MEDIC!
Try not to let this one bother you too much. It's a long story.
My name is Edgar, and I'm a PC gamer, and I've been playing this game called Team Fortress 2 for a while. Until about a few days ago, I've been playing it whenever I had spare time. I would play it after I got done with homework, after dinner, before bed, when I woke up in the morning, you name it. Now, however, I need to warn other people about this...rather sinister side of the game.
I booted TF2 up like normal and decided to use the "Offline Practice" mode with automated bots. I set the number of bots to 24 and set the mode to "Expert", just like I always did. I picked the Payload game mode. This is when things started to get weird.
I saw a map called "pl_stalingrad_v7". I was kind of rattled, since I've never seen this map before. The game had an update recently, so I figured it was a new map that was added in with the update. I selected the map and it loaded up. The map looked nearly identical to "pl_upward", but I paid no heed to it and selected Pyro as my class.
There were 12 bots on the RED team, my opponents, but the only person on my team was a Medic. Instead of having the default weapons like a normal bot does, this Medic was wielding a Blutsauger, a Kritzkrieg, and an Übersaw. I was somewhat shaken at this point, but I decided to move on.
After the gates opened, I immediately went for the cart and pushed it for a few measly seconds before I was being hit with a barrage of rockets and grenades from Soldiers and Demomen. I hit my "E" button, yelling "MEDIC!"
But the Medic was idle.
He didn't seem to be responding to my voice commands, so I yelled "MEDIC!" again, only this time, the Medic said "Ze healing is not as rewarding as ze hurting," before the server automatically enabled friendly fire and the Medic had killed me with a swift cut from his Übersaw.
I respawned as Scout this time, and I tried pushing the cart once more, and an ÜberCharged Heavy appeared out of the corner of my vision. I got riddled with bullets yet again, and once more I proceeded to yell out "MEDIC!" This time, the Medic obliged, healing me to full health while pushing the cart with me.
About 20 seconds later, while trying to fight off countless enemy Medics, Engineers, and Demomen, a voice, presumably the Spy's, burst my speakers as he exclaimed, "The cart is supposed to move FORWARD!"
I looked behind me, and I indeed saw the cart was moving backwards, as we hadn't pushed it for more than 20 seconds. I decided to try going as a Heavy this time while pushing the cart, but I was frankly not good at this game when it came to dodging shrapnel. Once again, I yelled for the Medic to come heal me, but I was greeted with a freeze cam of the friendly Medic killing me and immediately performing the Schadenfreude afterwards, laughing at my untimely misfortune.
The fuck? I was legitimately suspicious at this point. For some reason, though, I felt as if I was a completionist today, so I forced myself to keep playing, as much as I didn't want to.
Then, out of nowhere, the Medic loudly proclaimed, "I promise I will heal you!" scaring the shit out of me, and then the Medic approached me.
It turned out that it wasn't the Medic, but an enemy Spy. The Spy back-stabbed me, killing me instantly. "You are...STUPID!" I heard the Medic grumble in disgust.
I was getting irritated and creeped out now, and decided to use the "Jeers" voice commands facing towards the Medic.
"Boooooo!"
"Too many little men on this team!"
"Entire team is babies!"
"Stupid, stupid, stupid!"
I was ready to shout profanities at the Medic, but before I could, the Medic let out a bloodcurdling "You are trying my patience!"
In the midst of all this, the Medic began to...transform...?
He now had the appearance of the "Voodoo-Cursed Medic Soul," which was an actual cosmetic in the game. Then, in a distorted voice, he said "Prognosis? Haha! You're dead!" right before my game crashed, saying "hl2.exe has stopped working."
I opened my browser and looked up the profile of the bot, although I doubted that I would get anything.
But I indeed did get something.
I found the Medic's profile, the exact same one that I had just been playing with. He had been on Steam since April 1st, 1999. The exact same date that Team Fortress Classic had been released. I refreshed the page, only to find text saying that the profile didn't exist.
I closed out of Steam to be greeted with my desktop background being changed to a static image of the Medic in front of a red background, his face dripping with blood.
Yet again, I heard a distorted Medic voice, saying "Hold still. This will only sting for a moment," and "Prepare for your examination..." before my computer abruptly blue-screened.
I didn't bother restarting my computer. I mumbled profanities under my breath as I shut down my PC. I have enough shit to deal with already, and now I happen to run into this. I feel as if I want to cry.
I get up from my chair to grab a drink.
Then, in a flash, I saw him.
Him.
The Medic.
"Los weiter, dummkopf!" he said in a distorted voice, before my PC auto-restarted.
I've never played as the Medic class since that ordeal, although I still love Team Fortress 2.
That was the last time I saw him. I've been playing TF2 for a couple of years now and I never saw a glimpse of him. Every once in a while, however, I see that desktop background image in the corner of my eye...
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