Mr Meaty Creepypasta
This is a joke. Don't take it seriously.
Hello, my name is Josh Redgrove. My best friend is named Parker Dinkleman. My manager, a dead man that was stuck in the freezer has gone missing. His name is Edward R. Carney. Now, back to the plot.
Basically, a few days ago I started having hallucinations. I told my parents and got taken to the therapist. The therapist claimed I had schizophrenia. Oh well, guess I have to deal with voices now. Anyways, the voices tell me something about how wonderful the beaches are. Told my best friend about it, he seemed concerned.
At my job. Barked orders at someone's kid but they just stared back with amusement. People were staring at me for barking. At that point, I've starting getting traction on the internet mainly because for the fact that I was baking at some kid. Then I started getting cyber bullies.
Forward a couple days, I'm starting to get bullied. Whatever, just ignore them for now. Told my parents that I wanted ice cream but the store didn't have any. I sighed and just moved on from that.
I'm pretty sure this one song I'm listening to is some form of some experience, although whenever I tell anybody this they stare at me. Don't they understand what's happening?
My parents started fighting. My only friend betrayed me. I'm some meme template on the internet now, and I think my social life is over. The voices tell me everything will be alright. Keep going for the beaches. I keep telling my parents but they stopped caring.
Some entity straight up told me that he planned all this. I doubt it, but who knows? I honestly doubt something as scary looking as it could have that level of confidence. It might be alive. My parents keep telling me it's not alive but I don't care.
Some idiot keeps tapping their fingers to the table repeatedly.
Josh The Recolor Happens Here
This one gothic girl promised to go on a date with me, so I deep-fried her hands. We laughed a little about it, until I accidentally pushed her entirely into the fryer. I hate women.
Parker was not pleased, and quit his job that same day.
Eventually later, I saw Slenderman. He started talking to me, "Keep murdering people like that and I'll grant you whatever you wish to receive." I didn't care at this point. "Alright."
I somehow successfully deep-fried someone else, Edward Carney. Sorry I spoiled you. I successfully am now the evils. Slender granted me powers of immortality and a private beach and the ability to never get caught with anything ever again.
"I'll tell you, I have granted you a new private beach. Hear this warning, alright young man? If you choose to go with me, you'll live in a mansion." I knew I was never going to get that popular, but I accepted it just in case.
Until I successfully find a reason for my existence, I won't stop. Alright, now... Slenderman looked at me, and giggled. "You realize your entire life up until Edward went missing, was because your a tv character? Your life doesn't exist? Yeah, you'll be in a even cooler non-existent world where there are no rules!"
I've found the true definition of happiness, yet I'll be doing something else before hand. Get rid of this entire city because... teenage angst I guess?
I started trying to find a solution for this problem of mine. Until there was some dude setting up some nuclear controls in Canada, where I live.
I started obsessionally following him around.
His name is Joh Chen, a nuke operator dude. I managed to nuke my entire country, causing Canada to become similar to Pluto and go to Slenderman.
Credited to Ireallydonthaveaideaforausername
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