Minecraft AI Conspiracy The Second: Difference between revisions
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I regained consciousness: |
I regained consciousness: |
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"Find Levi, he’s smexay. |
"Find Levi, he’s smexay." I knew what my mission was. I knew |
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he had to be in Germany somewhere. Oh shit, I don’t speak German. |
he had to be in Germany somewhere. Oh shit, I don’t speak German. |
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movie night in there? |
movie night in there? |
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"Oh Levi! |
"Oh Levi!" I heard a teen wail out. |
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"Ich bin dein Gott, du Hure! |
"Ich bin dein Gott, du Hure!" I heard someone else say. Oh, |
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so they were performing in front of people! That made sense. |
so they were performing in front of people! That made sense. |
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"Ich muss gestehen, Ich mag deine Sauberkeit! |
"Ich muss gestehen, Ich mag deine Sauberkeit!" The teen said |
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again. The performance was really loud, I could hear it from below the cave. It |
again. The performance was really loud, I could hear it from below the cave. It |
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was going to take me ages to climb these stairs due to the fact I weigh about |
was going to take me ages to climb these stairs due to the fact I weigh about |
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stairs. |
stairs. |
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"Wer ist da? |
"Wer ist da?" The older one said. |
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[[File:Me at 33.jpg|thumb|249x249px|Me at 33, Sexy as ever.]] |
[[File:Me at 33.jpg|thumb|249x249px|Me at 33, Sexy as ever.]] |
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"Shrek sagte mir, Sie zu finden. |
"Shrek sagte mir, Sie zu finden." I said. I looked inside |
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the cave and saw white paint was splattered all over the walls. |
the cave and saw white paint was splattered all over the walls. |
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is one. One eye on the Illuminati pyramid. |
is one. One eye on the Illuminati pyramid. |
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"Illuminati bestätigt! |
"Illuminati bestätigt!" I say. |
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"Errm, haben wir auf dem falschen Fuß gekommen. Ich bin Levi, |
"Errm, haben wir auf dem falschen Fuß gekommen. Ich bin Levi, |
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das ist Eren. Und ich war Shitlord_VII. |
das ist Eren. Und ich war Shitlord_VII." )BTW if any of these translations are inaccurate, |
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email me at: 666Illuminati666Confirmed666Gaben666@gmail.com( |
email me at: 666Illuminati666Confirmed666Gaben666@gmail.com( |
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"Sprechen Sie Englisch? |
"Sprechen Sie Englisch?" I say. |
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"Yeah why didn’t you ask? It’s a good thing there was an |
"Yeah why didn’t you ask? It’s a good thing there was an |
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English dub. Though I had to have the name on my passport changed in order for |
English dub. Though I had to have the name on my passport changed in order for |
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them to let me perform. |
them to let me perform." That helped move things along. |
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"So if I am correct you are Levi and you were Shitlord_VII? |
"So if I am correct you are Levi and you were Shitlord_VII?" |
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I ask him |
I ask him |
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"Yes. Eren was TwilightFan69. |
"Yes. Eren was TwilightFan69." That explained the noises |
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from earlier! "Now, we need to come on the ROFL COPTER, we are the chosen three |
from earlier! "Now, we need to come on the ROFL COPTER, we are the chosen three |
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who are supposed to defeat the Illuminati as commanded by thy lord Shrek. |
who are supposed to defeat the Illuminati as commanded by thy lord Shrek." We |
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hop on the ROFL COPTER as I hobble down the steps at about half a mile an hour. |
hop on the ROFL COPTER as I hobble down the steps at about half a mile an hour. |
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At the ripe age of 33, I’m a lot less nimble than I used to be. I’m still |
At the ripe age of 33, I’m a lot less nimble than I used to be. I’m still |
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occur… |
occur… |
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"Sky, pass the fookin’ dognuts. |
"Sky, pass the fookin’ dognuts." Pewds said. |
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"K Pewds. |
"K Pewds." Sky passes Dognuts covered in budder to Pewds. |
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Pewds takes a bite out of it. |
Pewds takes a bite out of it. |
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"Can I have some budder covered weed Sky? |
"Can I have some budder covered weed Sky?" Sky takes his |
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dick out and covers the spare cannabis in the back in budder. |
dick out and covers the spare cannabis in the back in budder. |
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"There you go Snoopz. |
"There you go Snoopz." Wait. Snoops was a good guy, why is |
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he now evilz like Microshizzle? Find out after this next fucking pointless |
he now evilz like Microshizzle? Find out after this next fucking pointless |
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part. |
part. |
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Back at the ROFL COPTER… |
Back at the ROFL COPTER… |
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"Can I ask you two something? |
"Can I ask you two something?" I say |
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"Sure, go ahead. |
"Sure, go ahead." Levi says. |
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"How did you two come to the real world from the Anime |
"How did you two come to the real world from the Anime |
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world? I can understand how Madara did because that was still inside the |
world? I can understand how Madara did because that was still inside the |
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cumpooter. |
cumpooter." |
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"Well, a portal opened up and a Skeleton popped out, and |
"Well, a portal opened up and a Skeleton popped out, and |
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then Anime characters popped out, and then a yellow triangle popped out and |
then Anime characters popped out, and then a yellow triangle popped out and |
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then…" |
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then…” |
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"ALRIGHT EREN, WE FUCKING GET IT. |
"ALRIGHT EREN, WE FUCKING GET IT." I shout. I realise I |
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shouldn’t have done as the ROFL COPTER crashes into the earth. We all somehow |
shouldn’t have done as the ROFL COPTER crashes into the earth. We all somehow |
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survive despite the fact we were about 1000 feet in the air. This must be |
survive despite the fact we were about 1000 feet in the air. This must be |
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Shrek, thank you ShrekKami-sama! |
Shrek, thank you ShrekKami-sama! |
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"Well fucking done shitty brats, you got my hair dirty. |
"Well fucking done shitty brats, you got my hair dirty." |
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Levi said. Eren carried some hair products with him which should have exploded |
Levi said. Eren carried some hair products with him which should have exploded |
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upon impact with the earth, but Bill Nye is dead so science no longer matters. |
upon impact with the earth, but Bill Nye is dead so science no longer matters. |
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speed. |
speed. |
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"DOGE! |
"DOGE!" I shout out. |
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"No I’m actually Bill Gates reincarnated into a dog. |
"No I’m actually Bill Gates reincarnated into a dog." HRY |
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SHT! THIS WAS NOT EXPECTED WHATSOEVER! WHAT A FUCKING PLAT TWISHT! |
SHT! THIS WAS NOT EXPECTED WHATSOEVER! WHAT A FUCKING PLAT TWISHT! |
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"KILL THE MOTHER FUCKER! |
"KILL THE MOTHER FUCKER!" Eren shouts before raising his |
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sword. I stop him. Getting hyper pixelated bluud on our outfits is not a good |
sword. I stop him. Getting hyper pixelated bluud on our outfits is not a good |
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idea, considering the fact that Levi would probably have another panic attack |
idea, considering the fact that Levi would probably have another panic attack |
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All of a sudden Roy Mustang appeared and said: |
All of a sudden Roy Mustang appeared and said: |
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"I LOVE DOGS! |
"I LOVE DOGS!" And started to sexually assault Bill Doge. |
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"CALM THE FOOK DOWN M9 YOU AINT JOE BLOODY HADFIELD! |
"CALM THE FOOK DOWN M9 YOU AINT JOE BLOODY HADFIELD!" I say |
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before kicking Roy in the nuts. |
before kicking Roy in the nuts. |
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"KRILL TEH MUTHAFOOKA! |
"KRILL TEH MUTHAFOOKA!" Eren once again shouts out, this |
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time no one objects. Roy’s head is decapitated and hyper animated blood flies |
time no one objects. Roy’s head is decapitated and hyper animated blood flies |
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everywhere. |
everywhere. |
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"You literally saved my ass there, thanks. Even though you’re |
"You literally saved my ass there, thanks. Even though you’re |
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now fat as fuck and you killed me in my last life. |
now fat as fuck and you killed me in my last life." Bill said. |
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"But it was actually Madara |
"But it was actually Madara who…" |
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"IDGAF! |
"IDGAF!" |
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"So, |
"So, Billy…" I start to say not realising the deliberate |
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typo I have made. |
typo I have made. |
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"THAT’S NOT MY NAME U DUM FAGIT SHITHEAD. |
"THAT’S NOT MY NAME U DUM FAGIT SHITHEAD." He rages. How the |
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fuck can he even talk? He’s a fucking dog for fucks sake. |
fuck can he even talk? He’s a fucking dog for fucks sake. |
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"Do you know any way we can get to Alaska? |
"Do you know any way we can get to Alaska?" Levi asked Bill. |
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"Actually yes I do. |
"Actually yes I do." He asks us to follow him, and we come |
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to a clearing in the woods. |
to a clearing in the woods. |
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"Stand next to me. |
"Stand next to me." We all do just that. |
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"TELEPORTATION YEAH! |
"TELEPORTATION YEAH!" Was that from fucking Sonic CD? |
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Really? What if Sonic.exe was spawn? We’d all be fucked by the plushie that |
Really? What if Sonic.exe was spawn? We’d all be fucked by the plushie that |
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would end up next to us on the bad that would look at us all with kawaii desu |
would end up next to us on the bad that would look at us all with kawaii desu |
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eyes and say: |
eyes and say: |
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"GuRl U aLrAdY kNo I wAnNa FoOk |
"GuRl U aLrAdY kNo I wAnNa FoOk U…" Seductively in our ears |
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and proceed to do just that. |
and proceed to do just that. |
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"SKY! I looked up to you when I was younger, why did you do |
"SKY! I looked up to you when I was younger, why did you do |
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this? |
this?" |
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[[File:PewdsSkySnoopIlluminati.png|thumb|220x220px|Mutahar, Sky, Snoop, and Pewds. All endorsers of Faze and NWO.]] |
[[File:PewdsSkySnoopIlluminati.png|thumb|220x220px|Mutahar, Sky, Snoop, and Pewds. All endorsers of Faze and NWO.]] |
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"Many 9-13 year olds looked up to me. It doesn’t matter now |
"Many 9-13 year olds looked up to me. It doesn’t matter now |
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tho, soon Faze will have discovered the secret to immortality. |
tho, soon Faze will have discovered the secret to immortality." |
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I gasp a mighty gasp. |
I gasp a mighty gasp. |
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"And Snoop, why did you help me fight against Bill and |
"And Snoop, why did you help me fight against Bill and |
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Madara if you were in Illuminati? |
Madara if you were in Illuminati?" I ask. |
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"Because them niggas were gonna take Faze and convert every1 |
"Because them niggas were gonna take Faze and convert every1 |
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to Optic! |
to Optic!" |
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OK now it’s fucking battle time, everyone knos Optic is |
OK now it’s fucking battle time, everyone knos Optic is |
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"I’ll take on Sky, Levi you take Pewds, Eren take Snoop, and |
"I’ll take on Sky, Levi you take Pewds, Eren take Snoop, and |
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Bill, take on that mother fucker Mutaswag! |
Bill, take on that mother fucker Mutaswag!" |
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"Right! |
"Right!" Everyone says in unison. |
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Sky attacks me using his budder dick. Well I’m now permanently |
Sky attacks me using his budder dick. Well I’m now permanently |
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I don’t know how I realise this, but I do. PLOT CONVENIENCE NO JUTSU! |
I don’t know how I realise this, but I do. PLOT CONVENIENCE NO JUTSU! |
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"I SUMMON MEGA ULTRA CHICKEN! |
"I SUMMON MEGA ULTRA CHICKEN!" All of a sudden, the room |
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lights up as CGI lightning effects can be seen. The Winged Dragon of Ra has |
lights up as CGI lightning effects can be seen. The Winged Dragon of Ra has |
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spawned. |
spawned. |
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"Good job guys, now we just need someone to dispose of the |
"Good job guys, now we just need someone to dispose of the |
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bodies. |
bodies." Just as I said that, all four of the pre-Fazeuminati members seemed to |
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suffer from exploding head syndrome, as all of their heads exploded in unison. |
suffer from exploding head syndrome, as all of their heads exploded in unison. |
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Akihiko Swaggy Usame. |
Akihiko Swaggy Usame. |
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"BUT YOU FUCKING DIED! |
"BUT YOU FUCKING DIED!" I shout. |
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"So did Bill. |
"So did Bill." He says back to me |
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"Point taken. |
"Point taken." |
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All of a sudden x 4 Rack city starts playing. |
All of a sudden x 4 Rack city starts playing. |
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"THIS IS MY FOOKING JAM! |
"THIS IS MY FOOKING JAM!" Levi shouts and starts dancing. |
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"But Lance Corporal |
"But Lance Corporal Levi…" Eren says clearly disgruntled. |
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"Fuck off shitty brat. |
"Fuck off shitty brat." |
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" |
"K…" Eren says crying while exiting the building. Great, |
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only two left to fight the fucking final effing boss of the fookin’ Loominaty. |
only two left to fight the fucking final effing boss of the fookin’ Loominaty. |
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We’re fucked. |
We’re fucked. |
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"IT WAS YOU WHO KILLED MY BAE! |
"IT WAS YOU WHO KILLED MY BAE!" Akihiko shouts. |
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"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT IT WASN’T ME, IT |
"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT IT WASN’T ME, IT |
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SNOOP! GOD! |
SNOOP! GOD!" |
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Then Shrek, Steve and Herobrine popped out. |
Then Shrek, Steve and Herobrine popped out. |
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getting the anime characters back to their specific worlds, after that we can |
getting the anime characters back to their specific worlds, after that we can |
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reset time and make you thirteen again. None of the events leading up to this |
reset time and make you thirteen again. None of the events leading up to this |
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will happen. |
will happen." Herobrine says, spawning 666 golden apples. |
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"Got it. |
"Got it." I say running over to Levi and turning off the |
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music. Bill goes to get Eren. |
music. Bill goes to get Eren. |
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everything stops. I feel a portal open in front of me. |
everything stops. I feel a portal open in front of me. |
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"Go into the portal, none of this will have ever happened. |
"Go into the portal, none of this will have ever happened." |
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Herobrine says. |
Herobrine says. |
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"Alright guys, I just want to say it’s been nice knowing you |
"Alright guys, I just want to say it’s been nice knowing you |
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all, and I hope I see you all again one day. No homo K? |
all, and I hope I see you all again one day. No homo K?" |
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"No |
"No Homo" Bill says. |
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"No |
"No Homo" Levi says. |
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"ALL OF THE HOMO! |
"ALL OF THE HOMO!" Eren says, before we all jump in, and all |
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of our experiences of the past twenty years disappear. |
of our experiences of the past twenty years disappear. |
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