Metal Pipe Incident Copypasta

AITA for slamming a child in the stomach with a metal pipe at the grocery store the other day? Hear me out. I was buying my groceries as usual, and as I am checking out this beautiful can of tomato sauce, I stumbled upon a child, maybe 5 to 6 years old. He looked up at me, and asked his mom, "MOM I WANT THAT CAN OF TOMATO SAUCE!". So, I start to argue with this kid and his mom. He doesn't have the right to call dibs on anything he wants in the grocery store. If I found it first, it's MINE. I don't care what this kid's mom has to say, this kid can't just steal my rightfully owned can of tomato sauce like that. All the anger I have been holding for the past few weeks, ever since my wife left me, ever since my mother kicked me out of her house, was all let out, and I pull out my trusty metal pipe that I've been keeping in my backpack just in case, pick up the child, throw it in the air, and slam it with my metal pipe as hard as I can. The kid goes flying into the toothpaste aisle of the grocery store, crying. His mother starts screaming at me, and threatens to call the police. I don't care. I would rather keep my can of tomato sauce, it is rightfully mine. I have all the right in the world to slam him with a metal pipe. Few hours later, I was brought into the interrogation room. I did it in self-defense. I do not regret it.

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