Man the Very Bloody Woman Who Kills People

Once upon a time, a man named Man—who happened to be named Man—was talking to another man whom was also named Man. The man, not the other man, walked away from the other man and ran into a man. As it turns out, that man was a woman who went by the name Man. Man was all hyper-realistically bloody and Man ran back to Man.

Man said to Man, "Why does the blood look real?"

"I dunno," replied Man.

Man turned back around and she was gone. Man laughed at Man and ran over him with Man's car. Man went splat all over the pavement. Man laughed and laughed. Then, out of his rear-view mirror, he saw Man. She walked closer to him and touched the car. Car went boom. Chunks of bloody flesh that was all bloody flew everywhere. A guy across the street, his name was Man too, saw it all so the bloody woman had to kill him too. He went all bloody and bled everywhere; he made a terrible mess.

Man was all bloody and looked like a living person. She had long chocolate hair made from Hershey's bars. She was soooooooooooooooooo white that I thought she looked kinda dead. So she must be a zombie or something. She wore a long red dress with blood staining the whole thing.

It turns out... I was that Man. Now I'm dead. I still see her. She's all bloody and she's after me and she wants to kill me and she wants me dead. So now I gotta do it all over again and see if I can kill her this time...

Nope. I died again.

...

This fucking video game sucks.

I threw down the DS and went outside to get some fresh air. There was the bloody woman, Man, standing over by the mailbox across the street. A truck raced by and when she was in sight she was gone. I turn around and she's all up in my face. "WTF?! Go away, you stupid bitch!"

She just stood there. She started screaming and my head go exploded. Hyper-realistic blood spewed everywhere and I died. I saw with my eyes ('cause they still worked) that she was even more bloodier now.

Fuck my life...

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