Mary Sue - The Real Story

[Missing image: Mary Sue.png - Caption: "Some say that if you stare at this image for long enough, you realize how stupid it is."]

There was once a girl named Mary Sue. She attended school and got good grades, but she was severly tormented by bullies. They would call her "Caucasian,"  "white," and most offensively, "cracker." Mary Sue would cry to herself when she came home from school every day.

One day, Mary walked down a spooky alley and was bitten by a rat. She went insane and shooed it away. She realized that she liked shooing things away, and decided to continue with the serial shooing.

However, the shooing evolved into STABBING. That all happened when, after the final day of school,  her then-crush Randy flirted (by tickling her neck to gain attention) Mary until she passed out.

She woke up in a hospital, and found that she had a rash! She decided to grab her resting pillow and SHOVED IT DOWN HER NURSE'S THROAT. She was bleeding everywhere, and entrails started to ooze out of her belly button. She decided that she needed to escape, so she crashed through the window and skipped to her house, killing everyone in her way.

She remembered Jeff Woods, her 1st crush, and how he went insane, and because she wanted to be together with him, she poured bleach onto her body, thus turning her albino. She saw her single mother walk through the door, and she used a razor to SHAVE HER TO DEATH. She was about to walk out the door and find Jeff, but she forgot to fuck up her face. Realizing that she had no pockets, she jabbed her mother's knife on her head. It was her pocket.

After learning Jeff was in an insane asylum, she decided to bust him help with the help of her knife, which she stealthily threw at all security guards. She saw Jeff locked up, and unlocked his cell. She immediately hugged Jeff.

However, she yanked her knife and STABBED THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF HIM UNTIL HE WAS JUST BONES AND JELLY. She did this over the realization that Jeff wasn't there for her in her emotional struggle. THEN SHE PLANTED EXPLOSIVES AND BLEW UP THE INSANE ASYLUM.

Today, she is still killing because Jeff was the only thing that made her happy, and now that he's dead, she is no longer happy.

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