Mortal Kombat: Soul Sucker: Difference between revisions
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(Created page with "290px|right My friend Jeff got sucked too hard and now he's dead. He was found with his head pressed up the TV with his mouth agape and eyes bulging, his features wrinkled and contorted. The autopsy was unable to pinpoint his exact cause of death, but it's suggested an intense session of Mortal Kombat lead to him becoming departed. It's a shame too, 'cause I never fully reconciled with him after all these years for that fateful day...") |
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As the funeral wrapped up, I skipped the dinner and rushed to Jeff's trailer park home before Jeff's family got there to do who knows what with it. The scent of stale swamp-ass, rotten pizza and energy drinks lingered in the air as I entered the dark trailer. I flipped a light switch on, praying to the Elder Gods for the electricity to work still. "And let there be light..." I said soon as the lights came on. I hurried over to the TV and saw the PlayStation still plugged in, untouched since Jeff's untimely death. I picked up the controller and it felt oddly warm still. It was like Jeff was still here with me. "Don't worry buddy, I'll get to the bottom of why the game killed you. The reason better be good!" I took my phone out and set it against the coffee table facing the TV, live streaming to Twitch. I hope my 2 followers tune in. |
As the funeral wrapped up, I skipped the dinner and rushed to Jeff's trailer park home before Jeff's family got there to do who knows what with it. The scent of stale swamp-ass, rotten pizza and energy drinks lingered in the air as I entered the dark trailer. I flipped a light switch on, praying to the Elder Gods for the electricity to work still. "And let there be light..." I said soon as the lights came on. I hurried over to the TV and saw the PlayStation still plugged in, untouched since Jeff's untimely death. I picked up the controller and it felt oddly warm still. It was like Jeff was still here with me. "Don't worry buddy, I'll get to the bottom of why the game killed you. The reason better be good!" I took my phone out and set it against the coffee table facing the TV, live streaming to Twitch. I hope my 2 followers tune in. |
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The haunting atmosphere of Mortal Kombat blared out the speakers, bringing me back to a time I wasn't even born yet. I picked Johnny Cage because I only play game characters that look like me. The first match in the tower pitted me against Sub Zero. I cringed, as I just |
The haunting atmosphere of Mortal Kombat blared out the speakers, bringing me back to a time I wasn't even born yet. I picked Johnny Cage because I only play game characters that look like me. The first match in the tower pitted me against Sub Zero. I cringed, as I just buried my best friend as Sub Zero hours ago. Maybe I should've requested they dress him as Goro and attach extra arms to him with corpses from the morgue. |
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My fingers danced across the DualShock pad as I laid the smack down on Sub Zero. "Take this, take that! Hiya!" I blurted, having the time of my life beating the ice ninja into a bloody pulp. "SUB ZERO WINS!" My face turned red. I looked over to the Twitch chat, and thankfully I had no viewers yet. For round 2 I mixed up my strategy, throwing out shadow kicks more often. I clinched my asshole as Sub Zero whipped up a chilling ice ball and hurled it straight for Johnny Cage. "JOHNNY NO!" I shouted, but it was too late. Sub Zero inched toward Johnny's frozen body and performed a gruesome fatality. Before ripping his spine out, Sub Zero turned his head toward the screen with glowing white eyes, followed by a black screen. |
My fingers danced across the DualShock pad as I laid the smack down on Sub Zero. "Take this, take that! Hiya!" I blurted, having the time of my life beating the ice ninja into a bloody pulp. "SUB ZERO WINS!" My face turned red. I looked over to the Twitch chat, and thankfully I had no viewers yet. For round 2 I mixed up my strategy, throwing out shadow kicks more often. I clinched my asshole as Sub Zero whipped up a chilling ice ball and hurled it straight for Johnny Cage. "JOHNNY NO!" I shouted, but it was too late. Sub Zero inched toward Johnny's frozen body and performed a gruesome fatality. Before ripping his spine out, Sub Zero turned his head toward the screen with glowing white eyes, followed by a black screen. |
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I tapped my feet around, light on my toes like Liu Kang. I fired an energy ball towards the elder, but he ducked it and charged for me. I pondered what Kevin Spacey would do in this situation, which made my mind sharper. "Christmas came early, punk!" I said as I did a back roundhouse kick to Shang's wrinkled face. He flung across the arena, with a comical amount of blood spilling on the ground. "Balls in your face!" I said before flinging a low energy ball, causing Shang Stung to trip back into the corner. I charged forward and spammed a flurry of jump kicks like a first grader or boomer playing Mortal Kombat. Shang had enough, giving round 1 to me. |
I tapped my feet around, light on my toes like Liu Kang. I fired an energy ball towards the elder, but he ducked it and charged for me. I pondered what Kevin Spacey would do in this situation, which made my mind sharper. "Christmas came early, punk!" I said as I did a back roundhouse kick to Shang's wrinkled face. He flung across the arena, with a comical amount of blood spilling on the ground. "Balls in your face!" I said before flinging a low energy ball, causing Shang Stung to trip back into the corner. I charged forward and spammed a flurry of jump kicks like a first grader or boomer playing Mortal Kombat. Shang had enough, giving round 1 to me. |
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Shang Stung groaned, his battered body rising from the blood-soaked ground, attempting to look intimidating by cracking his neck. "Any last words before I banish your ass to the Netherrealm?" I said. "No. It is you that shall be banished!" And with that, round 2 commenced. As I thought about what Nicolas Cage would do in this situation, Nick Cage himself appeared before me. Blinking hard a |
Shang Stung groaned, his battered body rising from the blood-soaked ground, attempting to look intimidating by cracking his neck. "Any last words before I banish your ass to the Netherrealm?" I said. "No. It is you that shall be banished!" And with that, round 2 commenced. As I thought about what Nicolas Cage would do in this situation, Nick Cage himself appeared before me. Blinking hard a few times, my eyes did not deceive me. It was truly the one and only Nicolas Cage. "I should be playing Johnny Cage, not this bozo." "Yo Shang what's the hold up, is this a leaked character for MK12 or something?" That's when Nicolas vanished and Shang Stung appeared in his place, with an evil grin. My heart skipped a beat. "Right... You can literally transform into anyone." That's when Shang transformed into a dead-man walking... Jeff Fraglemen. |
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I raised my sunglasses up and went to approach him as he stood there like a statue. "Jeff?" Jeff grabbed a hold of my arm tightly, twisting it in a crushing grip. I stared deep into his eyes... realizing those weren't his eyes. Jeff flung me into the corner on his side of the screen, draining a lot of my HP. "This is for taking my last Oreo!" I said before shadow-kicking fake-Jeff in the jaw, causing a shower of fake teeth to fly out. I retaliated with a barrage of energy balls, bombarding the imposter Jeff with relentless force, determined to protect my dignity and, more importantly, the memory of my last Oreo. |
I raised my sunglasses up and went to approach him as he stood there like a statue. "Jeff?" Jeff grabbed a hold of my arm tightly, twisting it in a crushing grip. I stared deep into his eyes... realizing those weren't his eyes. Jeff flung me into the corner on his side of the screen, draining a lot of my HP. "This is for taking my last Oreo!" I said before shadow-kicking fake-Jeff in the jaw, causing a shower of fake teeth to fly out. I retaliated with a barrage of energy balls, bombarding the imposter Jeff with relentless force, determined to protect my dignity and, more importantly, the memory of my last Oreo. |
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"You did it! You beat the game! You got me out! I knew I could count on you!" Goro said, hugging me tightly with his bottom set of arms. "What the hell's going on?" I asked of the beast. "It's me, Jeff! I tried taking on Shang Stung as Goro, which was a big mistake since I didn't know his moves that well." "Y-you're Jeff?" "Yes! Just like how you picked Johnny Cage and now you're still Johnny. I picked Goro, and I'm still Goro!" "Are we stuck like this forever?" "Maybe, but who cares! I'm just thankful to be alive. Say, why don't we go get some Oreos?" |
"You did it! You beat the game! You got me out! I knew I could count on you!" Goro said, hugging me tightly with his bottom set of arms. "What the hell's going on?" I asked of the beast. "It's me, Jeff! I tried taking on Shang Stung as Goro, which was a big mistake since I didn't know his moves that well." "Y-you're Jeff?" "Yes! Just like how you picked Johnny Cage and now you're still Johnny. I picked Goro, and I'm still Goro!" "Are we stuck like this forever?" "Maybe, but who cares! I'm just thankful to be alive. Say, why don't we go get some Oreos?" |
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Suddenly, a van of miserable people pulled up to the destroyed trailer. But not just any van of miserable people, it was Jeff's family. " |
Suddenly, a van of miserable people pulled up to the destroyed trailer. But not just any van of miserable people, it was Jeff's family. "Holy moly! Call the National Guard, a naked giant just destroyed Jeff's trailer!" Jeff's dad cried. "Uh oh, gotta run!" Jeff said before stomping off into the forest. I really, really hope he finds clothing his size. Jeff's family drove off, followed by an ambulance pulling up. |
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"Hey, I'm fine," I said to the EMS workers, but they ignored me and went straight for the rubble. Underneath the debris laid my old body, which like Jeff's, looked like someone sucked it too hard. "Hey wait a minute, that's my body!" I said as they strapped my corpse to the gurney. "This young man is dead. His family will be devastated." |
"Hey, I'm fine," I said to the EMS workers, but they ignored me and went straight for the rubble. Underneath the debris laid my old body, which like Jeff's, looked like someone sucked it too hard. "Hey wait a minute, that's my body!" I said as they strapped my corpse to the gurney. "This young man is dead. His family will be devastated." |
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