Love betrayal

Ever got a sensation in your fingertips while holding a weapon? I have... ever been close to murdering someone until they were nothing but a trash- heap made of flesh, fragile tissue and blood?

I have....

It's been three days; nobody has seemed to notice a difference in me. Of course being trapped in this fucking room with no social contact with the outside world has been pretty rough since I got locked up in this asylum... and of course the doctors not giving a fuck is pretty brutal.

But before I was locked up, I was a fairly good teenager I may not have been the nicest guy around but I wasn't the dumbest at least... the most I can say is I'm pretty smart... not smart enough though cause if I was they never would have found that body, if I just hid it well enough

So nobody could find the remains of her I wouldn't be in this place but hey what the fuck are you gonna do? It's a hard life with so many twists and turns you never know what to expect.

This room, this place these doctors, these people, these voices in my head telling me to kill myself, and atmosphere! It's all madness I tell you! Madness! I never asked for this. But as of today I am writing this as my last words to this fucking trap we call a "World" and as a bonus I'll give you a little "Insight" on my life my name is Samuel here's my fucking story.

Growing up things weren't exactly... what's the word I'm looking for? Ah yes great, at home sure I had loving parents... well if you call a sick and twisted bastard of a father, and a lying cheating whore of a mother "Loving" then I guess my fucking life was made!

Mommy was always gone away on work; sometimes she'd bring work home they were fairly nice men though at least.

Daddy was always gambling and throwing away our money on drugs.

One day mommy brings some work home his name was James. But for some reason when he walked into our house he didn't do anything with mommy they just talked and daddy well you can say he was on vacation. Now mommy kept talking with the nice man, and well since daddy's gone for a while mommy could get to work, but before she got the job done they went for a walk. Now a little description of the area I live in, it's an old trashed house with paint chipping off and cracked windows that were practically broken, surrounded by trees. It's a very rural area, now not too far away there's a creek which you can see from my bedroom window. Now back to what mommy and James are doing, I watched what happened through my window, James had pulled something out of his back pocket he ended up using it to hit mommy on the back of the head, knocking her down he then proceeded to put duct tape over her mouth so she couldn't scream. I watched in horror with tears streaming down my cheeks as he ripped off her clothes and took of his belt and tied her up with it, he took off his pants and.... Well I think you get the idea he killed her then ditched her body somewhere, although I'm not quite sure where... He never came back.

Soon daddy came home and hurt me he kept doing it and doing it for years, until I ran out of the house. Now I was living in an abandoned house I found not too far from my school, Soon I met a girl I fell in love with. Her wavy golden hair, her beautiful sea glass green eyes and her stunning smile, every guy in school wanted her I didn't blame them... I wanted her too; fast forward a week later my obsession with her only grew stronger. So I did what any guy would do I asked her out... she accepted and soon she became my girlfriend, oh how the other guys envied me! I was ecstatic especially since I had such a beautiful woman in my life. Things were looking up... or so I thought, a while later another man swept her off her feet and she broke up with me... for another man! I stood outside her window for hours at night screaming that I still loved her, crying until my eyes fell out of my skull she called the cops a few times. I couldn't take it anymore all the hatred fueled my fire inside I was in rage... I grabbed an old rusty knife I found in the kitchen of the abandoned house and proceeded to walk to where she lived, I finally made it to her place and looked up at her window, I saw her beautiful face again I missed the taste of her luscious lips, the softness of her laughter, I knew I did what had to be done. I walked inside of her house and she ran down the stairs thinking it was her parents, she stopped dead in tracks when she saw me, I looked at her with tears streaming down my face and asked her "Why don't you love me anymore? I still love you! I miss you! Please... take me back..."

She ran back up the stairs and I chased her I ended up catching her and pinned her down, she screamed and squirmed around. Soon I found her spitting blood out and looking at me with tears in her eyes I stabbed her again, and again and again then I picked her up and dropped the knife, I took her to her room and set her down on the bed, I then kissed her passionately

"I love you Jolene.... I love you so much beautiful" I said to her while tears streamed down my cheeks as I held her.

"Why don't you love me anymore? I-I love you still, was it something I said? Something I did? I-I can change darling! I can change!" I said to her corpse.

I looked at her in rage "WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ME?!" I screamed as I stabbed her again

"N-no stop bleeding don't die my love!" I tried to stop the bleeding, but then I remembered she was already dead... I had to hide the body, somewhere some place! So, I took her body to the creek where my mother was killed, I wrapped her body in the blood soaked blankets and sheets; Then I threw her body in and watched it float away.

Her parents got home and found her gone with blood all over her room. They knew me and our past, they also know that I would stand out her window and yell things, I was the first suspect.

I ran to a different neighborhood, where I heard the voices...

"Help..."

"Suicide...."

"Death...."

"You hurt us..."

"YOU KILLED ME!"

"Die..."

"Worthless..."

"Mistake..."

I have had enough "SHUT UP LEAVE ME ALONE!"

I shouted. I woke the whole neighborhood; eventually a man about in his early twenties came to me and asked:

"Hey buddy, you okay?"

I didn't see him as himself, so I panicked it was like I was a child again

"Daddy where's mommy, why did that man rape her and kill her?"

He was shocked, and replied

"I'm not your dad buddy..."

"Daddy is mommy coming back?"

He looked at me

"Where are your parents?"

I shook in fear

"Who are you?"

He said to me

"I'm Anthony"

"...."

I didn't know what to do... I saw something not human like, whatever it was, was back from the dead, I screamed, soon I woke up in this fucking asylum, apparently the cops identified the blood on my clothes as hers and found her body, as well as the fact I'm mentally unstable according to that Anthony guy, that's what ended me up in the asylum, a few weeks I was still hearing the voices in my head, still seeing things. All the electric shock therapy, all the medication, it's not working...

This is the beautiful life I lived; now it's time I went to sleep....

Samuel R. Mooney, 1990-2007

Cause of death: suicide, overdose of sleeping pills.

Family: Unknown.

Last words: "It's time I went to sleep..."

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