and the options of start game, extras and options next to her and the pleasant Tomb Raider music playing. But there was not croft manor. I pressed start game and what I saw will stick with me for the rest of my life. For a split second the Tomb Raider theme slowed down and became demonic. The picture became a close up of Lara Croft’s face. Her hair now much longer and she looked tired and bloated. Her eyes were also crying blood and there was the distorted sound of a crying baby but not just distorted but demonic and evil. I thought it must be a glitch in the game so I tried to think nothing of it.

The game stared but there was not intro cutscene or anything no witty lines from Lara or introduction to where this was taking place just the first level title. The first level was not named after a location or anything like that it was only called Week 1

Lara Croft was in a cavern with walls that looked like flesh and as I moved her forward there was pools of blood. At first there was no enemies just jumping puzzles and swimming sections where Lara Croft was swimming in blood. Then Lara had to fight these wield bloody blob things and when they died they cover the floor with more blood. There was also a creepy background noises that sounded like the moaning in Martin Gothica for the ps1.

As the level continued in became less demented and we were in open air fighting normal Tomb Raider enemies. Soon we came to a clearing and a message came saying “Week 2”

I guessed that this must be the story of Lara being trapped in some strange land and how she survived in the weeks she was trapped there. Anyway this area was a misty field covered in strange alien eggs just like the ones from alien. So I had to avoid them because I was worried that Lara might get face hugged. So I walked her past the eggs and jumped pass some but there was some that required all my Tomb Raider gaming skills to get passed. Soon the path led to a cavern that was fleshy just like the last and there was conveyer belts transporting more eggs that were coming out of tubes. This must be where the aliens where producing there kin and there were more and more of them. There were also these strange alien guards with guns but I could take them down with Lara’s pistols. Then Lara found a shotgun and I found that the eggs could be destroyed with this weapon. We continued through the cavern and then by the crouch and lifted her up and the screen faded to black for around ten seconds.

Then the title card came again “Week 3”

Now Lara was in here mansion and she was in bed I though that this must mean that the pervious events were just a bad dream or at least I hoped. Then Lara crawled out of bed and she was naked. This was a dream come true for any Tomb Raider fan because who among us wouldn’t have dream of seeing the gorgeous Lara Croft naked and it was a joy to see. All the details were there down to her pubic her and vulva and heaving breasts. My God.

I figured that this must be the point where you guide Lara Croft around mansion. I got her to explore the vast mansion she owns. Until we got to her swimming pool and then it became disturbing. There was a scream then the swimming pool water turned blood red, the walls had become flesh like and top of the swimming pool was covered but dark right lights illuminated the pool. Then I saw that demonic tadpoles spawned by an alien looking tendril were chasing Lara. I tried to get her to swim away but they kept gaining on her no matter how fast I got her to swim. They kept getting closer and closer and I was pushing on the d-pad as hard as I could but it was no use, they surrounded her and engulfed her. Then I herd her scream and she woke up back in the cave.

This was all too disturbing and creepy but I got her to move onwards. There was more eggs blocking the way so I got Lara to shoot them but this time they split into two and shooting the ones that split into to two only got them to split into four. So I had to get Lara to avoid them and then in some rooms the eggs were self-replicating so that the entire rooms were full of eggs. I had to put all my Tomb Raiding gaming skills to the test to get Lara to avoid them. I managed to find a safe path by climbing up walls and some insanely difficult jumping puzzles. Then I reach Lara to the exit and she fell through the floor and kept falling for around a minute until she reach another cave room where the walls were covered in eggs. Then the screen when black for fifteen seconds and then another message came

Week four

The cavern continued to become more disgusting there was no eggs going forward this time but there was faces embodied into the walls of the cavern and gross fleshy lumps. Then there were screams that echoed all throughout the cavern and I could hear very faintly another noise but I couldn’t make out what it was. The enemies were also disturbing what looked like floating kidneys with eyes and weird blobs of the flesh that could take different forms. They were not too much trouble though. The walls of cavern became even more thick and dangerous and I felt that if Lara were to touch them she would be absorbed into them as well like the faces in the cavern’s walls. By the end of the level Lara looked slightly tired as she new that some horror might be inflicted upon her. Then the level ended as she went through a fleshy door.

Week five

Then Lara Croft was in more fleshy caverns but this time the walls had large sick gashes and wounds in them. But there was no blood in fact there was not blood in any part of this level but it looked like the walls should be bleeding but they weren’t. Instead of pools of blood for Lara to swim in it were now pools of water and what looked like small pools of egg white yoke. These weren’t so bad but the way they looked was disgusting and putrid even worse then the blood. Lara looked uncomfortable at all of this and so did I. This was sick and had to be hacked game or the work of some sadistic madman. Lara was also increasingly tired throughout this level and had to sometimes stop to rest or sleep the game gave an energy bar for this so it made some parts of the level even more tense because of this bar. This must because the horrors of this eldritch land are draining her of her energy. There was also a red dot appeared underneath Lara’s health bar I couldn’t tell what it meant but I was sure it wasn’t good.

The cavern began to have some weird leaves on the roofs of it like fleshy leaves on the fleshy cavern. The enemies here was also disturbing such as the ones that looked like floating cows livers and there was also these ones that looked like spines and would try to wrap around Lara and kill her. I managed to get her through this nightmare and then.

Week 6

If these caverns were not disgusting before they were now, they were covered in veins this time and there were full of these gross slimy creatures that didn’t look they resembled anything other than some weird proto life forms from the prehistoric times. There was also messages put on the floor in rotting meat saying turn back or don’t go any further or you’ll be cursed just like we were. There was also that strange sound again that was still too faint to make out. This was all to disgusting and sickening and clearly Lara thought so as well because she clutched her tummy and threw up. Lara actually vomited and this lasted for around 50 seconds. As I led her through the level she kept looking sick on and off again like the whole environment of where she is makes her sick to the stomach. She also looked tired at some points and move slower, like all this was brining here down but then at then next second she could gain a rush of energy like she was more determined to overcome what was there. This went on for some time and I think this level might have lasted for around ten minutes. Then we came to the end and Lara just sat on the floor and cried for around a whole minute.

Week 7

Lara had to move through more of these fleshy caves and there were some seriously dangerous jumps she had to take. There were also these strange flesh creatures that looked like the snarks from half-life but cross with a fish. They crawled and leaped at Lara to tried an swarm her but I got her to shot them away. Lara still kept throwing up now again sometimes throwing up for entire minutes she is really disgusted with this hellish H.R Geiger caverns and so am I. I almost couldn’t play anymore but as a true Tomb Raider fan I couldn’t miss this opportunity to see a rare version of Tomb Raider. So Lara also seemed to switch from being extremely tired to having bounds of energy on a whim. Talking of energy I also noticed that Lara’s breasts seem to have gotten quite bigger and thought that this must be for fan service, which is greatly appreciated by us gamers. I know that in the legends timeline Lara has smaller breasts than she did in the original games but maybe they were not meant to be like that originally. I didn’t know why they would only now become larger but this is clearly a beta for the fully released game so it would be a bit rough.

The jumps in this level were troublesome and I had to use my full awareness of surroundings to get Lara across. Some of the jumps you had to look for obscure nooks and crannies for the level before making them, this was clearly for hard-core Tomb Raider fans like myself. Sometimes Lara would throw up or need to sleep in room where a jump is to be made which is helpful because I could look around the surroundings while she is being sick. Lara would also sometimes become dizzy like when she made a jump and even when she is running around. Then she would stop and look dazed. I have never seen Lara like this these aliens must be really messing with her mind and making her feel dread and despair. It was really hard to go on with this game and seen such sufferings happen to Lara.

The end of the level happened as Lara see a giant floating prawn like alien and she screams and vomits and then I see that blood is coming from her EYES

Week 8

This level had very few real enemies but it have music horrible off tune music and what sounds like that creepy Lavender Town theme pokemon red and blue. There was also that strange sound that could be heard early which I realised was a heartbeat. The music got louder and louder was becoming ear piercing. I tried turning the volume down but nothing happened and Lara was also finding this torturing at first she looked irritable but then she started yelling and shouting. Finally she was laughing madly and laugh got louder and louder until they were deafening with them music and it kept going until the screen went to black for about 15 seconds. Then the screen cut to a close up image of Lara’s face crying blood and the level ended.

Week 9

There is a change of scenery we were now in a forest of thick trees and swamps. At this point and it seems that Lara must hunt food to survive which must have meant that there was survival mechanics meant to be added to the Tomb Raider Legend games. What Lara needed to hunt was conveyed with objectives and these were some of the strangest creatures ever. These were things such as deer stomach with honey and chillies and sands. Then when I got her to hunt them Lara Croft would wolf them down like some wild fiend and I would see the most disturbing demented face on her face. Like she was some rabid beast rawing on flesh and this entire thing made my blood coil.

I thought that this might cure her sickness and did seem to but as we came to a disgusting alien tree which seemed to have veins instead of stems and bones instead of roots and instead of seeds embryos, fetuses or even babies. They were hanging from the tree like seeds and you could see and hear their hearts beating. At this sight Lara clutched her belly and groaned. I was hoping that she would not throw up and I was even giving her encouragement saying, “Come on Lara you can pull through” and “you’re stronger than this” but it was not use Lara turned to the screen as she was looking right at me and said “I’m sorry”. The she threw up for a full three minutes!

After that I had her move onwards hoping I would be ready for whatever horror would come next but noting would prepare me for what would come next in the swamp part of the level. There was bones forming through the ground around the swamp pits and the swamps themselves seemed to be cross sections of stomachs and sometimes a wild rabbit or deer would full into them and become digested before our very eyes. Lara again seeing this look very dizzy and then sick. Once again she threw up. At last I got her to the end of the level and then

Week 10

Lara Croft’s breasts definitely looked bigger now and not only that her nipples seemed to be erect as you could see them through her shirt. I was glad that the devs included this fan service it made the disturbing and disgusting parts more easy to get through knowing that we might get see more of Lara’s ripe bosoms. Lara was also wearing different clothing like it seemed that her tank top was different slightly.

In this level there was more trees with babies growing on them and stomach swamps but on top of that there were also bushes but instead of leaves they had lungs that were constantly taking in the air of the swamp and pumping it out as poisonous gases. These were a pain to avoid but I kept Lara on her mission.

The level ended with Lara going walking over a log over a ravine of blood, which had giant lungs, hearts and stomachs on the walls of the cliff.

Week 11

So it had now been eleven weeks since Lara Croft had gotten lost in this hellish realm and I was wondering how long it would be till she saw civilisation again or how long until she could just relax in her manor house. Because the place she is in now is horrifying.

We reach the end of the ravine crossing but it was still more forest and swamps but they were even more disturbing. The here trees not only had babies growing from them but they had faces on them, evil demented faces. Lara seemed to be feeling more uncomfortable and sometimes she would put her hand on her pelvis like pain or aches are coming from there. There was now what looked veins on the ground which you could see blood running through them like this that this land is one big eldritch organism. The stomach swamps were here as well but some had arms coming out them that tried to grab Lara and pull her in and there were these floating alien creatures that would come down from some trees, which they seemed to be connected to, by some kind of life support system. Lara was again sick at the very sight of this unholy madness and she threw up several times. I got here avoid and shoot her way out of this level and then.

Week 12

At this stage of the level things were much the same but even more disturbing and difficult. As I moved Lara through this level avoiding the horrors of the forest and the swamp there was this creepy heartbeat sound that started quite but just got louder and louder. Also that distorted lavender town theme started again and was again annoying Lara Croft but I got her to avoid the horrors while not letting me getting to distracted by the evil music.

Then at around the half way point Lara needed to lie down and rest again before her sanity meter was drained by all this lovecraftian horror and while she was lying down a robotic tentacle came from one of the trees and scanned Lara’s belly. I tried to move her she wouldn’t move and I pressed all buttons on the keyboard but noting happened. This must be a cutscene and then realised that perhaps if Lara moves what ever is controlling that device will find her and do unspeakable things. So it was a good thing that I didn’t get her to move and after what I would see next I was so glad that I didn’t get her to move. As the device scanned a picture appeared on the screen of a horrifying creature. It had black eyes and small arms as well a face that looked almost like a skull. Its head was also transparent so you could see its evil brain and know the insane genius that either rules this place or is putting Lara through this nightmare.

Then when we reached near the end of the level there was a hideous sight of a huge monstrous tree that was draining blood from the earth and from its braches were hideous babies with fangs and in the centre of the tree was the most horrifying face that seemed to be constantly screaming in rage and terror. When Lara Croft saw this she clutched her belly and was almost sick but she wasn’t, she had got used to theses sights and managed to stop her self-throw vomiting everywhere and she looked very pleased with herself for resisting this urge. So she was ready to take on this boss and it’s health bar appeared with a horrifying name Lhoth-itla. The boss kept lunching at her and trying to grab here and also shoot corrosive gasses at her. The babies would also be launched and would try to gang up and consume her. To make things worse there were stomach swamps all around the tree so you had to not only fight it and avoid the attack posed by the tree and the babies but also avoid the swamps as well. On the second stage of the boss fight these had arms coming from them as well. I managed to take it down with my pro-Tomb Raider skill but it was one tough battle. Lhoth-itla died and emitted a blood curdling horrifying nasty scream that even made the screen go static for a bit. I thought at this point that Lara’s troubles were over now but boy was I wrong.

Then a message came up saying Stage on completed prepare for stage 2

Feeling energized and proud having completed this stage I went to bed. Though I had the most terrifying dream or should I say NIGHTMARE! I was on my computer with my classic Lara Croft wallpaper that I have on the computer and my many Lara Croft figures. I was suffering online and then the Lara Croft wallpaper said to me in sad voice “how could you put me through this?” Then her as well as all the Lara Croft figures started crying blood. Then that baby crying started that demonic baby crying, it was at that point that I screamed and everything was back to normal. I decided to go back to my room because it was very late but then when came to my room I heard vomiting and saw Lara Croft being sick in my bedroom sink. She looked pale and dead like her hair had grown much longer and her eyes were black. Than she ran at me and screamed the most horrifying scream, it was that point I woke up her scream still echoing in my ears.

I decided I needed to know more about this game and what happens next. I booted the game and it went straight to my latest save and then.


Week 13

Lara had now arrived at a big mansion and it was not her mansion but a dark evil mansion. At first things seemed not too bad but I knew they would get worse as we had not even got inside yet. Lara move cuaschsuylu through the building. There was something that seemed a bit off model with Lara I just noticed like her abdomen had become slightly more prominent not much but it looked like more rounded. This is barley noticeable though and I thought I might have been imagining things. Lara occasionally put her hand on her pelvis as if she was a bit uncomfortable and or is having some sharp pain in her pelvis. Sometimes she would suddenly hold her hip and looked like she had a sharp pain as if something had just stung her there. There was plus side though Lara was no longer tired in this level and no longer needed to sleep suddenly. She also wasn’t being sick anymore. So perhaps Lhoth-itla was causing her sickness and tiredness so perhaps now she has defeated that curse or she has become immune to such evil influences. Though there was something I noticed and that Lara seemed a bit less steady footed like she and some jumps seemed harder to make.

This mansion grounds had big gardens and large pits to jump over but as Lara was no a little bit less steady this was tougher and there was a chance. This seemed to be the next level of Tomb Raider challenge and I managed to pull Lara through because I’m a pro. Also in this garden where weird statue that seemed to have muscular bodies but small doll like heads, there was also these brains on pedestals that hurt Lara whenever she came near them. So the best course of action was to take them out from afar. Though apart from difficult jumps and the brains this level was really peaceful and I almost though the game was going to start taking it easy on me. More like luring me into a false sense of security. We reached the mansion Door and Lara entered and then

Week 14

Lara seemed to be at ease much like in the last level although she still seemed to have the occasional pain in her pelvis or hips that would cause her to stop while move for a few seconds. Though she really seemed to have taken a liking to this mansion and I could see why because it is beautiful. Stunning statues, wonderful bedrooms, luscious dining room and a great swimming pool. Also training area where Lara Croft could train her jumping which I could she see needed because she felt a little more off balance, I got her to jump, crawl and climb round this course. There something I noticed during this, and this goes back to the off model point I mention before, and that is that is when the camera zooms in on Lara at some points I could swear that Lara’s waistline seemed to be thicker than usual. I figured that if my theory was correct and that this was beta version of the game or a hack based on a beta version that they might have played around with different models for Lara and this might have been an earlier version of her model.

Not only was this mansion great but also seemed that Lara Croft had been expected as there not only seemed to be a obstacle course like Lara likes but when she had finished the course I moved her to the dining room and there was meal prepared for her. The meal consisted of some of Lara’s favourite foods so it must have been for her. After she tucked in and at a good meal she went to one of rooms and went to bed.

However a cut scene showed that Lara didn’t seem to sleep easy in the bed she kept snoring, moving her legs around and sometimes clutching her chest as if her heart was burning. It seemed that she was having nightmares or was aware of the horrors that lurked around the corner. It was at point that the mansion became uncanny. A loud scream awoke Lara but she didn’t seem to mind, as she wasn’t sleeping well anyway. She got up and changed into her gear. Then I moved her out of the room and in corridor outside there was now these bladder like sacks that had formed in the walls around the pipes and they sprayed what looked like urine at Lara Croft to do damage. Then the more I moved Lara the more unnerving this mansion was becoming because there seemed to be nerves running through the walls and I could only think of the brains before on the stalls in garden. There were each room now seemed to have these strange fleshy grey-coloured saucer shaped disks on the ceilings of some of the rooms the were connected to the nerves in the walls. These fleshy disks would cause damage to Lara and were hard to hit. The dining room had a huge one in the middle of the table now and the room Lara had been sleeping in had one just above her bed. The mansion seemed wonderful at first but it contained all these horrors hidden away. I realised the exit of this level was in the swimming pool and moved Lara to there and swam her to the exit at the bottom of the pool.

Week 15

Lara really benefited from that swim in the pure water of the swimming pool in the last level as her skin looked amazing and pure so much so that it seemed to glow. Her hair was also much more luscious, long and thick. The swimming pool must have washed some impurities off of her and rejuvenated her body. The graphics of her skin and body now seemed to far above what the PS2 and early 2000’s were capable of and I had never seen Lara look so pure. There was also details that I never noticed on Lara Croft that seemed there be much more visible like freckles and few moles that seemed to be much dark a visible now. This was a very nice detail that allowed me to see some of Lara’s more distinctive features and as a huge Tomb Raider fan this was a godsend. I now knew facts about Lara’s body that most other fans didn’t and I felt so privileged. There was one complaint though that this improvements did seem to cause a slight visual glitch in Lara’s midsection as there was a faint dark vertical line going down the middle of her belly. This must have been some modelling glitch that that these advanced models of Lara caused and as this is a beta I would have to deal with it.

This level was started in a ballroom of the mansion and there was grand piano playing music by itself. There was also the sound of that heartbeat in the background again and whenever there was any noises close to Lara the heartbeats would increase in pace. When I moved Lara through this ballroom and saw that the piano’s music were being amplified by ears in the walls, these ears also seemed to do damage to Lara when she moved close. It was good job that heartbeat sounds were there because they seemed to warn when something was going to damage Lara.

As I moved Lara out of this room there was now a corridor that led to more bedrooms, which seemed to have those fleshy disks on the ceilings again but they were much bigger this time. These were I had to get Lara to take one out so she could get a key that was located in a bathroom of one of the Bedrooms. There were new monsters, which were these long spines that came out the walls, and tried to impale Lara, they were tough but I managed to get Lara out of the way in time. The last part of the level was a game room with stag heads mounded on the walls and a snooker table. Then Lara exited to a dressing Room.

Week 16

Lara was now in a big dressing room with many different outfits and mirrors. At this point I saw that Lara’s waist was not just thicker it had a small bump that was poking out of bottom of her tank top. It was like her usual clothing couldn’t fully cover her belly so there was a tiny gap were it poked out. It almost looked like she is pregnant but she couldn’t be there is no way that Lara Croft could be pregnant and even if she is I am sure that she wouldn’t keep it. But that bump looked vary suspicious like you would see on a woman who is just starting to show. But it because it was only a slight bump I just thought this was a glitch and because this was probably based on a beta they didn’t get her model exactly right sometimes.

Though in this dressing room Lara changed out of her usual gear and put on some different clothes. She was now wearing what looked like jogging pants and while she is wearing her usual tank top she does seem to have a layer of cloth covering the gap that seemed to be forming between the tank top and her trousers. The rest of her clothes she put in her inventory along with many other clothes from the dressing room she seemed to think might come in handy. It’s great that these Video Game characters seem to have unlimited storage space. The heartbeat continued through the level and now seemed to be a permanent feature of the game now.

I moved Lara out of the dressing room and into an attic there was a those lung trees again coming out of the floor and pumping poisonous gases whenever Lara tried to come near them and there was a new monster. These were a disturbing being that looked like a cross between a hyena and a man but with no fur or disguisable features. Their skin also looked thin and translucent and when they saw Lara they would make the most monstrous scream and charge at her. I got her to gun them down and Lara found a new weapon, which is the grenade launcher “about time” I thought. The attic then led to artificial canal like you would get in a log flume and boat. Lara boarded the boat and it took her along an aqueduct that went over a hellish landscape of bloody rivers and ground which eyes and mouths in it, then into a large building and down a waterfall. This then led what was either a large swimming pool area or ancient Roman Bath. There were statues along side the water in Greco-roman style, and a pillar on each of the walls.

Week 17

So this level started in the aforementioned bathhouse with the many statues. This was an easy level no monsters and overall very relaxed but I new better this was just lure me into a false sense of security like in the last stage. I moved Lara along the pool and surveyed the area. There was grand stairs that led to a balcony above the pool and I moved Lara up the stairs and it went to quite a height but I was sure Lara could manage it except when she got to the top she seemed practically almost breathless. I guided Lara along the balcony and there was a portion outside of the room with bright light shining on it from the sky and switch on the other side. There were some patches of shade where the light was touching the balcony. I moved Lara towards the switch and then I found the light from the sun started causing her damage and actually burning her skin so I had to get Lara out of there fast. This must be evil light I thought and so I moved Lara along the shady parts and made it to the switch. A cut scene showed that a door opened in the pool and I guided Lara back there and when Lara reached the bottom of the stairs she sounded a bit out of breath again.

Then I plunged Lara into the pool and swam across the length of pool and dived her down to the bottom where the door was and she moved through it. The doorway ended on an underwater tunnel, which opened out onto an indoor garden with many fruit trees. Lara ate some of fruit which restored health lost in that evil light part. In this level that heartbeat sound also seemed to be louder and more consistent. The trees here were good but there were some of the bad ones like the evil lung trees. They were pumping out poisoned gas on some parts of the garden but these seemed worse as they had mouths in the trunks that opened and swallowed insects or sighed before admitting toxic fumes. There was now two of these trees that I had navigate Lara past and as I did I noticed at this stage that Lara had small brown patches on her face and I though this is either a glitch or she is slowly being poisoned from trees. So I made her run fast to the exit she got out just in time and then.

Week 18

Lara entered this new area, which what seemed to be a training room or ancient gym. As I moved her forward to explore she suddenly stopped and put her hand on her abdomen with a confused look on her face. I had noticed that her abdomen was getting larger and the gap at the bottom of tank top was widening. As she was holding her belly there was a sound that sounded like fluttering. Then I saw what it was there was a demonic look moth flying towards her with skull symbols on its wings. I got her to shoot it down and continue on. The gym employed more ways to test my Tomb Raider skills, as there were switches that I needed to press and items to pick up that were way above the gym but could be reached by climbing ladders and jumping between ladders and platforms. Lara seemed out of breath every now and then but sometimes she also looked like she was getting a bit too hot or is suddenly burning up. She took that extra layer of cloth that is beneath her tank top and threw it away which revealed more of that bump which I was sure is a glitch in the mode. The developers probably put that cloth strap as a way to hide the model issue and later had Lara throw it away as a way to explain why it’s not there in other levels.

We then approached the switches but they were guarded by two of those lung trees and they were more developed than previous ones as you could see bronchi on them and this meant I had to get Lara to charge it to the switch and push it. The switch then opened two doors, one to the next area and another on same level that Lara is on. The switch opened to another pool area that led down to the ground floor but you had to swim it. The jump puzzles and climbing to reach this higher level would be impossible to do in reverse so the only way to get back down is to dive. Lara had to swim a very long way to reach to bottom and her oxygen bar getting very low before she surfaced. So when she did reach dry land she had to catch her breath, which took 30 seconds and during this some small gobbling looking creatures emerged. They looked very disturbing like small skinless monkeys but with goblin ears and hideous pink skin. They giggled horridly and ran and then proceeded to poke Lara’s belly as she was recovering. This took health off and I got Lara to shoot them off. Lara killed them and took health packs of their bodies. Then as I moved Lara forward she stopped to scratch her tummy like it was really starting to itch. She did this now again and once she scratched so hard that she drew blood. Moving through the doors reached the next level.

Week 19

At first I could not make the next era out as it was blurred but then Lara rubbed her eyes and it was normal again. This was a nice touch I thought. We were now in a kitchen area and there food roasting on fires and bowls of fruit. Then more of those insects attacked there was those moths again with their loud fluttering and now giant flies like those associated with Beelzebub. I got Lara to shoot them up but she took damage and this time to her second health bar and I noticed this made Lara look worried. I still didn’t know why Lara had a second health bar or why she needed it. Lara also fought some Deer creatures and she was able to cook some meat off one of the ones she killed, which she again wolfed down with great eagerness. Then I moved Lara further on and reached a room, which was fleshy and had some nerves in the wall. This room contracted and jerked about a bit in rabid succession that made sounds similar to a hiccup. This really grossed me out and made me feel sick but Lara was strong she didn’t feel or look sick at all. All this horror must have toughed her up compared to when she was often being sick in the early levels. The room after that was even more disturbing it was a room with frozen liquid but it wasn’t water it was frozen blood. Very realistic and detailed frozen blood that was so hyper realistic that you might have thought it came from a documentary. I had to move Lara cross this frozen pool of madness and this caused Lara to grab her tummy now and again but she wasn’t sick. We reach the end and came to the next room it was darkness when suddenly a loud ear-piecing roar was hurt and a nightmare face appeared in front of Lara. I jumped and so did Lara this actually made her jump as well but it seemed to more like she jump because something had just jumped inside of her in response to the noise. I thought that this must be a glitch due to them not getting the animation right yet. The creature in front of Lara was a fish man thing with webbed toes and feet with a face full of hideous teeth and a long tongue. As the creature roared the webbing on its hands and feet dissipated giving the creature fully formed human looking hands and feet that left fingerprints on the walls. This was clearly a mini-boss and I thought it off as it was trying to grab and eat Lara. Though this was an easy fight despite its bravo it was no match for Lara Croft.

The next room was flooded with blood that came up to Lara’s neck and she had to wade through this deep blood. This was until she came across a strange bike and was able to ride it through the blood to the end where she pulled herself down with her arms and swam out through a small gap. There was a part now where Lara had to move some weight through another flooded room to move a path and the weights were human skulls. Then a message in very realistic blood came up saying “do you remember your mother” and it showed the plane crash where Lara’s mum died and after that Lara was crying tears of blood.

Next Level

Week 20

This level started in a locker room and Lara changed her outfit to swimwear and this really made the scale of the model error more apparent. This was more than a slight bump in the model it was a bulge that seemed to almost reach the bottom of her breasts. It didn’t seem to reach her waist entirely but that might start intruding on that territory soon. I still thought this must be a glitch and an error with the model but in her tank to it could be seen as well and before she changed at the start of the level it seemed to have not only been covering less of it but also being stretched as well. But I didn’t want to think that Lara Croft could be pregnant that would be just wrong; it couldn’t be the cause…RIGHT?

So I moved Lara to the end point of this room and she suddenly grasped herself like someone had just walked over her grave or hit her from the inside. I thought this must be more evil horrors affecting her mind and got her to move on. To get out of the next room Lara had to lay on this conveyer belt, which brought her to next area. We then reached a new bathhouse section though this looked more like a swimming pool and before Lara could get up that robotic tentacle from level 12 came out of one the walls and scanned Lara’s belly again and this time another horrifying image appeared. This was of a skeletal creature in a darkened area it had visible spine and skull. You could also see its heart beating beneath its skin and see some bony legs. The creature had blood around its lips and bits of flesh and also a cable the connected to something that was attached to it. It looked like a gruesome proto life form and the worse thing is it was looking straight at me.

Before Lara entered the pool she stretched her self against the wall of the pool bending one of her legs slightly whilst straightening the other one she did this for five seconds before doing this the other way around. Then she went in the pool and swam I had to keep her swimming which seemed to go on for a good while and after swimming this long pool for five minutes she reached the other end. As she swam the pool slowly turned from water to blood and there was bodies floating in the blood and music that sounded like that creepy theme from Manson of Madness from timesplitters but played in reverse.

Then as Lara came out the pool she stood still for five seconds before I could get her to move. I noticed that the way she was standing seemed awkward I can’t put my finger on it but the way she was standing just seemed off and very awkward. I moved her on anyways. So we were now in grand looking doorway that led to a corridor a very long corridor that I moved Lara down. Every so often this corridor had little alcoves with seats in them. As she moved down the corridor became scary and faces appeared on the walls. Blood also started running down the walls and faces were laughing. As Lara walked further she started becoming dizzy and had sit down now and again in one of the alcoves but not for too long because demon faces like gargoyles started to appear on and behind the bench whenever she sat for to long. Lara was brave when faced with these demon horrors though and still sat with good posture and rose calmly so as not to show fear. As I moved her on further to get out of this horror corridor she also kept putting her hand on her lower back like she was have some pain there. As reached the end of the level there was a big door and she entered it.


Week 21

We were not in an Egyptian Tomb and Lara Croft was back in her normal clothes in this stage but they were really looking stretched like they were straining against her belly that they barely covered. What more as I moved her along the tomb I kept thinking I was hearing what sounded like seams splitting? But that wouldn’t make sense this game must be making me paranoid.

There was nothing that interesting in this level and nothing of note but there was just long stretch of hallways

Week 22

The hallway had led to a bridge over bowling lava or was it blood? On the bridge sat a sphinx glaring and Lara and me. In the pool there were thousand of people who the sphinx had thrown into the pit to die slowly and they were screaming in agonising pain. The sphinx gave Lara a riddle and this was the riddle

A wealthy family lived in a big circular house. They had a maid, a butler, and a gardener. The parents were going to a party, so they tucked the younger kids into bed and kissed them goodnight and said goodbye, and kissed the older kids goodnight. When the parents came home, all the kids were gone—they had been kidnapped. The authorities ask the butler, maid, and gardener what they were doing at the time of the kidnapping. The butler says he was organizing the library, the maid says she was dusting the corners, and the gardener says he was watering the plants. Who’s lying and actually kidnapped the kids?

To my horror Lara had forgotten what they were taking about after the sphinx had finished. How could Lara the great Lara Croft forget that? What is happening to her? Is this horrifying places sapping her strength?

So the Sphinx asked again clearly the only fail condition was getting the answer wrong. This time Lara remember what they were talking about but did not remember the majority of the riddle. So the sphinx had to repeat it again and Lara got the just of it but still not entirely. So the sphinx yet again repeated the riddle and this time Lara wrote it down and then she went over it trying to strain her mind to think of answer though it was clear she was having a hard time concentrating. But she came out with the right answer

“The maids as she said she was dusting the corners, but if the family lives in a circular house, so there are no corners.”

The sphinx was shocked “how could you beat me and solve the riddle in your condition? Your pregnancy brain should have made that impossible.” Then the sphinx jumped into the lava and there was the most horrifying scream as larva engulfed the creature burning every aspect of her slowly. Pregnancy brain what did it mean by that? Could it mean that I fear was right and that Lara is in fact pregnant in this game? But that couldn’t be maybe the sphinx was just taunting Lara for the madness that was caused by these curse realms that had to be it. Right?

Then next part of the tombs was a giant wall of fat advancing at Lara and the only was to run before consumed Lara. Lara ran to the bridge and then I got her to jump off just time and grappling hook to the ceiling and then destroy the bridge plunging this wall of fat into the lava below. Lara came out on the other side and then went further. What came next chilled my bones Lara was now inside a hallway of pure blood and it was the most hyper realistic blood imaginable! I’m mean you could actually see the red and white blood cells floating by Lara as if she was in a giant blood vein of a giant person. Then the white blood cells advanced on Lara to try and kill her and I had to get her the hell out of there. I got her to swim as hard as I could until she reached a giant liver, which she entered and was ejected into another room.

There Lara landed and righted her self taking longer than usual and I could not help but notice how her usual clothes were straining against her enlarged form. This really was looking like more than just a glitch or her being of model but an actual part of the game. There was nothing of note in this room and I moved Lara was now in a giant stomach and I had to move her out of there before the stomach acid started acting on her. I got her to base just in time and she ejected on a large room. I moved her around that room which and as I did there was this terrible tearing sound and Lara Croft looked at her tank top to see that there was now a large tear in it and she said “oh it broke”. Then I saw something strange and it was an outfit store I took Lara over to the store and I got her to shop for gear there. But all the outfits were available were maternity outfits for Lara. The usual outfits were greyed out. I purchased one of these outfits for her, the one closest to her classic gear and fit. Then I had to admit the horrible truth and that is that this Lara is indeed pregnant and is now about five and half months pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Week 23

I still couldn’t believe it! Who would do this to Lara Croft? She’s meant to be exploring ancient ruins and killing bad guys not birthing babies. Lara Croft isn’t like other women she’s not meant for the boring housewife life or to be someone’s mum! Lara Croft is also meant to be slim and fit with athletic abilities to take on anything not being swollen and pregnant. Yet this hack did this to Lara! How could they do this to her!

I thought about seeing if this merchant in this ancient tomb would offer Lara an abortion but this wasn’t available! Lara would have to just suffer through this pregnancy. I got Lara maternity versions of her usual costumes that would be useful for her in various stages to come of both her pregnancy and different worlds.

When I walked Lara out of the store she came to big room and started crying tears of blood. She cried for a full five minutes it was obvious that Lara really did not want to be pregnant either and hated it just as much as I hated her being pregnant. She cried until Hathor appeared to Lara in sprit form. Hathor reassured Lara that she would get through and comforted her. I was thinking that at least a goddess is on Lara’s side.

Lara moved into the next area which had several anvils and hammers crashing onto those anvils but bellow them were stirrups that absorb to blows. Lara had to take one of the stirrups and put it in the door on the other. Yet as she went near these things the sound vibrations caused her to clutch her belly I figured that this was because the sound emitted caused the baby within her to move. Luckily it deed seem that Lara was pretty energised in this level so I was able to get her to move the stirrup just in time and it went to the door opening the next room.

In here Lara had to walk through a dark room and there was pits surrounding her with either lava or jagged spikes made of diamond. Lara had no light that would work in this room was the thing that made it even worse. Luckily Hathor was there to guide Lara down the right path to go on and make sure that she doesn’t fall off which Lara seemed to almost do at some points as she seemed to have gotten much clumsier. When we reached the end Lara kept shaking her hands as if she had gotten intense pins and needles in them. Then a beast came to attack her but Lara could not grip her guns right and once again Hathor came to help her. She firmed Lara’s grip and once the beast was dead taught Lara some wrist stretching exercises to relieve this feeling.

Then we reached a big room with a giant brain in the middle of it but it was brain with no eyes and thus had to relay on hearing and sound to detect movement. Thus I had to stealth Lara to end of the room without her being detected and this was hard as Lara was becoming harder to control the more her centre of gravity shifted. It also seemed to be times when Lara would stop because the baby was kicking within her. I managed to get her to end of room without too much problems though.

The next area looked easy at first but it was not so. There was a long hallway with a long rug from end to end though there was slight gaps every now and then in the run, various items littering the floor and also vases and such on pedestals. I walked Lara along this hall thinking this would be cakewalk but I was wrong. This hall really brought it home to me how hard Lara was becoming to control, it’s like the controls were getting increasingly slippery. When I was moving Lara down this hall it was hard to even get her to move in a straight line and she kept drifting from side to side. When we got to a gap in the rug things got worse Lara actually tripped and fell over she only just saved her self by grabbing a wall or holding out her hand, then she had to pull herself up. Lara also kept knocking things over like the vases, as her was stretching out further than she is used to. The small objects on the ground also kept tripping her or almost tripping her. This baby is really causing havoc to her body; this was Lara Croft the graceful, sensual and athletic Lara Croft! This Lara Croft now turned into this huge waddling clumsy mess because of that brat inside her belly. I though how could anyone want to see this happen to Lara and what evil creature could wreck her wonderful body with these changes. This Lara who would skilfully and gracefully make feats of athletic genius in order save artefacts from around the world. This Lara is now clumsily banging into priceless vases and tripping over slight obstacles because of her pregnant form. This hack had to be the work of someone who had both powerful women and ancient artefacts, could this hack be the work of Islamic State Group? Enough pondering I have to get the end of this level, which I did.

Week 24

The level started in a hallway where the rooms a lined with skin but you could see brick beneath the skin, as I moved Lara further the skin began to have layers of fat beneath it and you could see less of the walls. At the end of this hallway Lara was given an Egyptian bed to rest in and she slept for a long while and I got to watch her sleep sims style. I also noted that you could see her belly twitch a move about as she slept. Lara did seem very comfortable in that warm bed except that she did keep waking because of what seemed to be a serve pain in her legs, which caused her try and massage it with her hands. Lara also seemed to be getting very hot in bed as if she was burning up. It took a while for Lara to be relaxed enough as not to bothered by these things and at that point we went into her dreams. Lara was having very vivid dreams. At first Lara is in her mansion and she was with her baby who is walking around and talking. At first you can’t hear what he is saying and then it becomes clear, “hail Satan!” and “I will be born on the 6th day of the 6th month of the 6th year of this decade!” and “my rule draws near” the he looks at Lara with evil black red eyes and hisses. The next disturbing dream was have Lara underneath Ice and trying to get out it was at this stage that it was not water but blood and not ice but frozen blood. Lara was drowning and her oxygen bar was going lower and lower. Soon she almost out of air when she appears in a room not only a room but a pitch black room where you can’t see anything. Soon the room became full of screaming demons and they were screaming so horribly that it made my ears hurt. Then a big demon who seemed to be their king arose from the crowed and boosted “soon my son will be born and then all light shall end in this world” then he laughed a horrible laugh. Then Lara woke up screaming and when she woke up Lara quickly got out of bed but then seemed to get very dizzy and had to recover for a few seconds. It was then a thought came to me a dreadful thought! Is Lara the a mother of the Anti-Christ? It seemed to make too much sense because it would make sense for the first evil deed of the Anti-Christ to be the ruining of the wonderful Lara Croft taking away her form, agility, gracefulness and independence. He is probably taking glee in treating Lara’s body like some playground and making her heavy and clumsy. This is only the beginning of his reign of terror, if he could do this to Lara Croft before he is born just what would he do to mankind?! I really started to think that Lara Croft IS Pregnant with the Anti-Christ but I was also too scared to really think that.

As Lara moved across the next area I noticed that her posture had changed and she was now moving more and more forwards making her spine more curved. As I moved her further through the halls they began to have hairs growing from them. There was hair growing out of the very walls and then there was this terrifying hand that tried to grab Lara and kill her. It had terrible long fingernails and were trying to claw her to death. I managed to manoeuvre Lara through this horrible room and when she got to the end Lara was hold her butt and sometimes scratching it. OMG is does Lara have Hemorrhoids! Surly not they couldn’t do that to Lara as well!!!

There we came to another area and it was those damn lung trees again breathing in clean air and out poisonous gas. These looked even more developed though and even more disturbing looking, I don’t even want to say how disturbing they looked it was too much for me. Here Lara found a chest with a ancient music box with a leads coming out of it and text that when translated sayed that Lara could use this to soothe the baby. So it worked that the box could play music into Lara womb so they baby could here it. Though when I got Lara to do this it made disturbing unnerving music that only the devil could love.

Then the next area Lara was in a big room and then a timer came on saying that Lara only had a few minutes before this room would be bathed in fire. Luckily there was an escape craft and I guided Lara into it but she had difficulty doing the seatbelt up because of her growing body and I was worried that these would stop her from leaving, as she might not be able to do her seatbelt up. Eventually she did though and she escaped in the craft.

Week 25

Lara was now in another Egyptian room this had pools of water and Lara was in a swimsuit that was more built for the changes in her figure. This gave me more of visual of her bump and it was at this point I noticed she had stretch marks these seemed to cause Lara more disconfate as she sometimes stopped to scratch them. When I moved her towards one of the pools she stopped at a wall and gathered some cream that she rubbed into her belly. There were faces on the walls near the pool and they kept yawning and sighing which creeped me out to no end. As Lara was coming to further into to the pool a loud noise was herd and she clutched her belly because it had clearly caused the baby to leap inside of her. There what was causing the noise came out it was a sea serpent blood running from its teeth and it also had hard evil black eyes. I fort it off with Lara fighting it with the Uzis and grenade launcher which did good damage and killed it, the creature thrashed around bleeding much and died. That boss battle was not too bad but it was made harder but the more slippery controls and Lara seemed to be getting more hard to handle as the weight on her body shifted more. The game gave me an option to shift her outfit and I noticed that when I changed her into sports shoes she became a little easier to handle. As a reward for killing this serpent Lara was given spa treatment by the sprits of the dead to ease the pains of her pregnancy.

It turned out that this are that Lara Croft is in is underwater and this is underwater Egyptian ruins like some sunken city. I realised this because when I needed to move Lara onwards after her spa treatment there was a door that led to a small submarine which when Lara entered showed how deep she is under the sea. The water around her was really cold but the submarine was keeping her warm. I moved her onwards through this section in which I controlled the submarine. This led to another section of the underwater ruins which were far more disturbing and full on dark. There were these creatures that looked like monstrous prehistoric men but with fish for heads. I got Lara to launch grenades at them but the blocked them with ice shields and advanced. I knew of no way to fight them until Lara found the new weapon for this part a plasma canon and she burned through them like butter.

Talking of butter Lara seemed to be able to need to eat more to keep her strength up as this survival mechanics on to the player. This added more frustration to the game as I had to keep Lara stocked with meals and snacks. This also had a revolting side effect of making Lara gassy and need to let off wind or burp. This was truly disgusting and didn’t know who would want to do that to Lara! Was this some sick game dev putting their fetish into the game? If so they should have chosen another girl than my Lara!!!! She has always been the sexiest woman imaginable and this hack seemed to be doing everything imaginable to ruin that and ruin Lara. This was almost the last straw for me and I hated the bastard who made this hack for what he is doing to Lara and Lara’s baby for making her go through all this and also for possibly being the anti-Christ.

Lara then came at last to the end of this stage and the boss emerged it was a giant head with bleeding eyes and a forked tongue it breathed plasma at her and tried licking Lara. The walls were also bleeding red blood and gore; I skilfully avoided the attacks and got Lara to concentrate attack fire on the evil creature. Soon Lara was able to destroy this abomination and then Hathor appeared again to Lara and told her that she would help and support Lara through this pregnancy she then vanished again but I knew Lara had her support.

I closed off the game after this stage not wanting to see anymore and went to bed. Though I soon wished I hadn’t as I had nightmares! In the first I was in a crowded train with nowhere to sit and soon I managed to sit in area that is usually reserved for disabled, elderly and pregnant women. As sat there I was poke on the shoulder and was told by the ticket officer that there is an expectant mother who needs to take my seat. So I looked up and saw that this expectant mother was none other than pregnant Lara Croft and she was crying blood from her eyes and she screamed the most horrifying unnatural demonic scream. I woke up in fright or so I thought I had, the scream was still ringing in my ears. I sat on my bed on the second floor of my house and gives a good view of the forest that goes around our town. As I looked out onto the forest I got this feeling that I shouldn’t make much noise and that there was something nearby. I kept as quite as possible but then I needed the toilet and knocked something of my bedside table getting up. Then I heard it a noise that started quite and distant but got louder and closer. I tried to make it out before realising that it was that terrifying scream that Lara made and it was getting louder and closer. Then Pregnant Lara Croft flew past my window screaming like a banshee from hell’s deepest darkest depths and as she flew past my window I saw every feature of her agonising face. Her eyes were black and bleeding her hair long and dark. Her pregnant belly protruded to a much greater extent that I have seen before and her breasts large and swollen were leaking dark blood. As I took in that horrifying blood curdling sight her screams became deafening and eldritch like very horrors of hell itself. Then I woke screaming myself at the top of my lungs until I herd my neighbour shouting at me through the walls saying that they have work tomorrow and I’m keeping the up but what does he know of my suffering or Lara’s? Nothing the ignorant fool!

The next day I continued the game again I know this may seem stupid at this stage but I had to see how this ends. I had to see what happens to Lara and how the game ends.

Week 26

As I now understood things Lara Croft must be in third trimester now and this would mean that only three stages remain and this demonic hack would soon be over with. In this stage Lara’s 6th month she starts of in a frozen waistland much like the lowest level of hell in the divine comedy. Lara was now wearing winter gear but you could still clearly make out her large abdomen through even this gear. Lara soon reached a cave and it was pitch black but there was a large pair of red and black eyes in the darkness. The eyes soon showed that they belonged to a hideous face and it roared loudly at Lara and her flight or fight response kicked in. I got her to fight and kill the being with the weapon found in the pervious stage.

Then as I guided Lara through more of this stage I saw a dark figure putting his arms around Lara and covering her belly with his hands. The figure was just a shadow so Lara didn’t see him but I did. This must be none other than Satan himself and he is holding with his shadow form the womb of Lara Croft who is carrying his demonic offspring that will bring in the day of final judgment and the last battle between good and evil. The figure was doing demonic whisperings in Latin and Greek and English and Spanish and German and even Cambodian. Sometimes the was sounds of a woman crying but it wasn’t Lara crying then I realised the crying sound of the woman crying is the devil’s laughter and I almost screamed.

The figure eventually went and we were in cave were the walls were made up nerve endings and then floating brains in jars attack Lara. I got her to fight them off with her usual gun but it was a difficult battle and they took a lot to take down. These brains were smooth so they must not be that smart but did pack a punch. Then Lara reached the further reaches of the cave and there is this big brain that mostly smooth but does have some wrinkles and is connected to nerves of the cave. The baby started to kick hard in Lara’s belly trying to get her avoid this thing. Yet Lara found a weapon that allowed her to transform the kicks of the baby and the movements in womb into powerful sonic weapons. So she harnessed the powerful kicks and turned them into a blast that killed the big brain. This weapon will only get more powerful as the pregnancy progresses and this also makes up for what Lara looses through lack of mobility I realised. Though I also realised that this is further proof that this baby is the anti-Christ and this confirmed by demonic whisperings saying, “kiss to his majesties’ boot” and “kneel to the power of HIM”

The weapon could utilise different baby moments to do different types of damage for example summersaults could make an enemy flip in the air and kicks could throw an enemy backwards. Though the weapon could only be used when the baby is moving and there was no way to influence what kind of movements he would do. Lara could get him to start moving by playing with or poking her belly but that wasn’t reliable thing to do when under attack.

As I moved Lara through the cave she seemed to become hotter the more she exercised and would often need to take some layers off after moving around too much even in this cold climate. Yet after standing still for a while she would soon cool down and become cold once again and need to put those clothing layers back on. Speaking of warmth at the end of this level Lara found a log cabin in this cave and had a good meal then changed into maternity pjs and went to bed. However, Lara seemed not to be able to sleep as every time she started to relax the baby would kick her. Then she when she did sleep disturbing nightmares would happen to her and I would have to move her around hellish nightmare landscapes where she has to avoid demons and such. I dread to think what would happen if I failed any of those or let Lara die in any of these nightmares but I thankfully never found out, as they were not too hard just very scary. Each nightmare would be broken up by Lara either getting up to urinate or being woken by being kicked. Then as morning came

Week 27

The next day started with the image of an eyelid opening dramatically and an eye protected by a fine membrane looking out. Lara woke up with a fright and struggled to raise herself out of bed. Lara soon was in her winter gear and leaving the cabin and continuing onwards the rest of the cave had more monsters in that I got Lara to fight off. Though sometimes Lara would stop when walking as if something had just knocked the wind out of her and realised that this was the baby kicking her in the ribs or lungs. This was horrible to realise this demonic brat was treating the great Lara Croft the sensual, athletic and wonderful Lara Croft like a punching bag. It made me sick that this had to happen to the great Lara Croft who I admired and a always very attracted to. Even worse sometimes Lara would lift up her cloth enough to see her bare belly and there see an imprint of a foot or hand or general movement of her belly. This was terrible to watch and the game kept making me see things like this happen to Lara Croft as if it wanted me to see everything that she was suffering though. This went on as we went through the cavern and to the end of this horror ride that ended at the gates of a great snow temple and here Lara needed to rest again. This time she slept in a stone outhouse that was kept warm via steam coming from the earth. Though Lara took a while getting to sleep as the size of her belly was making her uncomfortable and then she kept getting kicks that would stop her from sleeping or jolt her awake. Then it was back to more nightmare parts where I had to navigate Lara across her disturbing nightmares. This being again broken up by Lara waking to get up and urinate or being kicked.

Then again when morning comes

Week 28

Now it was time enter the temple and I moved Lara to its entrance and at the entrance there was more of those yawning faces that disturbed me. They yawned out bubbles of air that did damage and I had to get Lara to avoid them. There was a long run up to the temple’s entrance and I was worried if Lara could make it. She needed to catch more food and eat more in general, as it seemed that she needed enough calories to meet the demands of the baby and her growing body but she keeps burning them off.

In the temple itself there was a long stretch of scented water that Lara now in her water wear descended into. It was deep but at the same time looked warm and almost steamy. This might sound like a very sensual and erotic setting that would have been the case if Lara is not pregnant. This was further highlighted when Lara came out the pool and for a split second I saw that she is now wearing large ungainly cotton underwear beneath her clothes to cover the bottom of her belly. This is what has become of the sexy Lara Croft? It’s a sin against gaming to have Lara look like this. If this had been a sensual or sexy bathing scene it would have maybe lulled me into thinking this place would not be so bad but now I was already expecting horror and disgust. I was expecting to be able to get to the level now but no of course not! The game made me watch as Lara measured her bump and made notes on a bump chart in her book. Then pressed it with her hands and this went on and on. This game was really rubbing it in and this was not even disturbing now but boring and that is something that Lara Croft should never be boring! This is what these satanic devs and this satantic anti-Christ baby were doing to Lara Croft!

When this was finally over I got to move her more and got to a portion of the temple that was straight corridor and rooms to ritual cambers and there it happened. Eyes appeared on the walls of the temple and chambers around Lara watching her. They were bleeding blood and there was satanic chanting that could be heard. I got her to shoot out several eyes but some shot lazars at her and I had to get her doge quickly. Lara soon prevailed but it was a dangerous battle and was very difficult. So then Lara got a message from Hathor telling her that the coldest part of the region is just up ahead. So Lara was change back into her winter wear though it seemed to modified to have layers that could be removed if she started to get too hot.

There was the boss of this stage and it was Bella Goth from the Sims 2 but mutated and covered with eyes and she said “Lara you now that you are going to be a mother you belong to the Sims” and I was horrified hearing this but it made sense they were going to turn Lara into one of those stupid sims women that have wants based around social stuff instead of doing epic adventures and spend their time having affairs, getting pregnant and burning down their houses because they can’t cook. “Well that’s not going to be Lara’s fate” I shouted and took on the boss. Lara fired grenades at Bella but it did nothing and than she shot laisers at her and still nothing. Finally Lara got a good kick to her lungs from the baby and transferred its power to the wave gun and said to Bella “you sims games make Pregnancy look all lovely dovy but that’s not real pregnancy. You couldn’t even take a real kick to the stomach and like this” and she fired the kick at Bella and Bella screamed “NOOO! Damn You Lara Croft” and the oven next to Bella caught fire and burned her alive like a witch a the stake or something.


Week 29

At the start of this stage Lara Croft is in some medieval convent the type they put nuns in and she is in a room. There is medieval chanting in the background and I think that this must be nice chanting but the more I heard of it the more demonic it sounded. Nuns were put in this convent just like and forced to give up their lives to become women of god just like Lara has been forced into this satanic pregnancy. This must be a subtle message on the game devs who are clearly pure evil.

I had to Lara out of there and so I moved her out of the nun’s quarters and into a hallway and there was a evil sound and the walls started dripping blood. The blood kept dripping until in became waterfalls of blood that poured from the walls and doors and there was blood all over the floor. Then a hideous being with a cord attached to his head like that scary Dr. Channard in Hellraiser 2 came over and I saw that the figure was none other than Pierre Dupont but he’s eyes were gone and intead were black and red dotes like Sonic.exe and he had not eyelids and bleached white face just like Jeff the Killer. H mocked Lara Croft for being preggers and said it is time for her to admit defeat but Lara was standing strong so he left.

Lara then headed to a new room and found that everything there was related to childbirth and pregnancy this annoyed her because she was looking for a rare document about the location of a powerful amulet but all the books were about pregnancy and she had enough of hearing about that. Than as Lara looked frustrated through the books she got madder and madder until she almost exploded with angry and then she got sharp pain in her lower back and had groan in pain. I had to take Lara through more rooms to find what she was looking for and then she was attacked by those big grey disks from stage four which I now realise are giant placentas. She luckily now had more resources to fight them off and was able to avoid their disgusting attacks and destroy them.

I was confident that were going to do this and so was Lara she had look of determination on her face and I moved her to the main library. But on the way there dark patches appeared on her chest where breasts had been and it was clear that Lara had sprung a leak, she was leaking milk. This was further proof that the people who made this are pure evil who would have that happen to Lara Croft? Why have that happen to her? Hasn’t she suffered enough humiliation? Now you have to add to it? This is inhuman to do this to Lara Croft and to make things worse this is her classic outfit that is now being wetted with beast milk. Did they hate Lara Croft this much? Now Lara had to clean herself up after that embarrassing leakage but once she did she was on the mission again.

It was found that in order to get to the Library there had to be three puzzles solved the first was moving heavy blocks to pressure plate. So I had to get Lara to very carefully and I mean very carefully bend to pick these objects up. First she had to stand close to the object with one foot in front of the other. Then she bent her knees and then she straighten them, so that she used her thigh muscles to lift. Making sure she did not lock her knees and instead bent from her waist with her knees bent. I put this much detail to show how tedious this was and she had to do this each time and took ages.

Then she had to push a heavy block into a hidden switch and I mean she couldn’t pull it only push. This was really hard as if you made a mistake you had to get Lara to slowly go round and push it back. Eventually I did this one and that was one to go. Then she had to slide underneath a tomb that the last switch opened to get the keys to the library and each time Lara had to slowly bend down and lie on the surface and when she wanted to get up make sure her hips, pelvis and back are aligned in the same direction and then roll on her side and use her arms to push herself up. This was all very tedious.

Then when Lara got to the Library she had to look through a whole host of information and I had to get her to go bookshelf by bookshelf. As I did the place got more creepy and uncanny until it got real disturbing there was blood pouring down the walls and the ceiling went black there was also demonic chanting and whispers. Then as soon as Lara found the book everything went back to normal again. Now Lara had the book it was the end of the level and then

Week 30

Lara was now in a hospital that was connected to the nunnery and it is an abandoned hospital and very disturbing. There is waiting rooms full of skeletons who had died while waiting for an appointment, there was operating rooms with people cut open like the had been left mid surgery and all the walls were blood red. Some rooms were even flooded with blood and the blood is slippery like in an ice level. There are also old wheelchairs rusting in the corridors and prams rusting in the corridors. It was then that horrible baby crying starting again and the lavender town theme. As Lara walked the corridor a zombie nurse came up to her and said the doctor will see you now and there was a sadistic German doctor who said “yah surgery is open mine fraulein”. It was then I realised that this was an insane asylum as well as a monastery, nunnery and hospital. This is because the sadistic doctor is performing shock therapy on Lara Croft’s butler and Larson Conway slumped in the corner after being given a lobotomy. I had to get Lara our their fast because he was ready to perform operation without atheism on Lara Croft.

So Lara ran and I got her into another part of the complex and that baby crying started again as well as a woman screaming in pain. It was then that I realised that this was not only a monastery, nunnery, hospital and insane asylum but also an orphanage and maternity ward. This is because in the room Lara Croft is looking in there is heavily Amanda Evert on a hospital bed giving birth and screaming in pain. This made Lara looked worried because she knew that she might have to go through such pain. Then there are these creepy ghost children who try to touch Lara’s Womb and chant creepy nursery rhymes. Then there is this ghost woman who had pale white skin so pale you could see her organs and long dark hair that covers her face. She kept trying to grab Lara by the womb and it was then I realised that she wants to steal Lara’s baby because she lost her own. I got Lara to run and as I did Lara passed rooms with several other powerful women video game heroines who are heavily pregnant, about to give birth or giving birth. Samus was having an ultra sound in one room her belly bulging out like a mountain, Mona Sax from Max Pain was in max painful labour in another, Chun Li was looking like she was going to burst at any moment in another, Nina Williams had just broken water in another, Aya Brea looking more like the parasite eve in another, Chell screaming as she had to contract her portal, even Resident Evil Babes were like this and Catalina from GTA and Mara Jade from the Star Wars games (I know that just canonically had Ben but still). Then even god even Faith Connors, Kitana, Kasumi, Mai Shiranui and Joanna Dark were in rooms heavily pregnant and about to burst. There was probably many more in other rooms I ran Lara past but I just couldn’t take it anymore I had Lara run while I covered my eyes it was all too much to take this game is pure evil! I could stand to see all these strong badass women like this being turn into pregnant women or having to painfully give birth. This hack the very embodiment of evil! Who but someone evil would want to force that upon these badass women?

After I got Lara through this nursery of horrors she was now in room with man different organs and specimens in glass tubes including animals and deformed babies. In middle of this room Lara stopped and lifted her tank top and you could see hyper realistic movement in her belly and by hyper realistic I mean you see Lara’s belly move and distort to such detail that you could tell which movements were kicks or hiccups or summersaults. This was disgusting to see I wanted to move Lara further through this level not watch Lara’s once abed belly squirm like this. Though even though I hated seeing this happen to Lara I still could not help marvel at the size of her belly and knew that she would still have to get bigger seeing that she’s only seven months and those other women in the pervious room had gotten larger still. It was then I realised that Lara’s face seemed much more swollen and puffy like that horrible image in the title screen. Also her skin seemed to have a much more rosy glow to it and her fingers and ankles seemed to been swollen as well. I could not think but think “how could they do this to you Lara?”. It was then I realised that Lara was also short of breath from running that corridor! This was the athletic Lara Croft! This in an outrage that she is be reduced to this.

I moved Lara cross the room and then all the glass tubes burst open and the heating pipes of the room began to swell and become the colour of red. It was then I realised that the pipes were swelling with blood and they swelled to their maximum and poured blood all over the floor. I had to get Lara out of there fast and so I made her run and run and run. Lara got out of the room before she was drowned in blood or was killed by one of the specimens. Lara got to the hall and had to run more because the blood was pouring out the door and onto the floor. I got Lara to run and run and run and at last there was an airlock at the end of the corridor. I got Lara to open the air lock and then close it just in time before the hallway flooded with blood. The airlock prevented the blood from getting into the room Lara is in and thus I got Lara to a place of safety behind the airlock. There was a bed there and another door. I wanted Lara to go through the other door but she was so tired and exhausted that she went on the bed with out my control and fell asleep.

Week 31

Lara woke up and she now had breasts bared now this would normally be something that every Tomb Raider fan would love to see but this is !pregnantLaraCroft! we are talking about here. Now her breasts seemed to be giving her discomfort which never happened before, they also seemed full and heavy. Her areolas had become darker and dotted with small bumps. She dressed herself and moved to the next room and a large room full of cots that had demon babies in them. This made sense this was some kind of demonic birthing ward and that horrible crying started again. Lara had to move past the area and thankfully the babies were in sealed cots so they could not attack Lara. I got Lara to the end and the cots opened and the babies began to crawl towards her some on the ground and some on the walls and some on the ceiling. I got Lara to open the door just in time before she was devoured and she came to another room. There was now an office and it had a list of the different women in the hospital and how many babies they were having and their health conditions and type of birth etc. Lara read the list and it said things like Chun Li is having twins and wants a natural birth or that Samus is having a girl and is wanting a water birth or that Faith Connors, Kitana, Kasumi, Mai Shiranui and Joanna Dark are all overdue by a two weeks. This was disturbing to read so I had to look away I didn’t want to see that kind of information about these once badass women. Then Lara went past an exercise room with several of the women mentioned in the list being put through birthing exercises. I had to get her past that quickly or they would put her in the class.

Then Lara entered a room full of bones and skeletons and some were chain to walls other were on the stretch rack and others were chained to slabs. There was this one guy who is still alive and blood is dripping on his head like Chinese water torture and Lara saw that the blood had dripped a hole in his skull and he smiled the most insane smile at Lara. She had to move on fast but then blood and bones dripped from the ceiling as it started to bulge unnaturally and it was going to bursts. So Lara had to move fast and I got her to the door just before it flooded the floor with blood guts and gore. Lara then reached a bedroom again and she looked terrified and images of all that blood and the badass women like Mona Sax or Chell who were in painful labour flashed across the screen so much that Lara fainted on the bed. She seems terrified of giving birth.


Week 32

Lara had not only fainted but also fallen asleep and she seemed dazed. The she rolled over on her side and raised herself up. As Lara moved she looked down in surprised as her navel seemed to have popped and was now protruding outwards. The maternity version of the tank top that Lara normally wears now doesn’t seem to be enough to fully cover her growing belly and it pokes out like a giant eye with the protruding navel like the pupil. I couldn’t believe that this protruding navel was that once perfectly formed navel of the athletic Lara Croft this was horrible how much more was Lara going to have to go through? Then Lara came to another room where music is playing and this caused Lara’s baby to become more active as she clutched her belly so she had to sway gently to rock it to sleep. This was even more gross for me that Lara’s sensual and athletic form was now like some living cradle. It was at this point I realised that Lara’s entire body movement must have been rocking the baby to sleep from the second trimester, her body had been acting like a cradle all this time. This is an insult to fans of Lara and fans of Tomb Raider and to Lara Croft herself!

I had to get her out of that room and the next one was disturbing because the walls were pink and fleshy there was also bones instead of pillars and muscles instead of steel support beams. I ran Lara down this hall and it started to fill with fat blobby walls of fat that were going to engulf Lara if I did not get her to move faster. I ran her to the end and got her to safety at her. The next area was a maze of twisting corridors and nooks and crannies. This was hard even though there is a map because parts of them disappear because Lara’s baby brain keeps forgetting things. Also now that Lara is getting bigger she seems to have less of a concentration span. This meant that I kept getting her to make wrong turnings and also end up going down different paths that she had already been because she had forgot that she had already been there. I also noticed that Lara’s belly was moving when she walked, swaying from side to side with each step she took. Her belly also kept bumping into objects and the walls causing her to step backwards. Then I saw that there was a short cut I could take Lara through to the exit it was a small gap but one that should be no problem to Lara Croft. Except that when I tried to get her through that gap she got stuck in this tight hall. It was then I realised that this would have posed no problem to normal Lara Croft but because Lara is now getting so big she can’t get through this area without getting stuck. So now I had to wait for Lara to slowly try and free herself. It was like the game was mocking me and Lara putting a tempting shortcut like that so that Lara would get stuck to rub it in just how ungainly and big she is now. So I had to get Lara to take the long way round and got to the door.

Lara opened it and the next room had a corridor which walls were mad of muscles that were trying to squish her. There was also these hounds that were made of pure muscle that tried to attack her and I had to fight them off. I soon got Lara out of there and the next corridor was sweating constantly which was really disgusting but then it started to sweat blood which ran down the walls and there was a scream. I got Lara out of there fast. Then Lara was in a room with a tube that led down to a pool of water and Lara had to get through the tube before the room flooded with blood. I had to tried and position Lara in the best way to get through it. After finding out that she wouldn’t go feet first the only way to get the fit through was to get her got head first which is really hard. After this Lara fell into to the water and landed gently an airlock sealed the tube to stop the blood pouring all over the pool and Lara Croft. The room landed in wasn’t that safe though as it was really hot and there was fire monsters that Lara had to fight off. Lara also seemed really hot in this room had difficulty keeping herself cool. There she found a new weapon that would let her use her colostrums drained from her breast as weapon to spray at the monsters. This was super effective against the fire monsters and it put them out.

Then Lara reached the next room and there was a bed for her to sleep on again and she did and but she had real difficulty getting to sleep and kept tossing and turning. When Lara did get to sleep the boss of this stage was a dream demon and she had to fight this demon off in her dreams and the dreams of her unborn child like in that scary film Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child which is the scariest of the Nightmare on Elm Street films and still gives me nightmares to this day. She fought this demon off with all her might and I used all her attacks against it the fight took place in all kinds of dream worlds including Lara’s mansion, stages from the first game and other previous stages of this hack. This was a long complex boss battle and I can’t go into in too much detail but I beat the boss when Lara gained her dream powers like in Nightmare on Elm Street 4 and that super tough Nightmare on Elm Street NES game. Then Lara used her dream warrior powers to destroy the dream demon and save herself and the baby from its evil.

Then the stage ended and I had to go to bed because I had something that I needed to get up early for. However, that night I had a nightmare that I don’t think was even a nightmare but a real ghost or demon that came to me in my sleep and I think is fundamental proof that this game is haunted or possessed. I was sleeping in my bed when I woke up and found hair in front of my face. Just masses of long hair in front of my face and I found it was hanging from the ceiling. Then I looked up and saw something that still scares me to this day. Hanging from the ceiling was Lara Croft she is heavily pregnant and carrying a baby and her hair was hanging straight from the ceiling to my face. It was at this point I realised that this was not Lara Croft or even a woman but some unholy creature, some monstrous horror or demon from another world. Lara was leaning towards me and I could feel her breath and the demonic aura of her evil baby. I just closed my eyes and prayed to all the gods and saints and prophets that have ever been including Jesus. Then I heard Lara or whatever was pretending to be her scream in pain, horror and anger then she was gone. I now sleep with holy symbols around my bed to make sure that she or it never comes to me again.

So that day when I was out I made sure to stop at the store I bought the game from but when I got to that rundown creepy town the store had vanished! It had gone completely the entire building itself had vanished and I never found sign nor trace of it. It was like it never existed at all or only existed for enough time to sell this cursed game and then vanish.

I returned home now determined to finish this accursed game once and for all time. Though when I came home my desktop background was set to a terrifying image of pregnant Lara Croft with blood running from her eyes and blood all around her. She looked just like that demon version of Lara Croft that I saw hanging over my bed. I tried changing the desktop but I couldn’t and so I turned on the game even more determined to finish it once and for all. Then we were in the next stage.

Week 33

Lara seemed even bigger than before and it seemed like that belly would keep growing. Lara was now in Japan and she was rubbing moisturizing cream on her belly before she dressed herself. Now she had a full kimono on but you could still see her protruding navel through her clothes. I moved Lara through this Japanese style castle and there was a hall with giant mouths that kept swallowing insects and other creatures. Unfortunately there was a key Lara needed in that room and she had to try and get it without being swallowed I managed to get her to pick it up and get out of there fast. As I moved Lara out of that room I kept noticing that she keeps putting her hand beneath her bulging belly to give it support or her legs and pelvis a rest. The key unlocked a room with a 手の目 (Tenome) in it and it was putting its hand eyes and jagged claws over Lara. I had to get her to fight the 手の目 off and did damage to its eyes and hands. So Lara prevailed but I had to get her to use a healing item because she took damage.

The 手の目 was guarding a key that Lara picked up and entered another room. This room was full of Japanese women who were all pregnant and giving Lara advice and as they spoke I began to notice something off. Then they started giving Lara dried leaves and I saw that they all were cuddling dead babies. Then I realised that these were 姑獲鳥 (Ubume) the spirits of women who died in childbirth or while pregnant. I knew that I had to get Lara out of there fast or she would join their band. So I had to move Lara fast and these 姑獲鳥 advanced on Lara to try and kill her. I got her out of this room only to find more 姑獲鳥 coming out of rooms to try and grab Lara and then I found that Lara had to run through an entire hall of 姑獲鳥 this must be some kind of evil castle I though where many mother and pregnant women died and they all want Lara dead so she can join them.

I got Lara out of this section of the castle at last and then

Week 34

Lara had come to another room where she had to go down and shoot headfirst and I knew what to do this time. She did not land roughly and though so she was ok. Then Lara was in a dark room and there was only candles to light the way. Then you could hear that heart beat again and there was eyes in the darkness. It made a loud sound and scampered away the sound made the baby leap in Lara’s womb and she grasp herself because this made shock her. It was then I realised that this was a目目連 (Mokumokuren) which is a harmless yokai (妖怪) that live inside walls and give a fright to unsuspecting people like Lara. I move Lara out of this room but she seemed tired and she had to take a break before she continued. The movements in Lara’s belly began to become much more obvious and increasingly so from this level onwards. I don’t know why this is but it is so.

Then Lara had to get out of this area and onto a Japanese train to her next location that is still within Japan. Now Lara is on a train and there is a guy taking up reserve seat who looks like me! He was the confronted by the manners squad that is something that is in Japan to make sure that seats are given to those who need them because Japan is a polite society unlike the west. Lara croft was tense and after that dude got up I swore she screamed in his face just like in the dream I hads. The train went through a tunnel that turned out to be a giant intestine and it was at this point I realised that this was a ghost train!!! This meant that everyone on the train had dead or was going to die at some point.

That guy who looked like me though! Did this mean I was going to die at some point? This game is just too disturbing for me and almost shut it off but knew I had to continue the game!

Lara then got off the station and walked to a house and she sat down almost considering if she wanted to give birth here and now but she couldn’t. Then she approached another castle and

Week 35

This level started with Lara very slowly getting out bed and she really seemed to struggle with this. At last Lara was up but it was then I noticed that her posture had changed and she was now leaning backwards slightly. Lara was now back in komodo and I walked Lara out of this room in castle to see what was next to be faced but it was then I noticed that Lara Croft is waddling. This was really disturbing and upsetting for me to see. The sensual, athletic and fit Lara Croft is now waddling like an emperor penguin. It was then realised that before all this happened Lara Croft was like a sports car slim, slick and with good features but pregnancy has made her more like some big bulky campervan complete with residents. How could anyone want to do this to Lara how could they want her to become like this?

I moved Lara through out of the room and noted how slowly she was waddling to get out. Every room was now taking twice as long to get through because Lara has to slowly waddle across them. Then she came to corridor with eyes all over the walls that stared at her and were very scary and we flickering all the time. Some were bleeding black blood and others were glaring at Lara. I thought that this could be another 目目連 but there was a chance it could be a 百目 (Hyakume) so I had to make Lara get out of this room. Lara Croft was now in a room full of baby clothes and as I got her to waddle across it they came to life and they had evil faces on them. They attacked I then realised that these must be 付喪神 (Tsukumogami) and I got Lara to face these 付喪神 and she fort them off with ammo from the gun found in the underwater Egyptian place. Now they were defeated but Lara is low on ammo and luckily she found some along with a med kit but then there was further problems. Because of the size of Lara’s belly she struggled to pick them up as she couldn’t bend down with that huge belly in the way. So I had to watch Lara struggle for ten minutes to pick up these items.

Now Lara had these items and it was time for her to advance but every now and then she had pains in belly that had to make her shift position. I could see that she was worried that these might be contractions but they weren’t and were probably just constipation, or pain from stretching ligaments. I at last got Lara out of this zone and caught a glimpse of her bra as she was adjusting her cloth and saw she had a nursing bra. This was really too much the though of Lara Croft having to wear a nursing bra is just heart breaking.

At this point I moved Lara through the castle more and there was a corridor that Lara had to walk down and as she did a boulder was rolled towards her and I had to get her run. I was worried that Lara would not run fast enough but she keep once step a head and I kept pushing the d-pad as hard as I could to get Lara to safety. I did this Lara got to a pool that the boulder landed in. Than there were screams of childbirth from a room and a small monkey like creature was shot out it got up a burrowed into the floor. It was at this point I realised that this is a血塊 (Kekkai) the 血塊 attacked Lara and I had to get her to shoot it and it tried to trip Lara up knowing how heavy and ungainly she now is. I got her to adapt to these attacks and fired at this fiend. The血塊 was trying to claw a Lara’s face and I had to get her to shoot it with a magnum and soon we got a tactic down to kill this monster.

Then Lara came to a dressing room where other women gave her beauty treatment, manicures and such and they did exfoliating and moisturizing of Lara’s very large belly. It was then I realised that Lara must be almost nine months pregnant now and this dreadful hack was almost over with and it was then I realised that the women who had been giving this treatment to Lara were ghosts as they now vanished into thin air. Then Lara realised this and

Week 36

It was then I realised that Lara’s ankles were swollen and looked painful but Lara had to keep pushing on. There was a pool of water ahead a big pool of water and Lara had to change from her kimono to her swimsuit and I had to constantly look at that huge belly as I moved Lara into the pool. She waddled over to the pool’s edge and as gracefully as she could lowered herself into the pool. Lara was much easier to control in water as she feels much less heavy and ungainly in this water environment. Around the pool’s edge there were these creatures that each looked like a small child but with hard scales and hooks coming out of their knee caps that looked like tiger claws. They dropped from the edge of pool and swam towards Lara to attack. It was then I realised that these were 水虎 (Suiko) who were going to swim towards Lara and drag her under water to drown her and drain her blood and steal her soul. This was confirmed with a customary glance underneath the water that was littered with the bodies of women and men. I made Lara swim faster and faster and she got to the edge of the pool to pull herself up before she is pulled under the pool to die like Monsieur Paul in Villette. Lara grabbed the end of the pool and was going to pull her self up when she had been grabbed by a 水虎 that was dragging her down and but luckily there was flax seed by the side of the pool which Lara Croft pulled down and scared them off. Now Lara was able to slowly rise herself out of the pool.

Then there was many different eyes flying at Lara Croft and it was a百目 they were sending these eyes to spy on Lara and make sure she doesn’t steal anything in this room. So I had the carefully walk Lara out of the room and when I did the eyes returned to the百目. After I get Lara out of this room she is back in her kimono again and I saw that shadow looming over Lara again and placing its hands on her belly. It was the devil he was holding Lara’s belly because he knows the time is short and his son will be born soon. Then he left again and Lara walked through more of the castle. Lara was then passing a Japanese castle window looking onto a Japanese garden. Then in the distance there was another lung tree this one much bigger than the others its trachea was the trunk of the tree. This then formed several branches or “bronchi,” which divided several times, like twigs, to then produce the most delicate structures:

the alveoli or leaves of the tree. It is within the alveoli that gas exchanges were taking place. I knew that this would be the final boss of this stage or at least major baddie.

Lara passed this window and it was at this point I realised that she seemed to have better posture probably because of all the exercise that Lara does makes her more fit and resilient than most pregnant women though she still waddled like penguin and had the other problems mentioned before. As Lara waddled down this dark hallway there was sounds of crying and it got louder and louder and I found that the sounds were coming from a big rock and this must be rock like the famous 夜泣き石 Yonaki ishi. I moved Lara by it an icy tinkle ran up my spine hearing crying coming from the rock.

Then Lara reached the garden with the giant lung tree and it roared and shot gas everywhere. This was a hard fight and Lara had to use all of her weapons to stand a chance. The pistols shot out alveoli and so did the shotgun and Uzis but when they were destroyed they regenerated. So I eventually found that you had to destroy the bronchi as well so when the alveoli were destroyed I had to switch to the gun from the water Egyptian part to destroy the Bronchi but that was still not enough as they regenerated as well. So you had to destroy the Alveoli with small arms fire and then the bronchi with the Egyptian gun and then finally I found that the wave gun that uses the kicks and movements of Lara’s baby as weapon to destroy the trachea finally killing the monster. If wondered what the breast milk gun did in this fight it neutralised the gas the tree admitted so it didn’t hurt Lara Croft. Now the tree was dead and its monstrous influence dispelled Lara moved forward and found there was a baby shower for her. In that shower were all the 姑獲鳥 orうぶめ those souls of dead pregnant women from the start of the stage. Also there where the women who were all the pregnant or giving birth badass women in the last stage. They were throwing a shower just for Lara and the evil she was soon to birth just a few more weeks left. Lara screamed. End of stage.

Week 37

This was the final stage now and it was on a mountain path. Lara was no longer in her kimono but now in her classic outfit which now looked ridiculous on her swollen form. The tank top barley covered her belly and the shorts buckled under her form. I was wonder why Lara would think it is good idea to go out like this in her condition. Yet Lara seemed at little lighter and like she could breath easier and I saw why her belly had dropped and was not so close to her lungs but was resting on her pelvis. This is how she could get up the mountain path. She walked along this path and found that she had to enter a cave to rest and when there Lara was starting to tidy this cave as if she was getting ready to give birth here before realising that she has to move on. There was a machine that gave Lara a plaster cast of her belly while she was there which I thought was wacky. I moved Lara out of the cave through a small door but she got stuck in it and had to slowly squeeze through which took almost three minutes. Lara is still waddling and moving really slowly despite the belly dropping. Then Lara was in a the exit to the cave on the other side and it was covered in hairs. As Lara moved down this final part of the cave the hairs started falling and then mouths appeared in the walls and started eating them. I had to make Lara waddle fast as not to be eaten herself. Then when Lara got out she was desperate to urinate and had to find somewhere to pee this became a constant problem because of the baby pushing on her bladder. Now at this stage Lara had to climb to several platforms and then jump to another to get her up the mountain that is really hard to do this kind of jumping puzzle with Lara Croft nine months pregnant with her being heavier and clumsy and her whole centre of gravity shifted. Not to mention that her belly is now pushing down on her pelvis. Despite all this Lara managed to make each jump but it took a lot of building up to each on and after each jump she had to stop and recover. Similar with pulling herself up to each ledge and it took much longer and she was exhausted after each time she managed one of these feats. I had to wait for her to recover before pushing her onwards.

After this Lara had to stop and have a meal which she did and it was a very high crab meal but that is a good thing. Then after the meal Lara Croft was noting some things down to herself and the baby was turning inside her belly towards the sound of her voice. Then a loud noise happened and there was a giant walking past Lara and she had to hide the loud noises were making the baby jump in Lara’s belly so she had to hold her belly while not making a sound just wincing at the baby kicking her about. Then I got a good look at the giant’s face and good gods was in horrifying it had a sorrowful face that was crying huge tears of blood and its face looked rotting but also evil. Where its eyes should be there was only two black holes and it moaned as it walkings.

Then when it out of sight Lara was able to get to the next area but this required a big jump and the giant could come back at any moment. So a timer started for the giant’s return and I had to get Lara to move fast. She jumps and just about made it clinging on to the cliff by the hands. The time timer now getting lower and lower as she pulls herself up and I managed to get Lara to waddle run to the big door in the side of the mountain just as the timer was in its last five seconds. Lara got in the door and was safety from the giant and then..

Week 38

Now Lara had to stop and rest she laid on an Aztec stone pillar and slept for a good while until she was woken by the baby kicking because it is running out of room in Lara’s womb. Lara raised herself and got moving again. She needed to get somewhere fast to birth the baby and she only has 20 days now to get there. A cross section showed that baby’s was facing head down in Lara’s womb. She moved through this area and it was clear were are in Aztec lands now. Then Lara is attacked by Ahuizotls who tried to eat her flesh and bones but I got Lara fought them off with her guns and she prevailed for now.

We moved Lara down the hallways more and there was now bones all over everywhere and all along the walls and the ceiling. There was more bones here than in the Paris catacombs and it was holding up the ceiling and strengthening the structure of the complex. There was some good here and that is that Lara found some herbal flowers that eased the pain caused by her expanded body as well as calm her and centre her energy.

Then I had to get Lara to run because she was being swarmed by Cihuateteos who wanted to steal her baby and they were woman with skeletal faces and with eagle claws for hands. They chased Lara and I got her to safety at her next destination. There Lara faced a new danger and that was were giant fists emerging from the walls to try and grab and crush her like a bug. She had to waddle past them and they were fast but she had strategy to get her though.

Than Lara reached the other side and was saw a big pool of water and I should have known that the Ahuizotl earlier meant that there was water nearby. This was clearly some huge Aztec temple and complex then out of the water came a Cipactli the part crocodile, part fish and part toad, of Aztec legend and it attack Lara Croft who fought it off. This was a tough battle but Lara managed to hurt it with grenades and guns. Then with her other weapons it almost ate her in several different ways and this was a hard fight. I got Lara won in the end though but it required some of my best tomb raider skills. Then that part ended and it was the next level.

Week 39

Lara was now in a big Aztec complex and she had to walk down long corridors and fight various beasts. This also made Lara very tired so she had to sit down and rest now quite often. Her centre of gravity is also way off so jumping puzzles became even harder and fighting and even walking seemed to risk Lara falling over. Then we reached a giant hallway its walls covered in eyes and they were staring at Lara Croft in an evil way. I got Lara to ignore all of this and press onwards but it was hard. Lara had to catnap now and again to regain energy. She was sleeping at this one point in an ancient Aztec bedroom when a Aztec death owl came in a hooted a hideous hoot this must be one of the death owls that work for the Aztec gods of death a for tell death I thinking. But whose death could it be? Lara’s? Oh god she might die in childbirth or could it be her baby’s death? Or maybe it’s the death of all of mankind and this game is predicting Armageddon? Either way I could not let it go a head so I shook my controller to wake Lara and got her to waddle over to the owl and she caught it just in time, then she pulled out its heart and ate it. This is the true Aztec way of dealing with such things and it is good that Lara now knows it well because she needs it to survive.

In this next part Lara was getting more movements in her belly and had to watch as her belly distorted and move about like a violent storm beneath her skin and this now was happening at least ten times a level. This area also had four hundred rabbits hopping around and some of them were drunk on tequila. I managed to get Lara to avoid upsetting them and she reached another area and there an Aztec computer scanned Lara’s belly and gave a picture of the baby and it was truly evil looking. My god this is what Lara is about to give birth to in a week! It is the very spawn of the devil himself clearly.

Then Lara came to this room and there are these sprite like sprits which are clearly Chaneque and they scare Lara real good and they scared her so much that her sprit flew out of her body. Then a timer started because I had only a limited amount of time to get Lara’s soul back in her body before it is lost for good. I also had to get her soul to avoid soul traps and creatures that would eat her soul. Soon I got it back and Lara Croft was alive again and this was good. Then she frighteners them off with her guns.

Now Lara Croft was comforted by Xochiquetzal the Aztec Goddess of childbirth and pregnancy who told her that it is not much longer now. So then Lara walked to the next area and then

Week 40

So now Lara was in huge chamber and I had to move up to the end of it. There was also tribes of Cueyatl the frog warriors in this area and Lara Croft had to face them off with her weapons and arms. There was many of these frog warriors in different parts of this maze like structure and Lara kept running into them and having to fight them while performing puzzles or lining up jumps. Then the door opened to the next area and Lara Croft waddled through it this are was covered in skeletons and bones the amongst those bones Tzitzimitl appeared and it was at that moment I realised these are Tzitzimitl the creatures that protect Pregnant women but also are dangerous in times of instability. Which one was with these fellows I wondered to myself aloud. They were coming after Lara but to hurt her or help her I didn’t want to find out and move her as fast as she would go out of this area.

When Lara was safe again she suddenly stopped and screamed in agony and cried in pain and then thought that Lara had gone into labour at last but she moved around a bit the contractions stopped. It was then I realised that this was Braxton-Hicks or practice labour and Lara still had longer to go. I was wondering why Lara hadn’t gone into a labour yet then I remembered hearing that very athletic women like go into labour later I new this because I had been reading up on this stuff because of this hack so I could make sure that Lara gets through her pregnancy smoothly.

Then Lara had to move onwards she as she is being chased by serpents being coming out of the sky. It was then I realised that these were the The Centzon Mimixcoa and they were probably here to kill Lara so I got her waddle away at top speed. She reached a place of safety as she was guided by Xochiquetzal to reach the next area but this wasn’t much better and there was stomach swamps again that were consuming animals. These were the most difficult to avoid than they ever had been before. Then a giant stomach swamp emerged it was the king of all stomach swamps and I had to get Lara to avoid the acid it shot at her and also the jaws of the stomach that were trying to grab and eat her. This was a hard battle just as hard as the mother lung tree and took all of Lara’s weapons to take it down. Then a giant creature emerged from the stomach swamp and it was a giant Cueyatl with a huge mouth and huge tongues and huge range of teeth. This was hardest battle yet and it took all the weapon’s damage and laughed them off but Lara keeped fighting. After almost dying several times and almost running out of ammo I found where I need to hit thing and Lara got a full ammo recharge and she hit it with all weapons including the pregnancy related weapons like the sonic kicks and the breast milk gun. This destroyed it and then the last level was over…right? WRONG!

Week 41

WEEEEK $! How could it be this is just not possible why make Lara suffer more of this pregnancy just let give birth just end her suffering all ready! She already has the pain of labour to go through but now another week on top of that! This like the tortures of Hades or #that dude that had to push the blouder up only for it to come down again. Now Lara had to waddle herself through an entire Aztec town and fight all kinds of creatures. It was good that it gave you plenty of ammo and the wave gun had been upgraded to fire Braxton-Hicks pains. But there was so much palaces Lara had to go in this city and she kept having false contractions now and again so she kept having to stop and scream in pain while exploring this place. There is not much to say about this level apart from it very long like a really long Tomb Raider Level. And it was also raining blood throughout most of it and the sky was blood red there was dark black and blood red lighting that lit out the night. The level ended at the pit of giant and mean giant Aztec pyramid that is probably higher than Mount Everest.

Week 42

This level was hell on earth and not doom 2 hell on earth because that would be cool but actual torture. There was so big level and Lara Croft had to slowly waddle up those steps fighting baddies on the way up and there was enemies from all previous levels that she had to fight and more Aztec monsters along with other monstrous monsters. Then she reached the top at least after doing a boss rush of previous bosses as well. Then she reached the top and this bloody jelly fell out from between her legs and landed on the floor. The blood raining from the sky got more intense and lighting was striking fucking everything. Lara was getting more pains and agony and contraction in he huge belly and for every contraction another lighting struck and a another tortured soul screamed for damnation. There was demonic chanting and Aztec rituals of bloody sacrifice on high. Then all the women that were in the hospital all these badass women that were either heavily pregnant or giving birth in the hospital stage were there now mothers waiting for the birth of the one of all evil the one who claim the soul of the motherfucking earth. Then Lara’s contraction became 15 minutes apart and then 10. The lighting was still striking with every contraction and every time a demon screamed or monster roaed or a ground cracked open. Then Lara unleashed an ocean of life from her vagina causing labour to start!!!! The figure of the high Aztec priestess stood over her and it was none other than Jacqueline Natla and she must have been behind all this conspiracy and pregnancy of famous video game badass women to birth the ultimate evil.


Labour part 1

Lara was having regular painful contraction and she screaming and pushing and the Jacqueline Natla was watching in glee and kept checking to see the birth of the evil one. At this stage Lara is in early phase and she is having short contractions then Jacqueline Natla made a spell on Lara so that her soul emerges from her body to do battle with the great sprit while her body goes through labour without her.

It was good to control normal slim Lara Croft again even though this is just her spirit and then the sky went blood red and thunder and lighting got more intense and Giygas theme started and a giant evil appeared it was like a demon monster baby but with evil eyes. Because this is Lara sprit she can’t use pregnancy based weapons and so has to rely on her normal weapons. This was the final battle and hardest fight in the game Lara was shooting at the monster and it was trying to down her in blood or strike her with lighting and destroy her with blood lazars. This required all my tomb raider skills and I had to shoot it with all the weapons Lara had. When ever time I landed a hit Lara’s mortal seemed to progress through labour more. Then it hit Lara and took of health and I actually felt pain in real life at this damage done to Lara. The game hurt me every time Lara got hurt by the boss. So that means that if Lara dies in this fight I will die in real life!!!!!!!!!

I didn’t want to die so tried shutting the computer or the game off but it wouldn’t turn off no matter how hard I tried. So I was determined to beat the beast so that Lara could have her baby and I could not die with this game causing my death. Though it would be strange how people would react to someone being killed by a video game. I fought with all my might and all my tomb raider skills. It was the most epic boss battle I have ever fought in my life as a gamer and it was so hard and intense that I really did think I was going to die.

The contractions of Lara’s physical body were now 5 minutes apart. When major damage happened to the beast Lara Croft’s physical body dilated more and so I kept damaging it with Lara’s weapons doing more and more damage. Then Hathor and Xochiquetzal provided Lara with spiritual weapons to do damage to this great monster and I got Lara to shot it with them doing fantastic amounts of damage. The Lara on the birth alter was dilating more and more and Jacqueline Natla was ecstatic and looking through Lara’s legs to see how far she had progressed. The monster was defeated and Lara’s physical body was now fully dilated but then the monster emerged AGAIN. Now in its second form the Transition form, in this form Lara had to hold off hit the monster and instead hide from attacks that it was doing to her. IF Lara damaged it in this form it would cause Lara physical birthing body to push and that would be too early and it might hurt Lara’s cervix. So I had to wait and avoid attacks and now when Lara’s sprit form got hurt it would not only damage Lara and cause me pain IRL but also cause Lara physical body to vomit or shake violently.

Throughout this labour you could see Jacqueline Natla monitoring the labour with a Doppler sonicaid and looking at labour charts.

Then that stage was over with and sprit Lara could fight the beast again on her own terms. Now it was clear that Lara Croft’s physical body was getting a huge sensation of fullness in her vagina and a massive urge to push. The beast had taken a new form it looked like a cross between the rake and red from the Godzilla pasta and a baby. When sprit Lara shot at it the physical Lara pushed but I had to time this with her contractions that were coming slightly less often now or else it would do damage to Lara and me. This made one really though boss battle because it would do all kinds of insane attacks on Lara and she couldn’t fight back until the physical Lara was having contractions and then she could do damage. It was so hard not having to attack until then what with it hurting me in real life when it hit Lara and all. The physical Lara Croft kept switching positions with each major damage done to the boss. She went from laying down to on all fours to squatting etc. Then Jacqueline Natla was giving this Lara encouragement and helping her bear down. The various video game women badasses were also cheering Lara on. Then as the beast got to it’s last hip points I could see that physical Lara’s minge is getting stretched to breaking point. Then physical Lara was told to stop by Jacqueline Natla and the beast tried to attack spiritual Lara with everything it had in a disparate attempt to kill her and she took the full blow of attacks and the health bar was near zero and I was so pain that I thought that I had died as well but Hathor and Xochiquetzal restored Lara to full health so this was part of the game that was meant to be unavoidable. Then physical Lara was told to bare down again and spiritual Lara fired at the monster and did massive damage. Now physical Lara was crowning and the head became more and more visible with every damage done to the monster. When the monster was almost dead the baby’s head became fully visible and Jacqueline Natla was able to pull it the baby out fully just as spiritual Lara dealt the final blow to the monster. Except the monster came back in a third final crippled form that was not a threatening but still dangerous. The battle was much like before and this time physical Lara was birthing the placenta to compete the birth. I got spirituals Lara to once again avoided the monsters attacks and attacked when physical Lara was contracting. This went smoothly and the monster went down for good.

Now Lara had fully given birth, the cord was cut and she took the placenta and ate it like a wild wolf.

The baby was given to her and she breast fed it and the baby drank greedily and as this took place Lara looked at the screen with the most horrifying face. The most demonic evil face and she was laughing and laughing with the most evil deranged laugh you could think a woman could emit. The other badass women were chanting and saying evil words the babies they were holding now had hyper realistic blood red eyes that stared into the soul. It was clear that these badass women were impregnated by demons and made to go through all the horrible and strange and humiliating aspects of pregnancy to birth these evil babies just like Lara but Lara was to make be pregnant with their master and leader would lead this evil demonic race to conquer mankind. Their first evil deed was to cause all these things to happen to all these badass women and ruin their bodies and that was before they were even born. Now they were born they would do much worse and begin the final battle between good and evil. This game predicts Armageddon and I am sure of it. Then the camera spans all these formally badass women with their babies and all of them are crying blood and the babies have blood red eyes. Then the camera turns back to Lara Croft who is breastfeeding this evil baby and future demon lord. She then says “thank you for helping bring his infernal majesty into this world…. Leonard!!!” and was taken back “That’s my name I thought” and then the baby took its head away from Lara’s breasts and started laughing with monstrous evil cackling that got louder and louder until it was deafening and so did Lara laughing that evil laugh that was getting to defaming pitch. Then the computer screen went black and I couldn’t get it to turn on again. I was recovering from this ordeal when I saw something move from behind me and looked back. What I saw then made me scream at the top of my lungs it was an action figure of Lara Croft heavily pregnant with blood running from her eyes! This is why I will never play another Tomb Raider game again. I couldn’t get the computer to turn back on or get disk out even know I am an expert when it comes to computers. So I eventually took it to PC World and they got the disk out for me and restored my computer. When I got the game in my hands I tried to destroy it and snap it but it would always reappear so eventually I sold it. I never knew what happened to it after that.

Sot that’s my story and I know you won’t believe me but that’s you’re privilege but just watch out for the coming of the evil ones when they’ll be a mass pregnancy amongst badass women like Lara Croft. Then we know when judgment day is near. I regret selling this game because I should have really sent it to Vatican who would know how to deal with things like this I hope that if you my fellow reader come across this game that you send it straight to the Vatican or the Dali Lama or any other holy man. The world needs to be prepared for the coming of this evil.

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