Moose Crossing
Hello, officers. I've left thousands of copies of this note littered across the road for you to read. Where to begin, hmm? Oh, I know! I'll start with this:
I had never tasted exotic meats, until that day. I was driving to my family's home for the holiday, when I discovered that the main roads were blocked off. I had to take a detour through the forest, I saw a sign which said "Moose Crossing". "Filthy animals!" I muttered to myself, angry that I'd be late. It was dark by the time I was even close to my family's house. It was too late to stop when I saw that moose in the middle of the road, creating a grim shadow in my headlights.
I stopped the car the moment I hit the moose, I checked it for bloodflow, breathing, pulse, everything! There was none. I realized that I'd probably be facing charges for hitting the moose, so I stuffed it in my trunk. When I had to stop for gas, I carved up the moose and threw it's skin in a ditch. I brought the meat home claiming that it was Angus beef. Although my family noted that it "Tasted a little weird... kind of like deer" they loved it.
Today I'm bringing home a new meat. I hit a pedestrian by accident.
They'll love my new pork roast.
Those notes were found littered around the streets, near locations where pedestrians were reported to be involved in hit and run accidents linked to the serial killer known as "Moose-Juice". Strangely, no bodies or injured pedestrians have been found.
Credited to AlixeTiir
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