New Super Haunted Bros. U

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I recently bought a Wii U from Gamestop. The labels on the Wii U had said "USED", so I asked one of the co-workers in Gamestop, "How come this is the only Wii U console I've seen that has the yellow sticker and black text stuck on the box?" The co-worker, whose name was Ralph, said "Don't worry about it, just buy it and take this damn game with you too, I'm tired of it!" I looked at the box, it was New Super Mario Bros. U! But for some reason the box art looked different, the toads didn't look so happy and the baby Yoshi's looked normal like in the original box art for the game and Luigi didn't even appear on the cover. So I decided to take it and left the store but upon exiting the door one of the co workers said "You shouldn't really play that, if I were you." So I just took it as a joke, nodded and left. I came back from the store and decided to open up the Wii U first.     

When I opened it, there was no instruction manuals or anything. I only saw the cables and the Wii U, unwrapped. I finished setting up the Wii U in my room and then decided to open the box of New Super Mario Bros. U. The disk was normal. I inserted the disc into the system. I was using the game-pad as normal and chose to play the game. The main menu looked normal it almost seemed as normal but there was no music playing. I ignored this and decided to touch the game-pad's screen so I did,there was two files already used so what I did was play file 1 which was already shown as the game was cleared already. It was saved on Acorn Plains, the whole map seemed normal but the castles looked like there was blood splattered on them and the baby Yoshi's didn't seem normal once I picked them up they seemed sad and scared of what might happen to them. I went to play the first level of Acorn Plains.

I saw the baby Yoshi just standing there, sad and scared, I picked it up, but once I did, the poor baby Yoshi exploded into blood and guts into Mario's face. Mario yelled really loudly and it sounded like a real life scream and not those kind of cheap ones you would hear in video game's often, so I turned down the volume. I could still hear the screaming really loud even though the TV's volume was at 10 out of 100. I thought to myself "What kind of dark magic is this? Did someone hack this game?"

I was shocked about what happened to that poor clueless baby Yoshi. I exited the level in shock of what could happen, the screen faded to black and it loaded up Acorn Plains... on fire! Everything was incinerating, the forest had a gory color to it in the background, I could hear the crackling noises of fire burning down the trees, the smoke had a gory color as well, some of them forming the faces of Bowser, and there were dead Toad's lying around the Acorn Plains field, with their faces facing towards the screen with their eyes replaced with X's with a little smirk n their faces, and their blood was splattered on the ground and it looked like someone ripped their guts out.

I said to myself "I have enough of this...", so I quit the game and deleted File 1 and File 2, even though I haven't played file 2 yet, so I started up a new game in File 1. It started with Luigi staring into the screen like if he was staring at me like I killed 15 people, a cut scene played where Mario , Luigi, Toads and Peach were having a feast but except this time...there bodies were dead and rotting on the table and the toads had demonic eyes feasting into their bodies, and the castle's walls looked some how realistic and the blood splattered on it looked realistic also. So guess what I did? I slapped the shit out of the Wii U ejected the disc and broke it in half.

The Wii U was still on with a black screen, and a picture of a bloody Yoshi appeared fading from black, it looked like a real Yoshi action figure, and I heard the "Yoshi!" phrase that Yoshi always says in most Mario games when he's excited, except it was slowed down and distorted. After breaking the disc, I grabbed the Wii U without the cable's disconnecting and threw it against the floor,stomped on it and throwing it out the window,hoping to never get a USED Wii U console ever... All of a sudden I heard a couple of violent knocks on my front door. I rushed down stairs from my room to see who it could be. I opened the door, nobody was there, and then I saw a figure on the ground. It was a Yoshi figure, which looked exactly like the one I saw on my TV screen, and coming from the speaker on it's back, in its distorted voice it said "Yoshi!". I was mentally scarred, breathed heavily, and dropped the figure on the ground. Then, as I looked down on it, there was some writing under the Yoshi's foot which appeared to be some Sharpie marker. Looking at it closely, in small letters it said "I told you, you shouldn't have played it.". Underneath that sentence, in cursive signed "-Ralph".

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Credited to Passionate
Originally uploaded on December 31, 2012

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