Pasta

The spaghetti wrapped around me like a snake about to crush it's victim. It constricted around me and left me to slowly die as my rib cage shattered. It left me there and grabbed a drink. Slowly, it's enormous mouth opened up and it's oddly white, spiked teeth would be shown. It bit off the cap of the beer it had just grabbed and started to drink. It came close to me with it's enormous spaghetti body and called it's brothers. It whispere-"Oh fuck no asshole. You aren't pulling this shit on me." the young man says, somehow breaking the fourth wall whilst simultaneously healing it's own body. "I won't let you, you asshole. You won't put me through any of this shit. This is my story now."

"Wait, whut? Th-that's not how it works you nameless character you! I give you a role and you play it while I give you as many cliches as possible!" I reply, for some reason adding a description to what I said

"Oh please, do you really not think this whole set up isn't a giant piece of shit? Like for real, you're giving me a story about a giant strand of spaghetti, uncooked who somehow captures me without breaking in the process. Dude, I can't even hold a piece of uncooked spaghetti without breaking it let alone having a giant one somehow holding me, without hands by the way and carrying me all he way to my house." He says, somewhat making sense. I dunno, I'm getting lazy, man

"Well, it could've driven." I say looking through my mind for excuses

"That is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard, dude. I mean, just the idea of a sentient and conscious piece of spaghetti is already hard to buy let alone it being capable of driving without fucking breaking. I could literally wiggle a strand in my hand and have it break, bro." He exclaims while giving me a dirty look (asshole)

"Why're you being such an asshole, anyways?" I ask, somehow forgetting I wrote the character

"Well, like you pointed out in your thing, you fucking wrote me, moron. Anyways, just fucking do something you know how to do and fucking watch youtube videos or something you sack of shit" He says, coldly

"k" I say in a calm, emotionless voice

Based on a true story, guys.

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