It was midnight, and I really needed to pee. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but last week my dad decided to put an oversized mirror right outside my bedroom, which happens to be directly across from the bathroom that I use every night. My dad knows I have a crippling phobia of mirrors (particularly at night) and bladder issues (particularly at night), but did that stop him from putting up a giant mirror right outside my bedroom? Noooo, he just decided to be an asshole! Anyway, I really needed to pee.
I was hesitant. I didn't want to go anywhere near that creepy fucking mirror, but I really needed to pee. Finally, I gave in. I got out of bed and tip-toed across the room. I reached for the door handle and slowly, ever so slowly, turned the doorknob until the latch had fully retracted. I made sure that it retracted silently--not making a "click" sound in the process. As I opened the door, the hinges made a loud creaking noise.
"GODDAMNIT," I shouted indignantly.
I slammed the door open in frustration. That frustration was quickly replaced with fear as I found myself standing face-to-face with my own reflection. The reflection seemed...off. My doppelgänger's facial expression did not reflect mine; it did not look even remotely frightened. Rather, it seemed threatening--almost sinister. It was like I was looking at a completely different person, yet it was still unmistakably my own reflection. That made it all the more disconcerting. I was about to turn away from the mirror when the face began to contort into a horrible, nightmarish grin. At this point, I was so utterly terrified I hardly noticed (or cared) that I had just soiled myself. My doppelgänger began to speak in a demonically low baritone that literally shook the room. It uttered the words "WELCOME TO DIE" and the mirror exploded and then a skeleton popped out and killed me so hard I went to Double Hell and Double Satan said go to Lleh Elbuod I said what's that he said it's like Double Hell but backwards I said so what he said so MIRRORS I said NOOOOOOO and Double Satan laughed then he revealed he was my dad I said curse you Dad then I was dragged to Lleh Elbuod until I remembered I had a double-decker bologna sandwich in my pocket which I used to defeat Double Satan once and for all and escape Lleh Elbuod and that's how I got over my fear of mirrorssrorrim fo reaf ym revo tog I woh s'taht dna doublE helL epacse dna lla rof dna ecno nataS elbuoD taefed ot desu I hcihw tekcop ym ni hciwdnas angolob rekced-elbuod a dah I derebmemer I litnu doublE helL ot deggard saw I neht daD uoy esruc dias I dad ym saw eh delaever eh neht dehgual nataS elbuoD dna OOOOOOON dias I SRORRIM os dias eh tahw os dias I sdrawkcab tub lleH elbuoD ekil s'ti dias eh taht s'tahw dias I doublE helL ot og dias nataS elbuoD dna lleH elbuoD ot tnew I drah os em dellik dna tou deppop noteleks a neht dna dedolpxe rorrim eht dna "EID OT EMOCLEW" sdrow eht derettu tI .moor eht koohs yllaretil taht enotirab wol yllacinomed a ni kaeps ot nageb regnängleppod yM .flesym delios tsuj dah I taht (derac ro) deciton yldrah I deifirret ylrettu os saw I ,tniop siht tA .nirg hsiramthgin ,elbirroh a otni trotnoc ot nageb ecaf eht nehw rorrim eht morf yawa nrut ot tuoba saw I .gnitrecnocsid erom eht lla ti edam tahT .noitcelfer nwo ym ylbakatsimnu llits saw ti tey ,nosrep tnereffid yletelpmoc a ta gnikool saw I ekil saw tI .retsinis tsomla--gninetaerht demees ti ,rehtaR .denethgirf yletomer neve kool ton did ti ;enim tcelfer ton did noisserpxe laicaf s'regnägleppod yM .ffo...demees noitcelfer ehT .noitcelfer nwo ym thiw ecaf-ot-ecaf doots I sa raef htiw decalper ylkciuq saw noitartsurf tahT .noitartsurf ni nepo rood eht demmals I
.yltnangidni detuohs I ",TINMADDOG"
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