MichaelLeroi vs Sonic.exe
In the beginning was Jacob.
Jacob was walking home from work, not a care in the world, when, ahead of him, he noticed a figure wearing a hooded robe. The figure dropped a small object in a bush and then entered a black van which sped away. Jacob knew a stereotypical cultist when he saw one, and surmised that the robed man was one of those Cult of X weirdos that had been making the news.
Over the past month or so, the cult had killed around twenty people. The police had been complete pillocks regarding the whole thing and kept hanging out with college kids instead of actually investigating the matter. Jacob knew he should be concerned after seeing one of them in the neighborhood, but when the cult had first appeared on the evening news, Matt had quipped "You mean X... MEN?" and raucous laughter had ensued. Since then Jacob had to fight down a giggle fit every time he was reminded of them. It had made his day-to-day life awkward since most of the conversation surrounding the cult revolved around the murders.
Tittering to himself, Jacob continued walking until he reached the point where the X man had been standing. A glint from the bush caught his eye. Overcome with curiosity (like the characters in the stories he yells at on his channel) he reached in and grabbed the object. It was a heavily scratched compact disk. The battered disk had "Sonic.exe" sloppily scrawled across the front.
"Hot dog!" exclaimed Jacob. "Gemma will want to see this!" Gemma was a huge Sonic fan, much like everyone else. She'd played all the classics. Sonic R, Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine, Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood, Tails' Skypatrol, Sonic the Fighters, Sonic Racing Kart, Sonic Billiards and Waku Waku Sonic Patrol Car. But she'd never played the original Sonic the Hedgehog, which Jacob baselessly assumed he was holding.
When he got home, he immediately gave the disk to Gemma in the interest of getting the plot moving.
"Sonic the Hedgehog!" Gemma och'd in excitement, "For the purposes of this story, I've never played the original Sonic the Hedgehog for the Sega Mega Drive!"
Gemma put the disk into the computer while Jacob disappeared from the rest of the story to get coffee. The game booted up normally, which was a small miracle considering the condition of the disk, and Gemma pressed enter to start a new game. As she did, the title screen turned all red and demonic and crap for a split second, but since she had blinked she'd missed the whole thing.
When the Green Hill Zone title card disappeared, Gemma saw that she was in control of Tails. Having never played the game before, she didn't think anything of it. She moved Tails to the right. After only a few seconds of running, she knew that something was off. There were no enemies to avoid. No power-ups or obstacles, either. As she continued moving to the right, the background became more macabre, with mangled 16-bit animal sprites becoming more common as she progressed.
"I didn't know Sonic 1 was edgy in this gritty, nineties kind of way." Gemma said to herself. "I thought that started with Shadow the Hedgehog."
She continued running to the right for three more minutes, with nothing changing. It was just more of the same, mindless running and grotesque imagery with no gameplay to speak of.
"Sonic the Hedgehog is boring." thought Gemma. So she turned it off and went to play Chu Chu Rocket instead.
And they lived happily ever after.
Credited to Tone Loki
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