Liquid Ass

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  NSFW WARNING

This page is not safe for work or school. The content of this story is not suitable for some audiences, and may be inappropriate to view in some situations.
...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

As a kid living up in Southern Washington state, I became hooked on playing pranks on people in my local area. I did fake blood pranks, falling pranks, and even elevator pranks too. I then realized that I wanted to increase my prank-doing life to the next level by doing fart pranks. So I went online and searched for a brand new product, which is a type of fart spray called Liquid ASS. The company was apparently from Ohio according to their history on the site for Liquid ASS. The only problem about me and my family, is that we have a little bit of low income, and we can only afford an HD TV on an average. But luckily I had to enough to buy some Liquid ASS, with the help of my paren't s PayPal account, for my fart pranks I will now be doing in downtown Camas. After 24 hours, it finally arrived in the mail the next day.

When my Liquid ASS arrived in the mail, it arrived in a package that had grease stains completely covered on it, and it looked like the address had been scribbled in a sharpie marker. At first I thought it probably just had something to do with the delivery, but then I proceeded with opening the package anyway. Anxious to see what is inside this package. But however according to the site, it claimed that the package would come in a plastic bag, but instead it came in a paper bag, and instead of Liquid ASS it was Bad Karma. Which there's really no difference between Bad Karma and Liquid ASS, because it's the same product with just a different name. Then I attempted to try it out on my big sister. First I test-smelled it to see if it's the right product. I smelled it, but instead of extreme ass crack smell, it smelled like a corpse and blood. At this point I really started freaking out and wanted to really get to the bottom of this whole thing to see what was happening with the delivery and/or the package transportation.

So I went online and clicked on, "Customer Service" which the text had been colored in blood red with blood dripping from it. This is not usual to how the site usually is though, and at this point I really started to get creeped out to the bone matter. Once I navigated myself to the customer service of the site, instead of a FAQ, it was just a bunch of disturbing images that had been hacked directly into the site. The first image was a child holding a bottle of Liquid ASS in a stuck elevator with bleeding eyes. The second image was the Prank VS. Prank couple doing the April Fools Prank all dead on the floor in a pool of blood with their intestines ripped out, and their cat grieving tears of blood. The third image was the town in Ohio where the headquarters is completely bombed with a bottles of Liquid ASS scattered all over the place, with a text in Esperanto that translates to, "All pranksters are dead. You will be too. One day you'll regret this."

I instantly took my computer and my bottle of Liquid ASS and smashed it to bits. Then I went into the bathroom to throw up to find that my face has been completely melted and deformed. Then I let out a scream as I ran out of the room bleeding from my eyes.

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