POSTAL2.EXE
april 20 2003: i been hearing about this game called "postal 2" its been trending over the internet for the wrong ways, to my curiosity i wanted to download it, but it was too expensive. I kept spacing around my room trying to find a solution until i saw, i found a website called "www.freepostal2.net" which contained a pirated copy of postal 2, i started jumping around my room in excitement as soon as it finished downloading. but the weird stuff was the files, there were no texture folders, no audio folders, just a singular exe called "POSTAL2" and a patch file, the game had problems starting at first, so i ran the patch file, it started installing bug fixes and more exclusive content until it said "downloading evildude.zip" which was kinda weird but i still ignored it, when the game ran, it was just a black background and the only button was "new game" it showed me the controls and the game started. For the intro there was no wife bitching about me, it just started with an errand saying "go to work". Of course it ment go the running with scissors HQ, while walking in there, there was no one in the streets same with the HQ. Instead when i went to the HQ's basement, there was a corpse of what appeared to be postal dude, the errand changed to "piss" meaning to piss on myself? so i did but the moment i did, the game crashed, when i reopened it, it started me outside of the hq, i checked the errands and there was nothing but postal dude saying "time to head home". While walking to home, i saw a black figure resembling the postal dude model chasing, the music got distorted and i was becoming slower when he catched me, nothing happened, rather the music stopped. As i was going home, something shocking happened. Images of real dead bodys started showing in the screen with text such as "I REGRET EVERYTHING" "THAT WASN'T THE TICKET" and the same black figure would start humping me from the behind making me lose damage. Postal dude started becoming slower and slower until at one point he stopped. Just for a boss fight to start, the black figure transitioned to a postal dude with bloodshot eyes, he had all the weapons, unlimited ammo and very high speed. At one point he would dissapear and text saying "come find me" would pop up and gave me 2 minutes to find evil postal dude. If i didn't, evil postal dude would jumpscare me causing me to lose a chunk of health. this all looped until my health was dropped to 1. Evil postal dude was nowhere to be seen and postal dude said angrily to me "JUST GO HOME ALREADY" as if nothing happened. While going to home, the same thing would happen where i was becoming slower and slower, only this time postal dude kneeled down to the ground and started crying. He would cry and one point started shouting "I REGRET EVERYTHING" i tried closing the game, but it wouldn't let me and something happened that never was a thing in vanilla postal 2. The day turned into night and night turned into day. Meaning that time was moving, postal dude just sat there, decaying until he just layed to the ground, followed by a game over screen, The game then closed. Thinking it was all over i looked outside of my window, just to find postal dude outside my house pouring gasoline and lighting my house on fire and while he was leaving he said his famous line "I REGRET NOTHING". I am currently at the hospital as i write this. DO NOT PIRATE POSTAL 2
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