PastaMonster Dicks

From Trollpasta Wiki
Jump to navigationJump to search

This page is not safe for work or school. The content of this story is not suitable for some audiences, and may be inappropriate to view in some situations.
...Or in all situations, at any time, any place, and by any audience for that matter.

The approximate size of Slendy's dick, according to Furbearingbrick.

Furbearingbrick: When will I stop having nightmares about Slenderman's giant weiner D:

BigBug64: Fur, as soon as you /start/ having nightmares about someone /else's/ giant weiner.

I mean, uh.

Furbearingbrick: I mean seriously. In my imagination Slendy's manhood is big enough to tear through mountains.

BigBug64: would it even be a manhood?

*I feel like it would be like a... /thing/hood


Furbearingbrick: Slendy: "it's fucking tiem!"

BigBug64: I suppose that's why he abducts children.

DeadpoolHacker: whats up?

Furbearingbrick: just discussing the size of Slenderman's hyppthetical penis

C0balt Crusade: HAHAHA-we really need to get a hobby/job/other things to talk about.

Furbearingbrick: yep.

C0balt Crusade Sadly, Playing TF2, watching ponies and chatting are not jobs.

BigBug64 Jeff the Killer's hypothetical thing is probably the size of that fluffy stuff you find in your pocket after your pants go through the dryer.

DeadpoolHacker: LOL

C0balt Crusade We already know about BOBs

BigBug64 Rake... is more like an animal than a person. He'd probably have some kind of horse thing or something

Furbearingbrick You really dont wanna know what happens when Zalgo faps.

C0balt Crusade Whole galaxys get torn apart

C0balt Crusade Everytime Zalgo faps a star explodes, a puppy dies, and a baby is eaten.

C0balt Crusade Even if a star is new, Zalgos just like "Fuck it, no one will notice if it detonates."

BigBug64 I don't think I have ever

felt this fucked up in my life

Furbearingbrick: Worm Jeff's is retractable.

Furbearingbrick OK, let's drop the sex talk now.

Created on Creepypasta Wiki Chat.

And now...Da List!

I think Masky's has a tiny mask and Hoody's has a minature hood. Also, when Slenderman gets sexually aroused his Proxies do too, which results in some awkward situations. Masky: "now you'll be one of us...*gets raging boner* GODDAMNIT SLENDY!!!" -Furbearingbrick

Splendorman's dick is a balloon animal, of course - Furbearingbrick

Wouldn't the Balloonatic's dick be a balloon animal? Or does it actually have 4 dicks which it uses as tentacles? -Givem Ee Pancakes, ,your eventual doom. YOU'LL SEE! 17:56, March 12, 2013 (UTC)

No, those four tentacles are used for siphoning blood from victims. The Ballonatic's penis is usually retracted inside its body, near its sphincter, and is corkscrew-shaped. It is also a rather interesting shade of muave. - Furbearingbrick

The Observer has TWO dicks. And both of them have little, fang-filled mouths at the ends. Ditto for Firebrand. I'm sorry to everyone who's a fangirl of either of those two, because now you'll never be able to see them the same way again.- Furbearingbrick

Jeff cut his off when he cut out his eyelids, and regretted it immedieatly afterward.-C0

The dog in the original picture used to make the Smiledog image is female, but Smiledog is generally assumed to be male. So does that mean Smiledog is a hermaphrodite? - Furbearingbrick

Forenzik is circumised. Correct me if I'm wrong, Dronian. Please. - Furbearingbrick

He's not. No, seriously. Dronian (talk) 22:08, March 13, 2013 (UTC)
Well, I'm glad that's been cleared up. - Furbearingbrick

Wait where does it say that? Also, did he do the deed with his own suit's claws? -Givem Ee Pancakes, ,your eventual doom. YOU'LL SEE! 19:31, March 12, 2013 (UTC)

I'm just assuming.

Anyway, on with the jokes. Sonic.exe's dick is a glitchy mess. (that's what she said.) -Furbearingbrick

Eyeless Jack's dick also hungers for kidneys. - Furbearingbrick

Red's dick (Godzilla NES, not the Pokemon game) is probably what made melissa kill herself -Givem Ee Pancakes, ,your eventual doom. YOU'LL SEE! 22:35, March 12, 2013 (UTC)

Funnymouth is a crotch burglar. Yeah, he burgles your crotch. - Furbearingbrick

"I can see your tiny dick. Don't be so sad about it! 8=DO)_(O" -Givem Ee Pancakes, ,your eventual doom. YOU'LL SEE! 12:24, March 13, 2013 (UTC)

Mr. Widemouth has a four-headed superpenis like an echidna's. -Furbearingbrick

Seedeater's penis is so big that it has a penis. And that penis is still bigger than your penis. - Furbearingbrick

Rumor has it that The Judge has large testicles. Nazar: "*blushes* Well...well, I've never checked..." Judge: "I'm not telling, ha ha ha." - Furbearingbrick

The Skin-Taker doesn't have a dick; he's a fucking skeleton! Though the jury's out on wether LOLSKELETONS has one... - Furbearingbrick

I disagree with C0balt's assertion that Jeff has no penis. I believe he suffers from micropenis. He's kind of sensitive about that little fact, though. -Furbearingbrick

Tails Doll's penis is a toy sword. It normally fucks Barbie when it's in 'the mood', if you get where I'm going. However, he must fight an entire army of GI Joe first. -Subject M Test 2

The Shadow Lurker's dick glows in the dark when he gets aroused or has to pee. - Furbearingbrick

BRVR's dick emits large jolts of electricity when he climaxes - Furbearingbrick

Does Forenzik use the Happy Appy puppet as a jimmy hat? -Givemepancakes

I hope not. Dronian (talk) 22:08, March 13, 2013 (UTC)

The Broken Glass Beast has no dick, as it is genderless. But occasionally, in its search for glass shards to replenish its glass supply, it will come across one in a rather rude shape. -Furbearingbrick.

Starfish don't have dicks (they reproduce asexually) but PATRIXXX is no ordinary starfish. No one's been brave enough to look under his shorts to check, though. -Furbearingbrick

Heron is a hermaphrodite; it can produce both sperm and eggs. HERON EGGS. -Furbearingbrick

Trenderman's dick is tattooed, and has a peircing. It's a shameful reminder of his rebellious younger days. -Furbearingbrick

Patrixxx's head, arms, and legs are all dicks. Also, the heron reuses the pots and pans it makes a mess of as a dick. -GMP

Fun fact: Worm Jeff can use his telekinesis to jack off. Also, his dick is somewhat shiny and purplish-blue, becoming hot pink at the tip. As I mentioned before, it's usually concealed in his cloaca. Worm BEN's dick is similar, only it's slightly smaller and bright red. - Furbearingbrick

While we're on that note, Jeffrey can't jack off due to his micropenis. So he uses a marching band as a musical buttplug. -GMP

The Man With A Bag's dick is one of those cardboard things they hold pennies in. -GMP

Which pasta monster is the prowd owner of this penis? -GMP

There's a rumor going around that The Sniper's twig and berries are blue. -Furbearingbrick

NoEnd House has a secret room with a dong-shaped pillar in it. -Gimmiepancakes

At full size (when he's absorbed the lifeforce of one Slenderperson), God-Jeff's dick is concealed within his body like Worm Jeff's. I won't tell you exactly how big it is, but it's certainly nothing to sneeze at. Ha ha ha ha ha.... -Furbearingbrick

Thanks to "Ring My Bell", we now know EXACTLY what Splendorman's dick looks like. ~shudder~ -Furbearingbrick

Laughing Jack has two 3-foot-long, prehensile tentacle cocks that have the same black-and-white stripe pattern as his nose and tongue. Oddly enough, SnuffBomb seems to agree with me on this. -Furbearingbrick

Comments • 0
Loading comments...