Nicktoons Ü
Let me start this off by stating what's about to become obvious.
I'm a massive fan of Nicktoons.
The Channel Was Released In 2002.
I've watched every TV Shows (even Reruns) In Nicktoons, and played through all the nicktoons games, minus maybe one or two. Now, I won't go on some fan-boyish tangent about how Nicktoons Is My Life And I Got Merchandise And Toys, but I love the Network.
I used to think that they couldn't even MAKE a Nicktoons (Flim) I wouldn't like.
I was wrong.
Now listen, I'm not made of money. I saw the SpongeBob Nicktoons Episode Called Help Wanted was pretty good and I wanted to see it again, but, well like I said- not made of money, Right?
Well, I'm not proud of it, but I looked the cancelled movie up on one of those streaming websites, and I Found Cancelled Movie Of Nicktoons.
"Nicktoons Ü".
That was it.
I started it up and pressed play.
The traditional opening Bumper was Something Like This
"Nicktoons! We Be Right Back!"
Then the Nicktoons Logo Falls In The Sky Sunddenly The Bumper Won't Fucking Stop sounded like a Whistle Sound Effect From Cartoony One But It Was FUCKING Real and someone screamed "HOLY SHIT!"
The video quality suddenly switched to the... shittiest cam rip I had ever seen.
What.
The.
Fuck.
Then, a loud fuckin' fart was heard as the video panned down from nicktoons network headquarters into some guy's bathroom as he was taking a shit. It was some normal-ass bathroom, on Nicktoons Headquarters And Also It's Called NICKTOONS!
He flushed his shit down the toilet.
Fucking Green Hands started reaching out of the toilet and started trying to pull the man in as the Making Fiends Theme Song began to play so FUCKING LOUD that someone called the fucking cops for a noise disturbance.
...Fucking Vendetta From Making Fiends began to rise out of the toilet as she tried to yank the guy in, laughing hysterically and shooting fucking Panzerfaust 3 rockets everywhere, tearing up the walls and shorting out the power.
"HE WASN'T A FUCKING NICKTOONS CHARACTER!" Vendetta SCREAMED, as the fucking cops started knocking on my door.
The guy started screaming as Vendetta repeatedly tried to pull him down the toilet, before eventually getting yanked in entirely as Vendetta crawled all the way out.
Then the police kicked my fucking door down SO FUCKING HARD!
I explained to the cops what happened, fixed up the door best as I could, and went back to watching.
We suddenly see what was supposed to be a flashback to the episode of SpongeBob cooking a Krabby Patties or something, but instead, he sat down at a fucking Windows XP PC and opened some shitty Windows Movie Maker file named "THE LOST EPISODE OF SPONGEBOB" The video was literally just a slowly rotating picture of a fucking piece of paper that said "the toons still breathe." As "Walk The Dinosaur" Played. This caused SpongeBob start fucking foaming at the mouth and vomiting In fucking Indian beef as DRAMATIC fucking rock music played before he whipped a Long Fucking Knife out of fucking NOWHERE and sliced the computer in half to some shitty heavy metal guitar riff. SpongeBob started SCREAMED as if the Voice actor was in Like A Fucking Banshee kicked the computer into the distance, causing the fucking Wii Sports "HOME RUN!" screen to appear.
The screen cut to black as Mr X's From The X's could be heard saying "This Is A Fucking Ü" WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!??! Did Mr X Fucking Swear?
What the fuck? I couldn't believe Paramount would allow this to ever be made.
We suddenly see Patrick walking into a fucking McDonald's and asking the shadow reader
Patrick: "Do you Have Any Krabby Patties?"
The Shadow Reader: Look patrick, we only have Big Mac And Other Stuff
Patrick: KRABBY Patties?!
"No." The Shadow Reader said.
"But you Served Any Foods!" Said Patrick
The Shadow Reader suddenly lost his SHIT.
"Look patrick, I don't know what fuckin' disorder you got, but We don't take no fuckin' Krabby-Ass-Cum-Shit-Patty! Now Take that Bubble Gum Guy Costume off and get the HELL out of my Restaurant!"
Patrick paused for a minute.
Suddenly, he started fucking USING A CHAINSAW TO MURDER ALL PEOPLE In the Restaurant. He Murder customers everywhere. He started Spitting Fucking Panzerfaust 3 Rocket Launcher rockets and pulling down the walls as he screamed "THE TOONS STILL BREATHE!!!" As Ice Cream Machine exploded everywhere.
Making Fiends Music fucking theme started playing again as Lil Rob, And Lincoln's Loud with Brown Skin and, Make Me Fucking Vomited Beef! And his glowing eyes! and a fucking static smile on his face walked into the store and started destroying it further.
The footage cut out abruptly and an image of Barack Obama wearing A SpongeBob Custom suddenly appeared accompanied by the shitty krusty krab font says "The Black SpongeBob"
What
The
Fuck?
Was this some kind of fucking political statement in a Nicktoons Flim?
We then cut to Stimpy but He So Fucking Terrible He Have Freckles And You gussed it shitty hyper realistic blood.
We see Him trying To Going To Bed But Ren Hits Him So Hard.
WHAT THE FUCK STIMPY?! He Says I TOLD Ü TO TAKE OUT OF TRASH! NOT BEING LAZY EEIDOT!!
Why Ren Keep Saying To Word Ü On It?
Stimpy walked in muttering Saying "Fuck!" over and over again under his breath.
We See Blake From Get Blake! BURST From the Fucking Floor And Saying "OH SHHHHIIIIITTTTT OH YEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he SCREAMED out of the window as he threw up gang signs and started whooping.
Suddenly, some kid threw a Fucking Sword through his windshield and he flew out of control and crashed his car onto some nearby Road, right as the fucking Truck was coming through.
"THE TOONS STILL BREATHE MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Blake Woods Fucking hollered as he picked up the entire Truck With A Gravity Gun and threw it into a fucking Jack In The Fucking Box
I really wished the Toons would cease to breathe.
Why the fuck was so much of this movie filmed on Headquarters, anyway? I mean, I guess it actually WAS a novelty for HQ to appear in a Nicktoons Flim?
but it was...weird.
We see Timmy Turner From FOP whipping His Lightsabers Toy But It Was Actually Fucking Real ViacomCBS Didn't OWNS Rights Star Wars, And Of Course he around like a fucking spaz and playing Just Dance.
Suddenly, his eyes started fucking glowing.
He erupted.
The CGI at this part was fucking horrible. It looked like someone threw fucking plastic Timmy Turner parts at the screen was he was supposed to fucking explode.
We then cut to a Real Life Video of happy holidays Shows Man Slapping His Fucking Anus With His Paddle He Wear Santa Hat He Have No Clothes Shoes Or Pants As "Who Let Dogs Out?" FUCKING PLAYING SO REALLY LOUD!
And The Fucking Text Saying
"Get fuck out
am playing fartnite"
in some shitty comic sans font.
"What the FUCK?" I suddenly SCREAMED, causing my dog to leap off my bed in terror and smack into my nightstand, fucking collapsing it my fucking nicktoons toys collection
We then see a fucking Blue Zim
"still breathe the toons do" he said before whipping out a fucking inhaler and ejecting a red knife blade from it.
We Can See Carl Wheezer From Jimmy Neutron Dancing Blue Clues Mailtime But It Lyrics Was Wrong,
It Something Like This:
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
LET ME GET OUT FUCK THIS MAIL
THEN I'M GONNA WAIL!
"WHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?"
It's So Fucking Loud.
Seriously What?
We Can See Snap From ChalkZone but it was from behind. He was on a spaceship, but it was incredibly dark. He had ejected that little chalk thing that he used to hold stuff, but I couldn't see what he was holding.
Then I realized.
It was a fucking microphone.
Suddenly, the lights came on and Snap WHIPPED around with a fucking man's mouth and started fucking rapping, rocking side to side as he dropped the most INTENSE bars I had ever heard in what sounded like the voice of Cochise.
After a moment, I realized the beat was a fucking rap remix of the ChalkZone Theme Song.
I screamed like a fucking banshee.
Snap started sticking his fucking tounge out of the mouth and laughing before I threw my fucking computer into a wall.
To my horror, the film continued to play.
We see
Mikey, From Kappa Mikey I Remember Watching It From 2006 But Then trying to jam his spoon down a fucking sink garbage disposal.
"Ugh. Son of a GUN!" Mikey yelled as the spoon refused to go all the way down the drain.
Mikey started fucking banging on the hilt with his fists to try and force it down, which was REALLY fucking loud. Dust started falling from the screen and the camera would shake each time he did this.
"Mother FUCKER!!!!!" he SCREAMED like a fucking banshee as he FINALLY smacked it all the way in.
I had never heard Mikey curse before, and I never wanted to again.
Ever.
We suddenly GIR From Invader ZIM Making A Stew.
"Oh, shit! Oh, yeah YEAH!" He SCREAMED Like A Fucking Banshee he filled up his stew with like some shit.
"What the fuck are you doing GIR?" Zim Says
"I'm making a stew for the holidays, Zim!" GIR Asked
"GIR IT WASNT CHRISTMAS YOU LYING!"
Then Blake Woods From Get Blake! YET AGIAN BURSTED To Fucking Door And He Says, "THE TOONS STILL BREATHE!"
And Of Course My Computer Fucking Explode,
And That Was It.
And Dear Reader If You Find This Nicktoons Ü In Shitty Website Don't.
Credited to TheRealDevonte
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