Mr. Dirty
The old, rotten flea market in my city was shutting down, and was having a clearance sale. Don't ask me where they got any of their products from, because it had things that I've never seen anywhere else before. The place was kind of creepy, actually. It always smelled like mold and the lights buzzed and flickered constantly. The bathroom was always out of order, too, meaning the employees simply pissed their pants on the floor, or held it in all day. The smell was terrible. Maybe it was for the best that they were removing it (they were putting in another McDonald's in its place soon; the 6th one in town) and getting rid of all that weird junk.
Just for kicks, I went in there one last time to browse. Immediately, I saw a table with strange items on it near the entrance, such as a padlock with a rusty chain attached to it, and a Garfield plush that was stained and had his tail ripped off.
I noticed a bottle of cleaner that looked very familiar somehow. The first thing that struck me was the image on the front. Was that Mr. Clean? What happened to him? He didn't resemble a human being anymore. He looked like a half-paralyzed alien that just had a minor stroke, and then soiled himself. It was disturbing, to say the least.
Another strange addition to the cover was the title of the product. "Mr. Dirty" is what it said. What on earth were they thinking with that name? Of course, I always thought the product was called "Mr. Clean"... but the fact that they called it Mr. Dirty is just gross. What idiot would buy this bottle of crap?
Well, I guess I was that idiot, because I had picked up the bottle and walked it all over the store with me as I browsed the items. Some other things caught my eye around the store, such as a Harley Davidson leather jacket once worn by George Washington in 1492 (300 dollars) and a giant pair of glasses that lit up when you pressed a button on the side (10 dollars).
At the end of my shopping trip, I walked over to the angry-looking lady behind the counter. I think her name was Shaboob or something. I probably wasn't ever going to see her again, so I tried to look as friendly as possible for our last meeting. Her glazed eyes darted over to me when I approached.
"Yeah?"
"I'm ready to check out now." I replied.
"Ok."
She picked up my Mr. Dirty cleaner and stared at it for a long time, and then slipped it into a bag without a word. I thought she was about to say something, but I didn't pry on it. She did however, comment on the sex toy that I found in the clearance section.
"And who's this for?" she asked with a piercing stare.
"Friend of mine..." I said with a smile. She didn't smile back at me, but her eyes widened as she put it into the bag.
"15.80" she said to me with a grimace.
"Okay... here."
I gave her a twenty dollar bill, because I didn't want to use my credit card. She gave me the change and waved a bit, still unsmiling, but I wasn't done yet.
"What is WITH this bottle, anyway?" I asked, pulling Mr. Dirty out of the bag and showing it to her again.
"I don't know," she replied, shaking her head. "Probably just a cheap import from a foreign country. Looks like a practical joke."
"Okay," I said, slipping it back in. "Well, I'm gonna go now. Have a good day."
"Yep." she said, rolling her eyes.
After leaving the store, I got into my car and began the trek home. It didn't take long, but my conversation with the cashier echoed in my brain the whole trip, and I kept glancing at the bag. When I got out, I saw my little brother outside on his phone.
"Hey," I said to him. He only waved a bit, but said nothing.
I walked into the house and took Mr. Dirty out of the bag and set it on the counter. I wrapped the toy I had bought with it in another bag and hid it under my bed in a box. When I walked out, I saw my brother holding the Mr. Dirty bottle and looking at it.
"What is this??" He said with enthusiasm. "The hell is this??"
"Give me that," I said, swiping it out of his hands. "I'm using it."
He shook his head and walked back towards his room, still looking at his phone.
I suddenly had the idea of cleaning my bathroom with the Mr. Dirty product. I picked it up, grabbed a rag, and went towards it, but something felt wrong. Like I shouldn't have been about to do this. Actually, I felt sort of sick. But instead of stopping, I pressed on, and went into the bathroom. I turned the lights on, and sat it on the counter. I unscrewed the lid, and saw that there was an aluminum seal underneath it, but what bothered me was that there was a big black X across the top, like it had been recalled and the seller was saying "DO NOT OPEN!" with that X.
I shook it off. I wished I hadn't. Right when I opened the seal, a horrible smell filled the bathroom. It smelled something like sewage and mold and filthy water mixed together. I gagged. I quickly took the bottle and began to dump it down the sink, and the smell became even more potent. My eyes were watering. It was awful. I started rinsing it down with water, and something strange began to happen. I noticed a mass of black sludge blocking the water flow. I shut the lights off in the bathroom just thinking to myself that it would probably go away on its own, later.
Two hours later, I found out how wrong I was. My little brother went to use the bathroom and he started shouting for me.
"Chris!! Chrissss!! There's a black hand in the sink!!"
"A what??" I yelled, running over to him, and before I could look into the bathroom, the black hand had grabbed my brother's arm.
"Aaahhh! Get it off me!! Get it off me!!!!!"
I started to hear demonic laughter, almost as if there were a monster coming out of the drain. I turned on the tap, thinking that would work, but instead the entity just laughed harder. I didn't know what to do, I was so scared. Another entire arm popped out and grabbed my little brother's other wrist.
"NOOOOOO!" he screamed, and it began to pull him into the drain, like Pennywise. I couldn't move, paralyzed with horror. They both went back into the drain together. I tried to pull the stopper up, but it was stuck. He was gone, and he is now in heaven. It was all my fault. I picked up the bottle and threw it down the hallway. How the fuck could they sell a product like this in any store?
From that point on, every time my family tried to wash our hands, or do the dishes, or take a shower, the only thing that would come out of the tap was a reddish-black goop...
Written by Meaty
Content is available under CC BY-SA
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