My new suit

I was wearing a very fine suit. It was black, with undershirt sticking out, and very magnificent folds that magnificently flapped out in the majestic breeze.

Today, I had a job interview, so I wore my very fine suit. I was in a hurry, so I couldn't even spend a moment of my life eating mega cheerios.

When I walked outside, everyone ran away from me. I was hurt. I was very hurt. Big crybaby tears bubbled out of my hyper-realistic eyes and I broke down. Then I got mad. I told them to go away. "Go away," I said. "Or I will call LOLSKELETONS for unofficial harassment of an innocent man."

So I kept strolling down the streets with people running away from me. I was now confused. Why were people scared of me? I shook my head and kept walking.

When I finally reached my interview place, the interviewer looked horrified. He screamed. He died. His secretary, who could have been a competitor for Kim Kardashian's hot-ass boobs, quickly yanked out a phone and called.

"What did I do?" I mused to myself.

Suddenly the police barged in. "Hands up sir" they say. "You are arrested for -"

"For what?" I said loudly.

Then I looked down.

What the fuck! In my haste, I had forgot to put on my pants. My long penis dangled out of my groin, and I could only just stare at it. I had a beautiful penis.

I just admire my penis.

I think you do to.

You're next. (For the penis anyway)